Two leaders walk out of a meeting. One just closed a major account and the other congratulates him for the win. Once the congratulator is out of earshot, the closer turns to his colleague and says, “He was green with envy before, and now he’s sucking up to me because he wants in on my account. He wants all the glory, but I worked hard for it. Now he knows how he makes the rest of us feel when he brags about his cushy life.”
How to Keep Envy from Poisoning Your Team’s Culture
Envy is often born out of deep feelings of inadequacy. We resent the people we feel inferior to for what they have, what we want, or what we feel we deserve. We also tend to dislike ourselves for having these feelings in the first place. In an attempt to combat our emotions, we draw self-gratifying comparisons. Though human, when leaders behave in this way, they create a culture in which putting others down builds themselves up. Such cultures can be incredibly destructive. To create cultures of cohesion, trust, and openness, leaders must identify and address their own feelings of inadequacy the moment they are triggered. The next time you feel inferior to the achievements or privileges of others, ask yourself, “What do they have that makes me feel less than them? What void do I believe having it would fill? What do I believe would happen if they didn’t have it?” Once you identify the root of your emotions, you can change them.