How to Confront Excuse Makers
Excuses are an attempt to lower expectations.
Excuse makers are explaining why you should accept lackluster performance. It’s dangerous, degrading, and demoralizing.
Excuse makers don’t want you to expect too much from them.
Excuse-making is:
- Disrespect for talent that produces resentment toward others. When you only put half of yourself into something, you disrespect yourself and those around you.
- Lack of enthusiasm, even while feigning commitment.
- Disregard for preparation, diligence, and enthusiasm.
Lack of enthusiasm, when tolerated, becomes apathy in the end.
Answering the top 4 excuses leaders hear:
Answering the “I didn’t have time” excuse:
3 sources of the excuse, “I didn’t have time:”
- They let others run their lives. Kind hearted people overcommit.
- They don’t know how to set priorities.
- They are pretending to be committed.
3 questions for those who didn’t have time:
- Would you like to develop your ability to manage time?
- If you had enough time, what would you have done differently?
- What are you doing that matters less?
Answering the “I’m not ready” excuse:
- What are you ready to do?
- If you were ready, what would be true of you?
- What will doing nothing achieve for you?
Answering the “It’s just the way I am” excuse:
- How are you different from 10 years ago?
- How did you change?
- What does your personal growth tell you about change?
Answering the “I’m afraid I might fail” excuse:
- When have you overcome fear in the past? What did you do?
- How might you apply what you learned to this situation?
- Who might help?
Lack of commitment:
When one excuse follows another, stop addressing excuses. Start exploring commitment.
Try asking, “How committed, on a scale of 1 to 10, are you to this project? How might you take your commitment to the next level?”
Tip: Address lack of commitment by assigning responsibilities to someone who is committed.
How might leaders deal with excuse-makers?
What are some common excuses people make?
Great questions to ask in response to excuses! I have an employee who mentions fear of failure. Next time, I plan to ask about past experiences with overcoming fear. This way she is solving the problem instead of me. Thanks, Dan!
Thanks Elaine. It’s great to have people solve their own challenges. We may actually propagate excuse making when we solve people’s challenges for them.
Just a note. Fear is often answered by creating a safety net. “Who might help?” is one way to get someone on their team. I recall a person who was reluctant to step into a new role. I asked who might help. She identified someone.
I called the ‘helper’ and asked if he might be a go-to person who could step in if things started going sideways. He said yes.
Identifying the helper was enough to answer her excuse.
Interestingly, she never called on their helper. It was just comforting to have someone who was on her team and open to being helpful. Best wishes
Great advise! Thanks, Dan!
While I agree with the first and third excuses as ones that are destructive, I think we need to be careful as labeling the I’m not ready and I’m afraid as I’ll fail as excuses, especially if its coming from a genuine place. I’d rather have someone be that upfront with how they are feeling about a project and a task, than looking for other ways not to confront their concerns. I’ve had employees say those very statements to me, and its always become an opportunity to explain their concerns, provide feedback, and let them know that the entire team is available to help them succeed.
There is a point where those statements do become excuses when they are repeatedly used. At that point, I look to others who are more committed, and also explore the commitment of those providing the excuses.
Thanks John. Your comment helped me realize that I lumped two kinds of excuse together.
There are excuses given after we take on a responsibility and fail. Then there are excuse for not taking on responsibilities. I think our approach should fit the situation.
It seems like you answered the excuses you heard and moved the ball down the field. Congratulations.
The other thing that came to mind is the term excuse definitely has negative baggage. But sometimes people just need encouragement. Other times, a kick in the pants.
When people make excuses for failure, it’s time to have the uncomfortable conversation. When people make excuse to avoid stepping up, it seems like gentleness is more appropriate.
This is an excellent conversation. I liked John’s observations. Sometimes I wonder all such motivational, inspiring gurus, coaches, make people feel that to admit a real feeling of a risk is negative. Is it not a fundamental requirement that a coachee trusts the coach and can reveal his inner, true, genuine feelings? I have faced this situation. I have hidden a feeling only because of the fear that it will be branded as an excuse, and I will get a dressing down or face unnecessary embarrassment.
I agree with Dan’s explanation.
I am finding these discussions very useful.
In the UK, it’s considered that about 80% of staff are unengaged, or actively disengaged in their work. Confronting an individual about their excuses is like emptying the sea with a bucket
The “I’m afraid I might fail” excuse isn’t necessarily an excuse: if you have been hammered more often for trying and failing than you have avoiding taking on the work, it isn’t an excuse, it’s a viable strategy for personal safety. Failing isn’t always viewed positively – remarkable as it may sound, quite a lot of organisations regard failure as a matter for punishment, not a tool for learning.
Thank you for sharing this, this will be a great issue to address! One question: How would you respond to someone with the first problem of “I didn’t have time”, and they identified that they are trying to be too friendly and over-committing.
On Tue, Apr 11, 2017 at 7:14 AM, Leadership Freak wrote:
> Dan Rockwell posted: “Excuses are an attempt to lower expectations. Excuse > makers are explaining why you should accept lackluster performance. It’s > dangerous, degrading, and demoralizing. Excuse-makers don’t want you to > expect too much from them. Excuse-making is: Disres” >
Excuse makers not only hurt themselves, but they prevent others from achieving their goals. Work is so matrix-oriented now one person can have a severe impact on many others. At some point one too many excuses are made, which translates into letting the employee go to make excuses at another employer.
It is also important for the leader to analyze the situation to see if and how they may have contributed to their employees making excuses. For example – when a leader gives an employee too many projects and then expects the employee to treat every project as a top priority, the leader shouldn’t be surprised to see incremental progress and missed deadlines followed by excuses.
Yes, the leader who has seen his team do more and more with less and less, and now believes they can do everything with nothing!
Wow! That is a powerful message! It seems to me that people are afraid of taking a risk and becoming succesful and rather be safe and not maximize their potential. It definitley is not easy to break habits of bad time managemet or addiction to technology…