5 Ways to Rise Above Self-Seeking Leadership
“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” Ernest Hemingway
Ego is healthy when it’s used in service of others. But egotistical leaders undermine teams because they’re self-seeking.
12 marks of self-seeking leadership:
- Contention. The need to prove you’re right and others are wrong at the expense of relationships.
- Rivalry. The drive to outdo others to elevate personal status.
- Manipulation. Secretly influence others for personal advantage.
- Unethical office politics. Building relationships with power-players while neglecting those with less power or prestige.
- Envy. Displeasure at the success or advancement of others.
- Backstabbing. Undermining the credibility of others with the goal of limiting their opportunities, potential, success, and advancement.
- Self-promotion. Elevating yourself at the expense of others.
- Finger-pointing to preserve personal status.
- Flaunting the trappings of position and power as a tool of intimidation and self-elevation.
- Massaging a public image that has no substance behind it.
- Credit-stealing and boasting.
- Delusions of grandeur. False impressions of one’s importance.
Warning:
Self-seeking leaders are seduced by appearances. They’re impressed by superficial appearances. They believe cock and bull stories. They hire people who puff themselves up and neglect job employees of substance.
Humble leaders:
Humble leaders love to brag about others because they see their strengths. But self-seeking leaders see weaknesses everywhere they look.
Humble leaders know success depends on others. They put team success above personal success.
Humble leaders align personal interest with organizational advantage.
Triggers to humble service:
Use the pull of self-interest to trigger humble service.
- When you feel the need to puff yourself up, praise someone on the team.
- When you need status, give honor.
- When personal advantage dominates your thinking, ask, “How can I help?”
- When you want others to serve you, dedicate your energy to helping your team win.
- Commit to elevate the performance of others.
Challenge for the week:
Repeat this mantra in your head, “Others are more important than me.”
Repeat your mantra when:
- Leading meetings.
- Having conversations.
- Dealing with tough issues.
- Confronting or correcting.
- Coaching or teaching.
How do you spot self-serving leaders?
What suggestions do you have for the daily practice of humble leadership.
*I relax my 300 word limit on weekends.
Wow, what a long list of negative behaviours- it’s like reading one of Bob Sutton’s books. but it’s kimda sad that all of them are regularly on display. Love the mantra and the list of triggers, but the hard question is how to recognise these things in ones own practice, before they cause harm. Being mindful is helpful, but the paradox is the more aware one becomes of ones own interactions, the less one needs the checklists. Not a criticism: good tools are always useful
This was really good. Like it or not, we need to be reminded to look for these landmines in ourself. Reminds me of Corinthians 13 – that chapter talking about what love is and is not.
Learn and model from a humble person.
I used to spend a lot of time asking myself, “Why can’t [so and so] be more like me?” Dan, your postings helped me come to the realization that it’s a good thing that others aren’t more like me.
Aspire to be a servant leader whose leads transformations by bringing out the absolute best in others.