How to Find and Invite Others to Ride the Bull with You
Leading is like riding a bull in the rodeo. I recently asked a leader, “What shifts for you if you think of inviting someone to ride the bull with you?”
He said, “It feels uncomfortable to think others might ride the bull with me.”
The choice to ride alone:
You’re on the bull alone because you choose it.
- Isolation feels like power. When others ride with you, you feel less in charge.
- Complexity increases when more people jump on.
- No one else is qualified to ride with you.
- You don’t know how or when to give authority to others.
- Someone burned you in the past. Vulnerability feels dangerous.
Qualify others to ride:
Leaders are developed through taking leadership. Read all the books you want, but until you rope yourself in and the gate pops, you don’t know what leadership is about.
You might begin with theory, but you’re not leading until you feel the beast lurch.
Theory by itself never makes a leader.
The first seven:
- Embrace the idea of riding with others. It begins with you.
- Give small assignments. Is there follow through?
- Seek input. Are they open and candid?
- Provide tough feedback. Do they take it like a bull rider?
- Ask them to connect the dots and see the big picture. Do they see the impact of their actions on others or are they simply concerned for themselves?
- Discuss values. Are they on board? Make room for their number one value to be different from yours. Just be sure you share the same core values.
- Don’t give titles until they’ve earned them. Never use a title as a tool to make a leader.
Candor: Discuss the theory and expectations behind the first seven ideas. Don’t play games.
It’s one thing to develop leaders. It’s another thing to invite people to ride with you. How might leaders prepare people to join them in leadership? Prepare themselves?
Love everything about this post, Dan. I am very comfortable with developing and encouraging new leaders but there are many who see doing this as a threat. My thinking is that we are stronger together, AND we go further!
But what do you suggest when you encounter a person who insists on riding alone and can’t see the damaging effects it has on the team? That person trusts no one and wants all the recognition.
Thanks Gabriel. Congratulations on you’re openness.
The concern you mention often comes up. The options are reform, marginalized, reassign, or remove.
How might leaders prepare themselves? Read to get some insight, and hopefully prepare for what to expect, practice those things that are hardest…but ultimately leaders need to “Jump on the bull and hang on!” Just as you suggest with brining others in!
“Theory by itself never makes a good leader…” BOOM!
Thanks Will. Yes, do some reading. You reminded me that talking to a few experienced bull riders might help. Not just any bull rider, but one who has invited others to ride along.
And…if I might…the experienced bull rider MUST be qualified to assist. The terms ‘coach’ and ‘mentor’ get thrown around pretty loosely. Those are skills and must be learned and honed. Pick wisely.
As they say “Together Everyone Achieves More”. GO TEAM … and that includes the leader! “Rid[e] with others …”.
Thanks Lynne. Some how, some leaders feel over the team, rather than part of the team. A leader among equals seems to suit the idea.
I enjoy the visual of inviting people to ride the bull…my first instinct was fear for others safety. I’m not sure what that says about me, but both the post and my initial reaction has caused me to pause and reflect. Thank you!
You can not do big things alone, so what you are describing is a truly big and often underestimated virtue. Thanks for sharing and bringing it to surface.