How to Move the Agenda Forward and Make People Feel Powerful
Power encourages blabbing.
The leader who talks the most has the most power. The person at the top tends to monopolize time, ask fewer questions, and frequently interrupt.
Who has the power?
You want your team to feel powerful. But when you do all the talking, you encourage compliance.
Get your team talking to each other if you want them to feel powerful.
Marie wisely comments:
“The person who talks the most has the most power. If you want your team to feel powerful, listen to them talk.” – this is a fine line.
I agree leaders need to listen to their employees talk, but there is also a time they need to speak up, shut a conversation down, and make a decision.
Sometimes leaders spend too much time letting the conversations go on.
My expanded response:
Marie, you write the truth. It’s frustrating when leaders listen too much and don’t make appropriate decisions or give needed direction.
Generally speaking, I know more leaders who could listen more. (But the problem of over-listening and under-deciding is real.)
Regarding conversations that go on too long:
Marie, your insight is a useful reminder. For example, it can be useful to interrupt a conversation and ask, “Can anyone think of a reason we can’t make a decision right now?”
If someone says, “I’m not comfortable making the decision right now,” create an opportunity for them to talk.
- “On a scale of 1 to 10, how comfortable do you need to be to move forward?” Suppose they say 6. The next question…
- “Where are you right now, on a scale of 1 to 10?” Suppose they say 4. The next question…
- “What might help you get to a 6?” This question gives directions to conversations and prevents unnecessary chatter.
If you want your team to feel powerful, create opportunities for them to them talk.
How much listening is too much?
How might leaders create interactions where others do more of the talking?
The leader with whom I worked that I found to be most effective was excellent at getting members of our leadership team talking to one another. He encouraged disagreement. He listened well for an appropriate length of time; then he would summarize what he heard; and let us know his decision—along with “why” he was making that decision. It was a very helpful approach.
Thanks Ken. It takes real skill to listen for the appropriate length of time. 🙂
This made me think about one of my favorite books, “Multipliers: How The Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter” by Liz Wiseman. There is a section that notes that “Liberators are ferocious listeners. C.K. Prahalad says “How smart you are is defined by how clearly you can see the intellect of others.” They are trying to learn and understand what other people know.
It goes on to say that the ratio shifts to more listening and asking questions in pursuit of gaining as much knowledge as possible for an informed decision that is powered by the team.
People often say that great leaders ask the right questions – I think an equal amount of observing and listening will inform questions which I believe can encourage discussion and reduce barriers. The leaders that spends time at all levels of the organization with their teams will be noticed and at times, provide unsolicited input from the ground perspective.
This balance of listening, observing, and soliciting knowledge is a work in progress – it may evolve during a tenure based on the demands, relationships, employee turnover and other factors.
Thanks Kishla. The word adaptability comes to mind as I reflect on your comment. PS Yes, Wiseman’s book is wonderful.
Attentive listening becomes a craft to share, what you learned and how you can enhance your journey. We only digest what we see as useful, realizing perhaps later the the picture being drawn has a greater impact.
So listen, ask questions and encourage viewpoints from all who are present, they may be your next Leader too! Not on abad way, the flower goes from seed to blossom.
Thanks Tim. Curiosity IS a way to develop leaders. It helps people learn to think on their own. It helps people feel valued. Curiosity – being asked questions – even helps people learn what they know.
The best leaders I’ve known open a dialogue
(here’s “our” agenda and where “we” need to get to [not “I”])
And then summarize it to finish it(some more elegant than others, but that’s part of their genius).
They simply expect to listen, and most are willing to comply (as you say).
Too much talk is when we find ourselves debating things that are not material or relevant, or is not being put concisely, precisely, accurately or completely. (i.e. it’s bs – we aren’t being good followers…)
That’s when a good leader steps in and summarizes what is relevant and material, and usually asks, “Fair to say?” (any objections?) or ” Am I missing anything?” (are we finished?).
This makes everyone at the table influential (powerful) as a matter of fact. The easier we make it to listen (by being material and relevant, etc.) the more influential we become.
Thanks Rurbane. Your comment got me thinking about “too much” talk. I think one expression of this is making up problems or obstacles that have little chance of occurring and then trying to solve them.
Too much talk comes from too many “what if’s.”
How much listening is too much?
Once you understand the person’s need, goal, point of view, etc.. it’s time to stop listening and start responding.
How might leaders create interactions where others do more of the talking?
Ask insightful and probing questions. Why and what if questions motivate people to say more.
Thanks Paul. You’re comment brought, “What’s next,” to mind. Use points of clarity to identify next steps. Don’t use them for more talking. Use them to guide action.
Your recommendation for hearing “I’m not comfortable making the decision right now,” is great. I’m definitely going to try that at my next opportunity.
I think it’s worth pointing out that for a lot of leaders/managers, getting compliance is the actual goal!
….but they should want commitment!
Couple of thoughts on scales:
If you use a 1-10 scale, then 7 should not be allowed as an answer. 7 is not a committed number, its halfway between 5 and 10 so its basically a neutral response.
I’m not a fan of scales with a midpoint in general because it gives people an out to not say something negative.
I like 1 – 4. You have to pick a side and its pretty easy to interpret. 1 – hate it, 2 – didn’t like, 3 – kinda liked, 4 – loved it.
I just don’t think you need a 10 scale in general. There’s no real different between a 3 and a 4, or an 8 or 9. Maybe if you wanted some more nuanced responses a 1 – 6 scale would work.
oh yeah – great article Dan! 🙂
Our State Governor won’t make any decisions. Let’s everyone talk. Is that a leader? Absolutely not.
Thanks Carolyn. I assume you aren’t encouraging leaders to stifle input. Instead, it’s important to make decisions.