4 Years Ago Today: How Any Leader Can Kickstart and Land A Powerful Conversation
This post was originally published 4 years ago today. (11-22-2016)
You look for an escape when blabbing leaders arrive. But a leader skilled at powerful conversations is a thing of beauty.
10 questions to kickstart powerful conversations:
- What would make this conversation a success for you today?
- What’s giving you the most energy these days? What does that say about you?
- What’s on your mind?
- What are you learning?
- What crossroads are you at today?
- What would you like to get out of this conversation?
- How would you like to move the ball forward today?
- Would you like me to listen, coach, or advise you today? (Thanks Bob Hancox.)
- Where do you feel you are wasting energy?
- How have you succeeded since our last conversation?
My two favorites are: What’s on your mind? What would you like to get out of this conversation?
10 questions to land powerful conversations:
The way you land a conversation solidifies it’s value.
- If I saw you moving forward as a result of our conversation, what would I see you doing differently? (If you want different results, you must choose different behaviors.)
- What’s shifting in your thinking? Follow this with, what’s important to you about that?
- Who might join you as you move forward? Encourage people to share their goals with others.
- What would you like me to ask you next time? (Personal favorite.)
- What was useful today?
- What seems clearer for you today?
- What do you plan to do between now and our next conversation? When? How?
- What does success look like as you move forward?
- What worked best for you during our conversation?
- What do you need to stop doing?
5 results of powerful conversations:
- Connection.
- Self-discovery.
- Clarity.
- Forward movement.
- Accountability.
What if the power of transformation is ignited in questions, not statements?
Which questions for kickstarting and landing powerful conversations do you like best? Why?
Really great questions Dan. Not asking great questions is probably one of our biggest mistakes as leaders. When we ask great questions, we help those we lead find accomplishment and success in themselves. When that happens, our leadership influence will soar.
Thanks Jay. You wrote something in a way that I hadn’t thought of before. “When we ask great questions, we help those we lead find accomplishment and success in themselves.” That feels really powerful to me.
Imagine if we made it a goal to help people see accomplishment and success in themselves.
Great post (as always!), Dan. I love having one-on-one meetings with my team members, and these are great suggestions to make the conversations more meaningful and purposeful.
Thanks Tom. It’s great to see that you enjoy one-on-ones. Best wishes
I had an old BOSS years ago who, with me as a new consultant in his consulting firm, would always start with, “Okay, Scott. I’ve only got a few minutes. What’s on your mind?” and his closing comment was mostly along the lines of, “Why don’t you go ask John?” Ed NEVER had time for the people who were making him money and he generally stood there practicing his golf swing while you were talking to him. John was very supportive.
Ed, in the three years I was there, put maybe 25 consultants in business working against him. They learned his stuff and then left to form their own companies. At the end of three years, John and I were the only two that stayed on…
Connection is a strong positive suggestion. Listening and respect are very important. But we all know that sincerity and openness are also very important factors in all this.
Ask, and ye shall receive.
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Thanks Dr. Scott. Your addition of sincerity and openness can’t be over-valued. They give meaning and authenticity to every interaction and questions.
Asking a question, apart from sincerity and openness, is manipulation at best.
Thanks for your story and insights.
This is a great post that help leaders to make the best of their conversations.
The question ” What worked best for you during our conversation? help the leader to know the level of impact that they are adding to the followers or trainee.
After knowing the impact, the leader can plan for the future training effectively, by improving or changing the aproach of the conversation.
This questions are worth studing and understanding if the leader will take the organisation to the next level through well plan human resource utilization.
Hi Dan: I really like your thought: ‘ What if the power of transformation is ignited in questions, not statements?’ I think asking questions is a powerful strategy for everyone in conversation and believe transformation could be created more easily through questions, particularly open curious questions as these provide everyone with the opportunity to better understand each other’s perspectives which leads to clarity, future collaboration, possibility and innovation as well as enhancing and deepening understanding, hence relationships.
Thanks Dan, I have started reading more on leadership when I became a University Professor and found that several of my students and colleagues find me too intimidating. While I am a classroom leader, I am not the leader of my workgroup and am constantly frustrated when the leadership is ineffectual. I have to remind myself that I, also, need to be a good follower, but some of these questions such as “How would you like to move the ball forward?” and “how do you feel you are wasting energy?” might help move our faculty meetings toward productive solutions rather than the whine sessions they seem to turn into.
I can imagine many of these questions being very successful in a sales environment as well.
If you think about it, a leader is working with people to help them see possibilities, make decisions, and take action. A sales consultant is doing the same – helping clients see possibilities, make decisions, and take action. So many leadership (and sales) techniques can work in both environments!
Great stuff!
Really good questions. And, I think a layer of self-reflection might add to these. Really good leaders are looking to improve themselves and their performance through interactions with subordinates or team members, and thus provide subordinates or team members what they need in order to succeed. So, perhaps a few more: “what would you like me to get out of this conversation today?” What would you like from me in order to move the ball forward today?” “What do you think I need to provide more clarity on today?”
Hey Dan,
As you say, leading is really in the questions we ask more than the advice that we give.
As a way to focus the discussion, here is a question similar to a couple of yours that I often use:
What is the most important issue we need to discuss today?
I will try using your questions more in the future!
This is a great one, Dan. In today’s world, it seems everyone is moving so quickly in the name of ‘keeping-up’ and being productive. I find that conversations are shallow and moved-passed quickly. Stopping and asking yourself what you’re really trying to get out of a conversation or really hoping to achieve is such a good pause to have a more valuable interaction. Thinking slow and not being in a hurry to move to the next to-do is powerful!