I encounter people who think it’s someone else’s job, perhaps my job as a leader, to make them happy. You may have also seen this same expectation of a spouse, a friend, or a parent. Some people expect other people to make them happy.
Happiness is a much more personal subject than something I can or care to control for someone else. I have enough trouble dealing with the issue personally.
The fact is, as a leader, I need to create an environment where:
- If they love the vision…
- If they can respect my leadership…
- If they are willing to work responsibly…
- If they are generally healthy individuals…
They can be happy.
But their personal happiness is out of my direct control.
I want people to be happy, but I can’t make them happy.
Here’s my advice, seek your happiness in the contentment you find in your relationship with Jesus Christ. Count your blessings…name them one by one. Find happiness in the simplest times of life. Choose happiness as a desired emotion. Put on a happy face! You have far more control over that in your life than I do.
Have you been expecting someone to make you happy? Is that a realistic expectation?
“My job (as pastor) is not to solve people’s problems or make them happy, but to help them see the grace operating in their lives. It’s hard to do, because our whole culture is going the other direction, saying that if you’re smart enough and get the right kind of help, you can solve all your problems. The truth is, there aren’t very many happy people in the Bible. But there are people who are experiencing joy, peace, and the meaning of Christ’s suffering in their lives.” Eugene Peterson (from Rodney Clapp’s Introduction to The Contemplative Pastor p.13)
Good thoughts.
I think happiness is right inside of us. It is not hidden any where outside. Those who search outside get into undesirable addictions and bondages. Our happiness is not embedded in this worldly pleasures. Our happiness is eternal and Jesus had already freed us from the tyranny of worldly pain and suffering.
Good word
Twitter: Derwinlgray
says:
Ron,
Great insight.
As you wisely pointed out our happiness flows from our identity in Christ.
Pastor Derwin
Good word! Though we are called to value relationship and cultivate a culture of honor in the life and ministry of the church, we are not called to make people happy. Rather, we ARE called to make people disciples of Christ. Sometimes picking up your cross and following after Him isn't a "happy day" experience.
You are right about that. Thanks!
The process of Christian leadership has taught me that I need to make Christ happy and when I do there will be those who are happy and those who do not get it at all but I still need to be plugging away. Excellent thoughts Ron.
Thanks! If we lift up Christ He will draw others to Him!
Twitter: bryankr
says:
I can honestly say that I have found happiness and contentment outside the Church. I have a good workout regimine, personal relationships, etc. The problem I find is the leadership in the Church is always seeking the approval and happiness of a few in the Church. I find myself working harder all the time just to support what is there! Discpleship has even been sacrificed to placate those few who would rather do something “else”.it’s not happiness I seek, it’s room to grow and teach someone else the same thing.