CANDOR THAT STRENGTHENS RELATIONSHIPS AND DELIVERS RESULTS – Part Two
My habit is to quickly get to a substantive topic, even if I don’t know you. It lets people know that I have meaningful conversations. It’s who I am and what I do.
Set a tone of candor by expressing sincere curiosity. But don’t be pushy.
When you meet someone notice the things they talk about and the way they talk. If they seem passionate, ask about passion. If they seem concerned, ask about their concerns.
Do they address the world from an organizational point of view or personal? Explain what you notice.
Do they seem frustrated? Bring it up.
Are they sensitive to office politics? Mention it.
Practicing candor when relationships are new:
- Compassion is candor’s soulmate. Candor doesn’t need to seem harsh.
- Say what you see when it surprises you.
- Inquire to learn, show respect, and connect.
- Don’t judge, correct, or out do.
- Acknowledge mistakes immediately.
Setting a tone of curious candor – early in relationships – makes it easier to dig into difficult topics later.
How might leaders practice candor early in relationships?
Part one: CANDOR THAT STRENGTHENS RELATIONSHIPS AND DELIVERS RESULTS
Love it……Speaks from reality.
Candor is the backbone of wisdom.
Thanks for the great post.
Candor is a risk worth taking, and it also takes practice to do it with kindness and clarity. It can become a practice, which will deepen the experience of humility; always an important leadership skill.
More sage advice!
Simple and wise!
Really enjoyed this short series. Thanks Dan
Based on actual occurrences, easier for people to connect to. “Practicing candor when relationships are new:” points, practice not only when new but as the relationship builds, develops. Lovely post.
“It must be tough to not be able to pull your weight.”
I think you dodged a bullet there, Dan. I’ve seen people crucified by the human refuse department for much less than this.
As usual – wise advise indeed: Inquire to learn, show respect, and connect. Don’t judge, correct, or out do. Acknowledge mistakes immediately.
Totally agree! It is too difficult to insert candor into a working relationship built on a facade of avoiding tough conversations and keeping everyone happy. Candor does not need to be harsh or critical, it is simply ‘honesty’, and best coupled with humility and compassion for building strong relationships. Thank you!
Candor requires a tremendous amount of thought equity. Quick, reactionary responses in an attempt to be open and honest can be just as damaging if someone is not practiced. Being genuinely concerned about an individual’s professional growth and well being is a great way to avoid wasted time and showmanship. I would suggest that if you look at a department or a business that has people in leadership positions that do not genuinely care about their people, then you will also find a lot of HR activity and/or wasted time on performance conversations.
Love the “Compassion is candor’s soulmate.” Married, an invaluable leadership alliance!