2013

The Recovering Engineer

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The Two Sides of Trust

The Recovering Engineer

'Like so many words we use commonly, trust has many layers of meaning. While most of us have similar general perspectives about what it means to trust another person, there are some subtle differences in how we view this simple word. The words I often use to describe the two sides of trust are transactional trust and relational trust, and here is how I define the terms: Transactional trust refers to the trust we have that another person will do what they said they would do or complete and assign

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Get Comfortable With Mistakes

The Recovering Engineer

'One day a few years ago, my daughter and I had to drive about thirty miles on county roads through rural Indiana. Snow was not falling on the day we made this drive. However, there was plenty of snow in the fields on either side of the roads and the wind was blowing. Under these conditions, large sections of these roads are often covered with several inches of snow even though no snow is falling and most of the road surfaces are clear and dry.

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Six Questions to Ask for Successful Collaboration

The Recovering Engineer

'The biggest problem with collaborative problem solving is the collaborative part. Many new leaders became leaders because they know how to get things done. This individual ability to solve problems, applied in a team environment, can become a weakness as the new leader pushes strongly for a solution that others resist. I have been that new leader who pushed too strongly too early in the process.

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Using Apology to De-escalate a Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

'Apology is a powerful — and often under used — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits fault for the conflict or reveals a weakness. While these concerns may be legitimate in some situations, they are overblown in most cases. The perception of threat is the primary reason for conflict escalation , and removing this perception is the leverage point for conflict de-escalation.

Tips 208
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Listening as a Tool to De-escalate Conflicts

The Recovering Engineer

Recently, I read this statement: “They keep yelling at me that I’m not listening.” I would love to give credit to the person who said it, but I’ve lost the source. I think I saw it as a tweet in my twitter stream. I’m just not sure of that. In any case, I thought it was funny. Funny? Yes. A good perspective for conflict resolution?

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Conflict De-escalation Strategies: Control Your Tone and Body Language

The Recovering Engineer

'The perception of threat is the primary cause for conflict escalation. The most important word in the previous sentence is perception. If you have no intention of causing the other person harm (either physically or emotionally) and they perceive that you do intend to harm them, your real intentions do not matter. With regard to the affect your actions have on the conflict, it only matters that they perceive you to be a threat.

Strategy 199
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You Cannot Sell What You Do Not Own

The Recovering Engineer

'One day John, a newly promoted supervisor with Fictional Products, met with his boss, Bill, to discuss a new procedure recently mandated by a change to company policy. John was not happy with the change because he knew that his team would not like it. The new procedure added two documentation steps to an existing operation, and he knew that it would add both time and energy to an already cumbersome process.

Ethics 179