Not long ago, I received a call from an HR manager at a large corporation seeking an executive coach for one of their senior leaders. He was described as arrogant, tactlessly blunt, and lacking empathy. Despite his challenges, all of which hadn’t improved much despite several previous coaching interventions, the company hadn’t fired him because he was considered one of the industry’s most brilliant engineers, responsible for several of the firm’s most profitable patents. The company simply couldn’t afford to let him go.
When a Leader Is Causing Conflict, Start by Asking Why
How do you coach a leader who others think is a hopeless case? Sometimes you can’t. The person may well turn out to be a jerk who won’t change their toxic ways. But oftentimes the leader is being misunderstood and their behavior misdiagnosed. To make sure you aren’t unfairly pigeon-holing a struggling leader, be sure to manage your assumptions and judgements. Is it possible you are projecting your own issues or previous experiences on this person? Look beyond the presenting symptoms to understand what lies beneath the seemingly destructive behavior. Observe patterns and notice when there are breaks in those patterns. Understanding where people deviate from predictable habits can provide important clues. Are there people this person works especially well or poorly with? Specific circumstances in which they shine or falter? Lastly, have a broad repertoire of solutions. When you have a narrow set of tools, you’re more likely to assume people are suffering from similar problems (i.e. everything looks like a nail when you only have a hammer). Avoid one-size-fits-all solutions and instead, think through what that person truly needs to improve.