How To Elevate The Human Experience In The Workplace

A recent Deloitte quantitative survey led by Amelia Dunlop of 6,000 people in the US revealed that 84% of respondents said they do their best work then they feel worthy. And nine out of 10 people surveyed agreed or strongly agreed that it matters to them to feel worthy. Yet, five out of 10 indicated that they sometimes, often, or always struggle to feel worthy.

It’s this last finding in particular that presents a real challenge in the workplace. Dunlop, author of the new book, Elevating The Human Experience, explains that all too often, “Work is not only a place where we are missing inherent worth with systems that do not recognize the worthiness of all humans, but also a place that actively obscures our efforts to see ourselves as worthy because we are constantly reminded of, and competing, for our relative extrinsic worth in the form of praise, promotion, and raises.”

Dunlop’s book is for anyone who knows what it is like to struggle to feel loved and worthy when showing up at work. She tells her authentic and personal story of what it means to discover her own sense of love and worth in her twenty-year career.

She also reveals that:

Workers who believe that their employer rates high in humanity, genuinely caring about their experience, are two and a half times more likely to be motivated at work, and one and a half times more likely to take on more responsibility than their peers.
Her definition of love at work is the choice to extend yourself for the purpose of nurturing your own or another’s growth.
You can have four types of allies, each of which can have powerful roles in your life: Friend, Mentor, Sponsor and Benefactor. She explains that you need a mix of each of these.

Toward the back of the book, you’ll find dozens of reflection questions you can ask yourself before and/or after you read the book, including these:

How has your work fulfilled or not fulfilled your need to feel loved and worthy?
How does the workplace affect your ability to experience self-worth?
Who are the people in your life who nourish you the most?
Who are the people in your life who have served as allies along your journey?
Are your words and actions aligned with the type of impact you would hope to have on those around you?

Amelia Dunlop

Today, Dunlop shares these additional insights about her book:

Question: Why did you write your book?

Dunlop: Simply put, I wrote this book because I needed it. Ever since I was a little girl, I struggled to feel worthy of love. Physically, I was certainly less than whole, with a crooked pinky finger, near-sighted eyes, and near-deaf ears. I hoped that someday I would feel worthy of love if I just worked hard enough. Even as I grew from student to consultant to leader, with a loving husband and three beautiful children, I still felt as if feeling loved and worthy were just out of reach, especially when I showed up at work. I realized that my suffering made me normal and human, and that by learning to elevate the human experience—that is, by acknowledging my intrinsic worth and nurturing that worth through love, would lead to growth and love. I wrote this book to share my story and my journey so that others can be their real, authentic selves, especially at work.

Question: What do you say to prospective readers to encourage them to read your book?

Dunlop: If you’ve ever struggled to feel loved and worthy at work, or love and lead somebody who does, this book is for you. In our 6,000-person quantitative study of love and worth, we found that nine out of 10 say it matters to feel worthy, while only five out of 10 say they do feel worthy. And 84% of people say they do their best work when they feel worthy.

I believe that feeling worthy begins with learning to love ourselves and seeing ourselves as worthy regardless of the daily obstacles we face at work. Many of us struggle with the idea of self-love, believing that it may be mistaken as selfishness or narcissism. I hope this book helps readers understand that by learning to love yourself, you can extend that love to another person, as well as to the communities that you work with. Together, we can elevate the human experience.

Question: Thinking about the four types of allies one could have during their career journey, why do we hear most often about mentors and less frequently about friends, sponsors, and benefactors? Which of these four allies is most important to have and why?

Dunlop: We need a mix of the different types of allies in our lives, including friends, mentors, sponsors, and benefactors. They are each necessary and play different roles depending upon where you are along your journey. There are times when we may think we need a mentor with wise counsel, when what actually we actually need is someone who is willing to serve as a sponsor to remove an obstacle in your path. Developing a friend, mentor, or sponsor into a lifelong benefactor who is a witness to your journey will be the most important and satisfying relationship in your career.

Question: Would there be value to a reader reading the reflection questions at the end of the book both before and after reading the book, instead of reading them only at the end?

Dunlop: Only if you’re the type of person who always reads the last page of the book first! Seriously, I think it would be interesting for some readers to read the questions before they begin reading, reflect on them while reading the book, then read them after and see how their responses may have changed. It is my hope that by joining on me on this journey along the three paths to love and worth, readers will have a deeper understanding of what it means to elevate the human experience and how to answer the question, “How do we make things better?”

Thank you to the book's publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.

Comments

The Benefits Of When Everyone Leads

It’s only January and the new book, When Everyone Leads , could likely be my pick for the best new leadership book of 2023. It’s that good. There’s still nearly a whole year ahead of us so we’ll see what other books debut. In the meantime, add this book to your must-read list. You’ll learn that: Leadership is an activity, not a position. Leadership is mobilizing others to make progress on the most important challenges. Leadership is interactive, risky and experimental. Leadership comes in moments. Leadership is always about change. When Everyone Leads , by Ed O’Malley and Julia Fabris McBride , presents a revolutionary approach to leadership; not based on position or authority, but an activity that anybody can undertake by learning to spot opportunities for improvement and taking the initiative to engage others. “It can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but in a culture where everyone leads, organizations start to make progress on their most difficult problems,” explain t

Effective Listening: Do's And Don'ts

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman's book, The 11 Laws of Likability . They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

Five Must-Read Business Books To Read This Summer

Stumped for what business books to add to your summer reading list? Here are five must-read books for leaders well worth adding to your list: Lead With A Story -- A Guide To Crafting Business Narratives That Captivate, Convince, and Inspire . Author Paul Smith explains why storytelling has emerged as a vital skill for every leader and manager. In the book, you'll find over 100 ready-made stories you can use as templates to tell your stories. Stories are so powerful because they are simple, timeless, demographic-proof, contagious, easy to remember and inspiring. Most important, they put the listener in a mental learning mode. What's The Future Of Business? (WTF?) -- Changing The Way Businesses Create Experiences . This book, by Brain Solis, details the incredible transformation happening in business today, driven by new social and mobile technologies. And, he explains how experience design helps your business and how you can harness its power for business growth. This book

How To Make The Leap To Becoming A Leader

Here’s another must-read book to add to your list as you transition from manager to leader. It’s The Leap to Leader , by Adam Bryant . As the creator of the iconic “Corner Office” column in the New York Times , Bryant has spoken with more than a thousand leaders over the years about the challenges and nuances of leadership. Many of his discussions are included in his interview series on LinkedIn. “The goal of this book is to provide an intensely practical guide to making that transition by sharing insights, stories, and approaches from hundreds of leaders to build the skills you will need to make the leap to leader,” explains Bryant. He adds that the book is useful to everyone who is interested in leadership, regardless of where they are in their career. The book covers: The central paradox of leaders: selfless vs. self-centered. How to perfect the do-to-say ratio. Ways to navigate office politics. Tactics to making better decisions. The crucial art of compartmentalizati

How To Lead With Heart

Those who lead with heart consistently have discussions with their teams about their unexpressed needs, fears, desires, gifts, and sense of purpose , explain the authors of the compelling book, Leading With Heart . CEO coaches and authors John Baird and Edward Sullivan share that anyone can learn how to make an authentic connection with their teams in order to drive better outcomes. And their book provides readers clear and practical insights to help them succeed in making those connections. Be sure to read the highlighted key principles and takeaways at the end of every chapter. Baird and Sullivan further share that workers today want to feel respected, seen and appreciated for who they are. That’s why companies with the best retention, morale, and productivity are led by leaders with heart. As Alexander Den Heijer said, “ When a flower doesn’t bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower .” “In heart-based cultures, people feel safe pushing back and

Eights Ways To Demonstrate You Value Your Employees

There are eight specific actions business leaders can take to show that they value their employees , according to Andrew Leigh , author of the book, Ethical Leadership -- Creating and Sustaining an Ethical Business Culture . Those eight behaviors are: Attention -- Pay attention to what people say to show your interest. Listen -- Make time to hear what colleagues, peers and employees have to say to show you care. Positive Language -- Find words and phrases to show employees they're needed. Examples are, "We couldn't have accomplished this without you," "That was really useful." Document -- Put praise in writing to increase its impact. Make clear where the credit belongs. Micro Sessions -- Create two-way communication sessions. Visits -- Schedule visits to teams and work areas. Stories -- Share stories that highlight unusual contributions and provide your personal response to them. Invite -- Ask people to contact you directly with their issue

How To Be A Go-To Person At Work

Bruce Tulgan ’s book, The Art of Being Indispensable at Work is all about how to win influence, beat overcommitment, and get the right things done in your workplace . Tulgan says that what truly sets “go-to people” apart is how they think and what they do, including: They understand the peculiar mathematics of real influence – doing the right thing for the long term. They lead from wherever they are – going vertically before going sideways (or diagonally). They know when to say no and how to say yes . They work smart – creating checklists, step-by-step instructions, and professionalizing everything they do. They finish what they start . They get better and better at working together . They promote “go-to-ism” – finding other indispensable people throughout the organization and building new go-to people whenever there’s a chance to do so. Other characteristics of indispensable people , are: Maintaining a positive attitude Doubling down on hard work Taking personal res

Seven Tough Questions To Ask Your Team

High-functioning teams can disagree and still produce excellent products and results. Team members can also disagree and still care about each other. And, they can challenge each other to think differently. Best-selling leadership book authors Scott J. Allen and Mitchell Kusy recommend that leaders ask seven tough questions of their teams to help maximize their results. Here are those questions to ask each team member: What are some obstacles affecting this team? What are opportunities we could take advantage of that we have been largely ignoring? Where can you take greater ownership on this team? Where have you let this team down ? Compared to other teams with which you are familiar, how are we doing ? When was the last time you complimented the team or one of its members? How open are you to giving direct feedback to team members?

How To Listen Effectively

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman 's book, The 11 Laws of Likability . They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated To All In

Here is a book that provides workplace leaders an urgently needed methodology for helping companies to reduce worker loneliness, and it delivers a blueprint for building strong, high-performing workplace teams. The book is, Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated To All In , by Ryan Jenkins and Steven Van Cohen . “72% of workers suffer from loneliness. And, what was once a simmering problem shifted to a crisis when COVID-19 and the sudden transition to remove work isolated workers from each other as never before,” report the authors. “Loneliness is the absence of connection,” explain the authors. “Loneliness is not defined by the lack of people, because someone can be lonely even while surrounded by others. We require more than the presence of others. We require the presence of others to dream, strategize, and work toward commons goals.” Furthermore, “workplace loneliness is defined by the distress caused by the perceived inadequacy of quality connection to team

Eric Jacobson On Management And Leadership

Search This Blog