Why Working Couples Need to Talk More About Power

Dual-career couples often talk about their dreams and wishes at the beginning of a relationship — they’re part of what makes new love feel so empowering. According to the author’s research, people in these relationships feel powerful when their partner sees and supports their work and life ambitions. But as those relationships mature power often becomes a dirty word. Couples often drift into a dynamic in which habit takes the place of negotiation, asymmetry that of reciprocity. A partner might feel that only one part of them gets seen, or only one person’s ambitions are supported in the relationship. For couples to thrive, they must keep working to acknowledge, support, and balance both partners’ power, taking time to be curious about each partner’s ambitions, professional and otherwise.