The Recovering Engineer

NOVEMBER 24, 2014

I can, however, identify several definitively wrong ways to do it. In today’s post, I’m going to share three communication strategies that are virtually guaranteed to irritate other people, and I’ll tell you what to do instead. I do not advocate taking the approach to the extreme of rude and aggressive communication. Here’s why.

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Strategy Definition Workshop Tactics 226

The Recovering Engineer

FEBRUARY 4, 2010

The thought behind much (not all) of what I was asked in my role as seminar leader and expert panelist basically reduced to this: How do I get people to do what I want them to do. People do what they want to do and not what you want them to do. You can do some things to improve your communication skills.

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How To Engineering FAQ Cooper 218

The Recovering Engineer

JUNE 13, 2011

Your mess might by physical, like the one in my home this morning, or more intangible, like a long to-do list or a hectic project schedule. In either case, learn to embrace the temporary disarray, disorganization, and messiness because of the growth and progress it represents. The mess felt a bit overwhelming and out of control.

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Seminar Short-term Long-term Stress 271

The Recovering Engineer

NOVEMBER 2, 2010

Effective Communication: What DO You Want? In this post, Kevin makes a great point we can all learn from the campaign process that those of us in the United States have been watching for the last few weeks. The second, and more powerful statement, says what you DO want. Learn More… What Do You Think? .

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Engineering FAQ Emotional Intelligence Self-aware 200

The Recovering Engineer

NOVEMBER 4, 2011

In working with workshop participants and coaching clients to find good ways to address specific, emotionally charged situations, I have learned three power phrases your can use in a wide range of situations to disarm a verbal aggressor and turn the direction of an escalating conversation. Of course I am.

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Power Workshop Learning-by-Doing Tips 279

The Recovering Engineer

FEBRUARY 3, 2011

This is all part of the work I’m doing for the launch of the book I co-authored with Kevin Eikenberry – From Bud to Boss: Secrets to a Successful Transition to Remarkable Leadership. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Learn More… What Do You Think?

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FAQ Engineering Emotional Intelligence Self-aware 216

The Recovering Engineer

OCTOBER 6, 2010

Here are three things you can do in virtually any conflict situation to improve the outcome. You can forgive simply because you chose to do so. And you can do it without holding it over the other person. I don’t propose that these actions are necessarily easy to do when emotions are high and the conflict is escalating.

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Engineering FAQ Self-aware Emotional Intelligence 245

The Recovering Engineer

JUNE 3, 2010

Whatever it was, you told yourself that you wouldn’t do something that you either normally do, wanted to do, or habitually do, and you eventually “gave-in&# to the temptation. So, what does this observation have to do with this blog? So, what do we do with this observation?

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FAQ Self-aware Emotional Intelligence Engineering 235

The Recovering Engineer

DECEMBER 14, 2010

How Much Margin Do You Have? I learned of the accident that took her life late on Thursday night and the funeral was on Saturday. While I was in the Navy and learning to become an Engineering Officer, I learned about the specific margins that were built into both the submarine and the engineering plant to ensure safe operation.

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Engineering Self-aware Emotional Intelligence Chemicals 169

The Recovering Engineer

SEPTEMBER 23, 2010

Leaders who learn work in ways that fulfill employee needs will get better results than those who do not. It falls short of a statistically valid study, and still it is highly instructive for leaders who want to learn. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively.

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Engineering FAQ Video Self-aware 199

The Recovering Engineer

MARCH 2, 2010

Since this blog is about getting over yourself and learning to take a critical look at how your own behaviors might contribute to the communication, conflict, and relationship problems you face in life; I have to come clean. I am guilty of this behavior on occasion, and I hate it when I do it as much as I hate to see others do it.

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Engineering FAQ Self-aware Video 265

The Recovering Engineer

AUGUST 28, 2013

Rule eight is: Stressed brains don’t learn the same way. People under stress do not learn information, develop new skills, create ideas, or find solutions to problems as well as people who are not under stress. To deal with creative block, you can do the same thing: First, do something to address the stress.

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Creativity Stress Learning-by-Doing Mentor 135

The Recovering Engineer

OCTOBER 29, 2010

It’s fun and easy to do. Hopefully, you see that I advocate doing exactly the opposite of what I have written here.) He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Learn More… What Do You Think? . Learn More… What Do You Think? Never show again.

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Stress FAQ Emotional Intelligence Self-aware 263

The Recovering Engineer

JULY 18, 2010

As we talked through his options, we came to a logical conclusion about what he should do next. I said: “How much money do you have?” I asked, how much do you have?” What if, instead of holding back my initial thought, I had said what was in my mind: “…how much do you have?&# (With the accompanying sarcastic tone.)

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Engineering Tips FAQ Video 277

The Recovering Engineer

MAY 15, 2010

In reflecting on the situations, I recall some things I learned as a practicing engineer. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. I do agree with you that if we are too reactive with people whom we are angry with definitely creates another trouble.

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FAQ Engineering Video Self-aware 223

The Recovering Engineer

JULY 10, 2018

The question I would ask in response is: While you can do that, why would you? You can do that, and doing so only fools you. My advice is: DON'T DO IT! And, the assessment is not useful for predicting your ability to do a particular job or task. Your DISC style might indicate what work environments you prefer.

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Self-aware Environment Learning-by-Doing Team Building 100

The Recovering Engineer

JUNE 21, 2010

I am suggesting that people with this trait commit themselves to learning the skills of assertive communication. While these strategies are sometimes useful and necessary, I recommend learning to use them intentionally when appropriate rather than as a default because they are more comfortable. Reply What Do You Think?

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Engineering FAQ Emotional Intelligence Self-aware 230

The Recovering Engineer

JULY 23, 2010

Basically, this means that when they cannot directly address something that is irritating them, they just might express their aggression in a different direction against another animal or a person who had nothing to do with their initial frustration. I didn’t do any of the things that stressed him. He sleeps on the steps.

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Emotional Intelligence Stress Engineering Self-aware 249

The Recovering Engineer

JANUARY 21, 2010

When you do, remember to acknowledge, address, and understand the emotional component of change in your comunications. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Reply What Do You Think? Photo based on work by Rennet Stowe. Tell me what youre thinking.

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FAQ Emotional Intelligence Engineering Self-aware 188

The Recovering Engineer

MARCH 12, 2010

In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas of their lives and in many situations. The model I learned, and eventually studied to the point of becoming a master trainer, is the DISC model of human behavior. Divide a circle in half horizontally.

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FAQ Hammer Engineering Tools 230

The Recovering Engineer

NOVEMBER 8, 2010

Related posts: Two Great Learning Opportunities for Aspiring Leaders Tags: book recommendations , employee performance , recognition Guy Harris describes himself as a recovering engineer. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Learn More… What Do You Think?

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Books FAQ Engineering Emotional Intelligence 185

The Recovering Engineer

MAY 8, 2013

If you have no intention of causing the other person harm (either physically or emotionally) and they perceive that you do intend to harm them, your real intentions do not matter. To become a master of conflict resolution, you need to learn more than a basket of tips, techniques, strategies, and phrases.

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Strategy Emotional Intelligence Self-aware Tips 199

The Recovering Engineer

APRIL 19, 2010

These situations caused me to reflect on what happens in conflict: How it gets started, How it escalates, and What you can do to de-escalate it. Here’s what I mean, you know what you should do in a given situation, the situation occurs, and then you do exactly the opposite of what you knew to do.

Engineering 223

Engineering Video Self-aware FAQ 223

The Recovering Engineer

MAY 24, 2010

When we offer people suggestions, solutions, and opinions before we have heard them out, they often do not care what we have to say. If he had jumped on the numbness in my foot without digging further into my other symptoms, he could have prescribed a wonderful treatment for a problem that had nothing to do with my problem.

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Engineering FAQ Self-aware Video 230

The Recovering Engineer

APRIL 23, 2010

For example, you can question whether or not they actually intend to be a threat to you by re-framing your internal dialogue this way: “Do they mean to harm me in some way, or did I just misunderstand?&# “Are they really on the attack, or are they just tired and having a bad moment? Photo credit: [link] / CC BY 2.0

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Engineering Self-aware FAQ Video 218

The Recovering Engineer

JULY 2, 2010

You have to go more slowly than you do in other situations. In the first few moments of a conflict situation, many of us (close to all of us) are prone to say and/or do things that make the conflict worse. We do not act as calmly and rationally as we do at other times. Reply What Do You Think? Photo by tonystl.

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Power Emotional Intelligence Engineering Self-aware 230

The Recovering Engineer

MAY 10, 2010

Look them in the eye and speak-up — they seldom have patience for people who do not have confidence. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Reply What Do You Think? Focus on results and outcomes — process and feelings are less important to them than results.

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Tips Engineering FAQ Emotional Intelligence 277

The Recovering Engineer

FEBRUARY 2, 2011

He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Learn More… Comments 3 Responses to “My Interview With Mike Phillips on Lead the Team&# Mike Phillips says: February 2, 2011 at 11:16 pm Great talk Guy! . I’m sure the book will do great, it’s AWESOME!

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Team Engineering FAQ Emotional Intelligence 186

The Recovering Engineer

NOVEMBER 25, 2013

As I began working to develop better collaborative problem solving skills, I read How to Make Collaboration Work by David Straus, and I learned an approach for reaching better group decisions. How do you define the problem? What CAN You Do? Straus’ basic premise is that collaboration follows six predictable steps or stages.

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Succession Brainstorming Workshop Skills 221

The Recovering Engineer

MAY 11, 2010

Ask about them, their family, and their friends — they tend to connect on a personal level before they are concerned with doing business, they want to know that you care about them. He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. I learned new stuffs. Reply What Do You Think?

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Tips Emotional Intelligence Engineering FAQ 225

The Recovering Engineer

JULY 20, 2010

Or, stated another way: Do they speak more quickly, loudly and emphatically or more slowly, softly and monotone?, and Do they speak in more factual, “thinking&# language or in a more relational, “feeling&# language? He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively.

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FAQ Skills How To Engineering 240

The Recovering Engineer

JUNE 7, 2010

The conversation stimulated my thinking about what NOT to do in conflict resolution. Sometimes, knowing what NOT to do can be as helpful as knowing what TO do. They do not want to be involved in an emotionally charged discussion for very long. Do apologize for anything that you did to contribute to the conflict.

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Engineering Self-aware Video FAQ 270

The Recovering Engineer

FEBRUARY 16, 2010

Did you just learn that you need to invest money you don’t have to repair your car? He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Learn More… What Do You Think? That makes some intuitive sense related to the short-term impact on our decision making.

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Emotional Intelligence Self-aware Short-term Engineering 210

The Recovering Engineer

FEBRUARY 1, 2010

How do you get in your own way? Do you speak too directly? Do you laugh when you should be focused? Do you avoid when you should confront? He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Later, as I reflected on the event, I started getting really irritated.

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Skills Development Engineering FAQ 235

The Recovering Engineer

DECEMBER 11, 2010

I sat in a chair and held her for the better part of 3 or 4 hours even though I had homework to do. When I spoke with my friend on Thursday, I learned that Krystal still had that toy box in her home. I was in Raleigh to do a workshop. I’ll likely be in Raleigh next summer to do another workshop.

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Engineering FAQ Video Workshop 166

The Recovering Engineer

MARCH 18, 2010

She has embodied what this blog is all about: learning to get over your ego, fears, self-consciousness, and self-protective behaviors to do what needs to be done to have healthy, productive relationships in all areas of your life. Related posts: Effective Communication: What DO You Want? Photo credit: [link] / CC BY 2.0

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Engineering Self-aware Video FAQ 210

The Recovering Engineer

OCTOBER 11, 2010

He has spent many years learning to connect and communicate with other people more effectively. Learn More… What Do You Think? . Learn More… What Do You Think? In fact some conflict can actually be good. The difference is whether the conflict is constructive or destructive. It is likely to turn out well.

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Construction FAQ Engineering How To 236