How to Ignite Fire in Others
We spent time on the Maine coast in a rustic cabin this summer. Even though it was July, one morning was cool enough to start a fire.
Actually, I attempted to start a fire.
The Boy Scouts taught me how to start a fire with one match, but unpracticed skills grow dull. Maybe I still have the skill but lost patience. In any case, I got on my hands and knees and worked at starting the fire.
It flared up and so did I. But experienced fire starters know baby flames flare out. I blew until I was blue and finally gave up.
In the end, I contented myself with the rustic feel of a smoke filled cabin. It wasn’t that cold anyway.
I headed to the shower – half the man I used to be. Ten minutes later my bride shouted, “Guess what?”
I thought a deer crossed the yard. “We have a fire!”
Dripping water, I peeked around the corner. Sure enough, I am a manly man.
Fire starting principles:
Fire building takes preparation.
Don’t expect people to catch fire the first time you mention your brilliant idea. Surprisingly, some people are skeptical.
You think you’re brilliant. They’re wondering how it will change their lives.
The brilliant ideas you have usually change someone else’s life, not yours.
Ask yourself, “How does my brilliant idea make life better for OTHERS?”
Fire building takes patience.
The people who flame up first, often flare out fast. Early adopters grow bored, complain, and throw water on the fire. The people who love you quickly haven’t known you long enough.
- Slow adopters stick. Quick adopters quit.
- Give people time to warm to your idea.
- Seek input. Discuss pros and cons.
- Adapt without loosing the essence.
- Try your brilliant idea in small ways.
What does it take to ignite energy in others?
To ignite the spark in other—
Remove the clutter–the negative self talk, the focus on obstacles, the list of 28 priorities–and focus on the one thing that he/she wants to do, to make a positive impact in the world.
Thanks Paul. I respect brevity and clarity. You achieved it. For me, “remove the focus on obstacles,” is essential. It’s easy to talk yourself out of something you should do.
Perfect timing, Dan! Literally in the process of selfpublishing my next children’s book and your story made me realize my focus for 3 days has been totally on the Amazon/Facebook/Twitter expectations instead of the kids.
Gaaaa!
Thank you for the reality check!
John
Thanks Finnegan! Best wishes with the book. I hope it makes a difference in the lives of children AND parents. 🙂
Dan;
Your humility, honesty, and insight are why I read your post! I think another way to phrase what you are conveying is “start small and build big.” It’s always easier to add fuel to a fire that is already going than to keep trying to start the same fire – and I’m speaking both physically (a real fire) and metaphorically (adding to the fire of people). Keep up the great insights!
Bill
Thanks Bill. You spoke to me. “It’s easier to add fuel to the fire that is already going.” don’t neglect the believers on your team. It’s easy to focus on nay-sayers.
Geez Dan, I no longer feel alone on Fire starting, we had the same Teachers so to speak!
Dry Tinder was always the lesson with good draft!
I like your insight to give a little and let them grow!
Thanks Tim. I was so surprised when the fire ignited “on it’s own.” I guess I’m pretty skilled. 🙂
Sometimes we don’t always see the fire – small ember – that is ignited…like in a child that has observed a quality in something we’ve said or done…that gradually takes form in the way of their own passion, or fire, that goes on to accomplish much – and even too in adult group projects. Thank you for that insight -it encourages patience in my own efforts to make or be a difference maker.
Sometimes we don’t always see the fire – small ember – that is ignited…like in a child that has observed a quality in something we’ve said or done…that gradually takes form in the way of their own passion, or fire, that goes on to accomplish much – and even too in adult group projects. Thank you for that insight -it encourages patience in my own efforts to make or be a difference maker.
The way you told the story, I actually thought it was your wife who had come in after you and made things happen with the fire!! There could be a whole other line of takeaways from that. Either way, good wisdom and insights as always.
Thanks Christopher. Your insight is so true. Maybe you’re a starter and someone else takes over.
Try your brilliant idea in small ways. Most important in my view. Change of any form is difficult for most people to accept or engage and “drastic” change is the hardest. Think of it this way. Say your goal is to accomplish something in five years. Break that accomplishment and actions down to steps to achieve not one sweeping change on day one. Then everyone (including your self) can adjust as the change route is rolled out. I have found if you make the attempt in this manner the change actually will occur long before the five years because other stakeholders are engaged in the change in an incremental manner allowing them to adapt and implement and feel involved.
Thanks Roger. You might hear someone say, “I want to be President of the company.” Well, lets start with doing your current job with excellence AND taking on a few new responsibilities. Use the big goal to set your course and then focus on today.
I suppose the problem is incremental change isn’t dramatic.
I’ve been guilty of, and encountered people who where also guilty of the idea of being in love with starting a fire… any fire… they didn’t really care what it was. I think it’s critical that your “fire” is truly authentic, a genuine passion that you’re not only committed to, but that you’re gifted/skilled in starting, fanning and sharing with others.
And bring Smores… every fire is better with Smores…
Thanks Page. The message I made from your smore comment is, Lighten UP and have some fun.
Lets face it. It’s easier to influence happy people than it is to pressure sad people.
Sometimes you can put all that effort in and get nothing. Sometimes you just need a fire starter and some matches.
🙂 … thanks Zac. Maybe delegate the job?
Glad to know you got your fire to start. I know how it can be even in the summer months in Maine. Were you the quick adopter in this situation, as you quickly accepted your ability to light a fire because of your past experiences with scouting? I think if we look at it from that perspective then your wife was the slow adopter, she held out, she waited by the fire place, she believed in you. You gave up early and went take a shower, your wife was there to see the fire blossom…you weren’t. This is similar to the point I think you were trying to make, which is why it is a good anecdote. Igniting fires ties into sustainable performance; how you’ve distinguished between an initial excitement versus a long-term investment is really the most basic and simplistic way anyone should ever have to look at it. Many studies have found that happy employees, in the long run, will return greater results. Happiness in the workplace is something that needs to be sparked, and the question is, “by whom?” It’s a common concept that one’s own happiness is reliant upon only himself, his own self-esteem, and how he deals with his environment. However, to maintain a work environment that houses happy employees there must be a leadership aspect to it that ignites that fire behind them. It is not that the job makes them happy, it is that the job attracts happy employees (i.e. those who believe and are willing to stick around to invest in their own happiness and how it can positively affect the organization).