How Humble Leadership Really Works
Humility isn’t:
- Slow and stupid.
- Afraid to acknowledge strengths and talents.
- Passive and weak.
- Easily manipulated.
- Satisfied with mediocrity.
- Disinclined to bring up tough issues.
- Reluctant to act.
3 strengths of humility:
#1. The strength of humility is the ability to serve something bigger than self. Hubris always serves itself even when it appears to serve others.
#2. The strength of humility is honesty. Arrogance lies and misleads to protect image, status, and position.
Humble leaders look you in the eye and speak the truth with kindness.
Self-protection is self-serving.
#3. The strength of humility is openness to learning. Arrogance knows. Humility learns.
Humility benefits from mistakes and failure – arrogance suffers.
4 things to be humble about:
- Accomplishments. You didn’t get here on your own. You aren’t self-made.
- Lessons learned. You’ve learned the most from failure.
- Talent. Gratitude is the only legitimate response to talent.
- Knowledge. There’s always more to learn. There’s always someone who knows something you don’t.
Humility and obsession:
Arrogance obsesses over itself.
Obsess over the concerns of others. Walk around like an undercover agent continually scanning the environment. Look outward.
Humility understands and respects the interests and concerns of others.
Resolve to respond to the concerns and interests of others.
Reject the position of savior on a white horse. Avoid defensiveness. Simply respond with the concerns of others in mind.
“Often company leaders fail to engage their people because they fail to understand what drives the people they lead.” Claudio Feser
Humility and entitlement:
Do people owe you or do you owe people? In other words, do you feel entitled?
Arrogance feels entitled. Humility feels responsible to serve. Are you indebted to others or are others indebted to you?
One of leadership’s great questions is, “What do you owe others?”
What are some misconceptions about humility?
What are some strengths of humility?
Bonus material:
Humble Leadership (Edgar and Peter Schein)
Level 5 Leadership: The Triumph of Humility and Resolve (HBR)
Dan, I have found connecting with individuals on a common ground first has done wonders over the years and building the relationships in an equal fashion tends to keep everyone on an even playing field. The I owe you or you owe me doesn’t seem to develop until we get into the managing that really deflates the relationships, better luck building than tearing down. Share the accolades when available, refrain from a brow beating unless its truly needed, if they have the knowledge, than its poor judgements that tend to falter. It’s when we don’t comply with processes that a bit of “Humble Pie” needs served.
Thanks Tim. The practice of connecting is an important expression of humility.
Great post Dan! Lots to think about. I have always found it easier to “lie in love” (flattery) or speak “truth in hate” (lash out) than to speak the truth in love (build up). Speaking the truth with kindness #2, is simple, it’s just not easy.
That’s the truth Duane. It seems easier to speak the truth in the wrong way than in the right way. Sometimes we wait till we angry to speak up, for example.
“Often company leaders fail to engage their people because they fail to understand what drives the people they lead.” Claudio Feser
That is very apt for the times especially in situations of crisis. There needs to be good lines of communication to enable everyone to pull in the same direction
Well said, Ivan. We might be tempted to communicate less during crisis. But the opposite is necessary.
#2. The strength of humility is honesty. Arrogance lies and misleads to protect image, status, and position. Now that one hits me hard. I value honesty and walking the walk to match ones talk. I abhor “hypocrisy” which to me is dishonesty within oneself. I’ve worked successfully now for 40 yrs focusing on honesty but not everyone believes that approach or works it consistently. Ok I branched out slightly from humbleness to “bitch” but its appropriate to the discussion.
Thanks for your transparency, Roger. It means a lot to me.
Really enjoyed this post Dan – if we are completely honest with ourselves we know that we sometimes deserve a sharp rebuke or scolding for poor performance or a serious mistake, but it is a blessing to have a humble boss who doesn’t shy away from disipline but couches it with empathy and kindness, combined with a plan to learn and move forward in a positive manner.
Nicely said, Tom. Humility equips us to do exactly what you said. Empathy is an expression of humility. Commitment to development is all about humility.
Thanks for posting this reminder, Dan. My goal is to remain humble and when arrogance attempts to peak it’s head up, to remember, humility serves best!
Thanks blessing. I wish you well on the journey.
I love this! Thank you!
One constant reminder I need would be the flip side to #1
“The strength of humility is the ability to serve something bigger than self.”
The reminder I have to wrestle with daily is…
“The strength of humility is the ability to serve something I might think is SMALLER than self.”
Far too often I have convinced myself that “my time is too important”, or “someone else needs to do that” when it comes to those moments of service opportunity. Specifically, those opportunities where I might have judged or perceived something was either beneath me, not important enough for me, or doing something for someone that seems “little or insignificant” to me.
I understand I can’t do everything… delegation is important.
It’s not the WHAT of delegation, but the WHY…
If it’s because I’ve allowed an attitude of self-importance or hubris to creep in, that’s where I have to step back.
Thanks Page. Your comment made my head explode. What a powerful and challenging idea. I think the idea of “bigger than yourself” speaks to a big purpose. However, your comment reminds me of the importance of grabbing small moments of service. Don’t get too big for my breeches!
Sometimes fulfilling a big purpose includes doing “small” things.
Dan-
I’m a believer that I have been the beneficiary of humble leadership, having offers extended my way when I really didn’t meet the criteria on paper or I wasn’t the absolute perfect individual to be part of a team. The humility I’ve been granted from Leaders is seeing something in others that they may not see in themselves. I’m cognizant that I pay-it-forward and truly seek the input without judgment of others. Once you free yourself from the thought that you have to be right, to be perfect every time and to get all of the credit, the end-goal becomes more attainable. By that, I mean seeking the feedback, comments, criticism and ideas from others without your guard up and without an agenda (for me), is truly the best way to improve the process or the output in which you seek.
https://www.yourthoughtpartner.com/blog/20-leadership-blogs-you-should-be-reading?success=true
I have found the best way to lead is by serving the needs of my people. The only way I can do that is through being humble. I have found that this empowers my people and they start doing their jobs with humility and we develop into a community of servants and leaders. I
Great Article! Well-written. It is essential to recognise that people are emotional, not intellectual, beings. Money is a motivator, but if you are respectful and helpful, your people will do miracles for you. How to get the most out of your people is an art that few employers and managers possess. People management skills