It’s Better to Hang Out with People Better than You
Warren Buffett said, “It’s better to hang out with people better than you.”
Arrogance is the reason you’re less than you could be.
Would you choose to go to dinner every Friday night with 20 local people who are richer, smarter, prettier, and more respected than you? Or would you prefer being at the top of the heap?
Arrogance needs to feel superior, so it huddles with inferiors.
Arrogance:
#1. Arrogance dislikes.
Everywhere arrogance looks, it sees people it doesn’t like. It’s hard to like people and look down on them at the same time.
#2. Arrogance finds fault.
Arrogance pushes others down to feed its need to feel superior. Faults in others allow you to dislike them. It’s hard to learn from people you dislike.
Learning is the advantage of humility. Accusation is the protective barrier of arrogance that justifies ignorance.
#3. Arrogance compares.
Arrogance sees weakness in others and strength in self. Arrogance needs to come out on top when it compares itself with others.
The difference between arrogance and humility is honest judgment.
Arrogance compares itself with others and comes out on top. But humility compares itself with aspiration and finds room to grow.
Envy prevents you from learning from people who are better than you.
Humility:
Think of humility as a practice. If you practiced humility for a day, what might you do?
7 practices of humility:
- Stop out-doing and let others shine. Compliment. Encourage.
- Express disconfirming ideas even if it’s risky. Confront hard issues.
- Say, “Wow! I never thought of that.”
- Try something and fear failure less. Arrogance laughs when you fear failure.
- Relax, listen, and explore.
- Enjoy and like people.
- Show up to learn. Before you go home today, write down something you learned and how you will practice it tomorrow.
What does arrogance do?
If you practiced humility for a day, what might you do?
Dear Dan,
Liked the title of your post and the contents.
Keeping the company of people higher in age, knowledge & social status give you a scope to learn on new and better things.It certainly brings down any arrogance in you for the skills and strengths that you possess if you are sharp in your observation and careful in your talks. You need to have an open mind while accepting the fact that you are not the best or perfect.
Humility is yet an another good way to progress in life and remain happy in the company of others. An essential trait for a leader to win the confidence of others while taking them along to achieve goals of common interest.
You have actually shown the way the happy and contented life can be lived in the family, community and society in general. Thanks for your hidden agenda of pushing successful persons to a spiritual wisdom.
Thank you Dr. Asher. Reading your comment expanded my approach to this topic. In particular, humility helps us win the confidence of others. This idea helps elevate humility above self-doubt and insecurity. Cheers.
You might also add the concept of Trust inside of the conversation on Humility. If one cannot be honest in expressing their own strengths and weaknesses, how can they help others be better?
Great post, Dan!
Something I’ve been trying to do, not really related to this, is simply listen to and appreciate the opinions of others with out stating my view point on their opinion. For example, if they said that they love this certain restaurant and I too had been there but had hated it, instead of saying, “Ew no that place is gross” simply appreciating the conversation and being happy that they liked a certain thing. I guess this can tie into humility in the sense that my opinion doesn’t always need to be known (most of the time it probably isn’t lol).
Thanks Josh. Great insight. It’s also challenging. I’ve taken on the challenge of listening without judging or sharing my opinion. It’s one of my toughest challenges. Humility can turn it’s attention to another without the need to focus on itself.
Dan great subject. Two thoughts. In sports like tennis there is a phrase that you can play down to the level of your opponent. In business negotiations I found you are much better off dealing with someone at or above your level than someone much less skilled.
Brad
Brad James, The Business Zoo
Wow! That’s a great insight. The best people bring out our best.
This is excellent. As the Bible says, do not think more highly of yourself than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment. Put the needs and concerns of others before yourself. So often this is difficult. Thank you for starting my Monday with a challenge for the week!
THIS IS AN AWESOME POST! THANK YOU!
I couldn’t care less where I am on the heap. Are the people I’m spending time with fun, interesting and decent? Then they’re worth spending time with. On the other hand you would have to pay me hugely to spend five minutes with somebody like Steve Jobs, and to get me to spend an evening with 20 like him would wear a deep hole in even Warren Buffett’s billfold
Arrogance shuts out new possibilities/experiences. It blinds one from seeing new opportunity to learn and grow from others and situations.