4 Ways to Become a Leader with an Open Heart
Leading is a battle when you build walls around your heart. But a leader with an open heart builds supportive relationships.
People in relationship work hard for each other. A team of average players that pulls together will outperform a team of superstars that pulls for themselves.
Lead with an open heart so you can deliver results through relationships.
4 ways to become a leader with an open heart:
#1. Believe you have value.
Leaders with open hearts have confidence in their ability to contribute. Self-protective leaders fear they aren’t enough.
Insecurity strives for superiority.
4 symptoms of striving for superiority:
- Insecurity in others. A leader who needs to feel superior can’t empower others.
- Showcasing your accomplishments.
- Humblebragging. Complaining about something good is humble bragging. “I hate that I was offered this promotion. I just wasn’t ready.” Faking humility causes people to dislike you. (Time)
- Constant complaining. Insecure people feel powerful when they complain. Nothing’s ever good enough for them.
#2. Turn your focus outward instead of inward.
A closed heart sinks inward. An open heart turns toward the world.
It’s normal to think about the impact others have on you. It’s leadership to think about your impact on others.
Develop emotional intelligence.
#3. Think about what you have more than what you don’t have.
You worry about losing what you have when you focus on what you don’t have.
You can’t meet every need, but you can meet some.
Generosity today reflects life tomorrow.
Never let what you can’t do be reason to neglect what you can do.
#4. View your role as one who serves, not one who is served.
Have you been to a resort where drinks arrived before you asked? Being served feels amazing, but a life of being served becomes shallow.
Being served is fun but serving makes you matter.
What closes a leader’s heart?
What does open-hearted leadership look like to you?
“#2. Turn your focus outward instead of inward.” is one of the best lines to remember. Always. The more we focus on ourselves, the more egocentric we become. There’s so much to do out there. Also, even if you feel insecure to lead a team, a project, any group: it matters way less the moment you see: “Here is a job to be done. My insecurity or whatever I feel isn’t that important. Here is something to be done and it’s on me to contribute in the best possible way.” Introspection is valuable every now and then – for learning and development purposes. It should however be in the ~5%-10% time range, so that 90%+ of our time can be spent on the job at hand.
“The more we focus on ourselves, the more ego centric we become.” That is a powerful sentence, Arjan. It captures the idea the the egocentricism feeds on itself.
Humblebragging. Mostly from pretentious folks. Proud people who think they’re doing everyone a favor just being in that leadership position. They speak like that and act all so important, because they feel all the privileges they get over and above others are lesser than what they actually deserve. “You’re lucky to be led by someone like me – just look at me”. I’ve worked under such people, and they can be so irritating. I asked one, “But why then did you accept the position?” The answer was obvious, “So as to keep the company alive – that’s why you’re still here today.” REALLY? Like seriously?
Thanks for your rant, Jim. You captured the essence of humble bragging. “You’re lucky to be led by someone like me.” so good.
Or as Tom Petty sand, “You got lucky, babe, when I found you.”
What closes a leader’s heart?
–negative emotions–anger, bitterness, envy, fear, resentment, etc.
–blaming others and acting like a victim
What does open-hearted leadership look like to you?
–listening to understand what another person is thinking and feeling
–have empathy
–open to ideas other than your own
Concise and insightful. Thanks Paul. I appreciate the connection you make between listening and open-hearted leadership. That’s a concrete way to practice opennness.
Dan, What a great message to start a Monday! These past 20 months have been hard trying to lead a team of public servants. I have found myself wallowing in what I can’t do to support them vs. focusing my energy and passion on what I can. It has left me exhausted. Time to change my focus.
Thanks Ken. I admire your honesty. Frankly, it’s natural to focus on things we can’t do. At least for many people I know. It takes some intention to get from ‘can’t’ to ‘can’. But it’s as simple as, “But, what can we do?” Best wishes.
Dan,
Great viewpoints as always. When we “chose not to Listen” we become cold and callous.
I know we have discussed the art of listening and doing many times, still some basics that get overlooked.
I like the Bosses who have their doors open, which leads me to think they are “open Hearted”, “caring”, “willing to Listen”, and “willing to help”. Granted there are times the doors need to be closed in confintiql moments.
Have a great day.
Thanks Tim. Very practical suggestion. Keep your door open. Or, build an environment that reflects an open heart. Be approachable and accessible.
To learn more about an Outward Mindset and an open heart, check out the work of the Arbinger Institute. While I’ve been involved in training & development of many years, the introduction to these philosophies in the last five have dramatically changed how I work, coach, lead, parent and husband.
Hello, Can you please unsubscribe me. I have tried several times using the function below but the emails keep showing up. Thank you. Howie
Sorry for the difficulty, Howie. I did a search for your email address on the subscriber list. It didn’t show up. Hopefully, you succeeded. Cheers