Ken Blanchard on Connecting with Your Boss
In a recent conversation with Ken Blanchard a viewer asked, “How do I respectfully encourage my boss to be a more servant leader?” (Facebook Live)
People with lousy bosses often ask about Leading Up. The real question is, “How can I FIX my lousy boss?”.
The bank:
Ken explained that influencing bosses is all about relationships. He used the analogy of putting money in the bank. Put ‘money’ in their bank.
Think first about what your boss needs from you, not what you need from your boss.
Invest in relationships before you correct or confront.
Corrective feedback makes withdrawals on positive feelings. But if you don’t have a reserve of good will, you’re a jerk asking for a loan that you can’t pay back.
How might you convince your boss you’re on their team?
Work relationships:
Connect with your boss by building strong relationships with colleagues and team members. Trouble-makers are burdens to the boss.
Strong connections drive results.
But the most important work relationship – as it relates to satisfaction and opportunity – is the one you have with your boss.
Ken’s strategy for connection with the boss:
- Honor their strengths. Ask for advice. (Watch the video.)
- Listen for ‘we’. Growing relationships move from ‘I’ to ‘we’.
- Prioritize organizational interests. If you want to connect with the boss, make things better for others. It’s not about your needs. It’s about ‘our’ best interests.
- Practice listening.
- Express interest in their concerns and interests.
- Ask, “How can I help?” Give help before seeking help.
- Show empathy.
- Ask questions that help your boss reflect on impact and explore options.
Watch the video and you’ll notice key strategies for relationship-building with the boss.
What strategies might you suggest for influencing the boss?
What should you avoid when trying to influence the boss?
Recommended reading: Servant Leadership in Action: How You Can Achieve Great Relationships and Results.
Dan,
Love the ” Listening instead of speak” fantastic.
So from sharing feedback standpoint this has helped build me and help tame me down through the years.
Having worked for “it’s my way or the highway” type Bosses has given me the essence to build ourselves through pain and suffering until we can make our own path (not in a disrespectful way) but in a sense we have matured.
Listening goes as far as you can absorb, and performing is the essence of our absorption.
Thanks Tim. I hear the voice of experience and I feel respect.
The idea that we need to “tame down” is hard for us to hear. We think the problem is OUT THERE when the solution is INSIDE US.
Who we are comes before what we do.
Thank you Dan, this is excellent! Unfortunately, my boss is not interested in relationships and has been putting his head in the sand, avoiding anything that could make him look bad.
How do connect with a boss who is only connected above you, and not interested in the people below?
Hi Duane. It’s not easy connecting with the boss. Especially one that is disinterested.
How can you make him look good? How might you adapt to his communication style?
If you boss wants a promotion, how might you help that happen?
It’s definitely difficult. Maybe we’d like to lay down the law, but that isn’t going to help anyone.
How does it seem to work on that relationship AND strengthen other relationships?
In any case, it feels like a long haul. Best wishes.
Good ideas Dan. Thank you.
Lot of wisdom here. Thanks for being my absolute favorite email every morning!
I like that in so many cases the only positional power you have (or think you have) is what you take by force (interview). If a leader is ever at that point it is most likely over and should just step down and move on.
It looks like humility is the beginning point in this particular venture. We may tend to rebel against bosses that we feel are in need of our particular input into how they might become more effective. Even the perception of their “deficiency” tends to push into feeling superior, at least in some ways. Even thinking about “how can I help” someone that I don’t particularly respect is a challenge. But… the counterpoint is “If I can’t have the humility to think about actually helping benefit my boss, how in the world can I expect her or him to have the humility to listen to me offer criticism?”
Take a careful look at your boss. Is this a person you want a close connection to? I’ve seen two senior managers leave recently under very black clouds – and saw the impact this had on the subordinates who were close to them.
Interesting conversation.
For intermittent interactions, this may work. But to keep a sustained respectful and beneficial relationship this might be tough.
It is the boss’ responsibility to be a role-model- the reverse may not make all parties happy.
To a well-meaning boss with few negativity we can be authentic, but if the boss is self-serving, good to play a political game.
Dan Rockwell’s “If you boss wants a promotion, how might you help that happen?” – requires a saint’s disposition 😀
Thanks Priya. Just a quick thought. If you help your boss get a promotion, your boss will be more inclined to help you get a promotion.