Things that Ruin Leaders
Losing yourself and finding yourself ruins leaders.
Most of us are still finding ourselves. We live to please our parents, teachers, bosses, lovers, and friends. It’s healthy to please others but devastating to judge ourselves by the approval we receive.
Living to please others is unsustainable and never satisfying.
You corrupt your unique contribution when you dilute yourself.
Finding yourself is more sinister than losing yourself because it’s done intentionally. We lose ourselves by neglect. We find ourselves – or think we find ourselves – using premeditated methods. I find the more I think about myself, the more self-centered I become.
Self-reflection is useful only as a tool to expand contribution. Self-reflection is a method, not an end. It should be done in small doses. Spend time journaling, for example. But whatever you do, get busy serving.
Anything you do that makes you self-centered destroys you.
Self-reflection is delusion when it makes you the center of the universe. You’re a speck, not the center.
Self-reflection that produces humility lifts you.
Past successes and future dreams ruin leaders.
Get over your successes. Move on.
It’s tragic to lose your life by pining for something that doesn’t exist.
Pining is insulting. Who cares if you had a more talented team 10 years ago? Comparing today to coddled memories makes you miserable and insults everyone around you.
Future dreams pollute the present more than past successes.
An unlived life is a destructive fantasy until you get busy creating it.
The ultimate question is, “How are you contributing today?” Forget about past successes. Glance at your dreams. Dig deep into making a difference now.
Anything that dilutes your best contribution is destructive, even if it’s a good thing.
What ruins leaders?
What expands leaders?
I wholeheartedly disagree.
Self-Reflection is part of growth and its required for development of EQ as well as eliminating bad things in your life. And before you can actually grow to properly pour into others you need to 360 know yourself
Reflection leads to growth and if you really want to grow you need to spend time reflecting (decisions, actions, interactions).
You do bring up a good point though, reflection for growth should always involve how you affect others but it should also be about you.
Thanks for your comment. You seem to say the same thing I said. Unless self-reflection leads to something it’s not useful. It’s not an end in itself.
Your specific application of self-reflection to growth is right on. Growth requires self-reflection and self-awareness.
What expands leaders?
–Openness
–Curiosity
–Travel
–New experiences and interactions
–Reading your blog and other articles, books etc.
–Trying new approaches
What ruins leaders?
–When they stop learning and growing (and expanding)
Thanks Paul. “Trying new approaches” really speaks to me. I get into patterns that are difficult to change.
“The past is always picturesque. Distance lends enchantment, for it covers the greasy spots on his Majesty’s plumed hat with a charitable layer of dust.” (Van Loon, The Story of America).
Thanks Jennifer. The word ‘enchantment’ really sings.
Sell-reflection can only take you so far, if you can’t (or won’t) see the greasy spots because you are so enchanted with the plumed hat. Our past glories are in the past. They can guide towards the next glory only if we learn the right lesson.
What ruins leaders? To me it seems they get so engrossed with themselves they forget how they arrived were they are at. When Leaders hide behind closed doors and seldom come out. Have an open door policy and see those who drive the show.
What expands leaders?
When they continually educate themselves and take on new challenges with the gusto to make a difference. We can live on what we have done, we must always try to do better. Just okay is not always the best approach. When we do our best then we can’t expect anymore. Our best is the culmination of all the successes and continue to grow. There is always another step to climb if you wish to continue.