The Recovering Engineer

Can work and home DISC styles be different?

The Recovering Engineer

One of the questions that Kevin and I get asked frequently is, “Can I have a different style at work than I have at home?” ” The answer is a qualified yes, and it gets to the idea of having a natural style compared to an environmental style.

Does Your Personality Style Change Over Time?

The Recovering Engineer

After taking a DISC assessment , people frequently wonder if their style can change over time. The question shows up in two common ways: I think I was more reserved (or outgoing) when I was a kid, and now I'm not. Could my adult style be different from my style when I was a kid?

The DISC Test is an Assessment, It’s not a Test

The Recovering Engineer

When I hear people talk about the DISC Assessment, I often hear them say things like: “Hey, how'd you come out on that test?” ” I really don't like that type of reference to the DISC model.

Why you should never try to beat or fool the DISC Assessment

The Recovering Engineer

One question I often get when I'm discussing use of the DISC assessment and profile report is this: “Can you fool (or beat) the DISC assessment?” ” The short answer to that question is: Yes, you can “beat” the DISC assessment.

Emotions are the Greatest Barrier to Change

The Recovering Engineer

I often say that facts dictate the need for change and emotions create the barrier to it.

Five Ways to De-escalate a Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

Reversing the course of an escalating conflict is a topic that surfaces frequently in my work with coaching clients and workshop participants. I have received emails, blog comments, and twitter requests for help with this topic.

What a Diverted United Airlines Flight Can Teach You about Conflict Resolution

The Recovering Engineer

Shock and dismay are the best words I can use to describe my initial response to the news that a United Airlines flight from Newark to Denver had been diverted to Chicago due to a dispute between passengers over leg room.

The Two Sides of Trust

The Recovering Engineer

Like so many words we use commonly, trust has many layers of meaning. While most of us have similar general perspectives about what it means to trust another person, there are some subtle differences in how we view this simple word.

Five Common Responses to Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

In my work with clients of all kinds, I have noticed five basic types of response to conflict. I see people who are… Conflict Rock Stars. Conflict Rock Stars are almost always in control of their responses. They know how to communicate calmly and assertively in nearly every situation.

Get Comfortable With Mistakes

The Recovering Engineer

One day a few years ago, my daughter and I had to drive about thirty miles on county roads through rural Indiana. Snow was not falling on the day we made this drive. However, there was plenty of snow in the fields on either side of the roads and the wind was blowing.

Three Ways to Deal with an Angry Person

The Recovering Engineer

How do you like dealing with an angry person? If you’re like most of the people I know, you hate it. And, you occasionally have to do it.

Six Questions to Ask for Successful Collaboration

The Recovering Engineer

The biggest problem with collaborative problem solving is the collaborative part. Many new leaders became leaders because they know how to get things done.

Three Power Phrases to Disarm a Verbal Aggressor

The Recovering Engineer

When you feel that you have been verbally attacked, it is incredibly difficult to think of the right words to calm the situation and disarm a verbal aggressor.

Power 285

The Difference Between Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication

The Recovering Engineer

Communication breakdowns are a common cause for conflict, and poor communication strategies can lead to rapid escalation. Likewise, effective communication strategies can help you correct these miscommunications to move conflicts quickly towards resolution.

Data Tells and Stories Sell

The Recovering Engineer

Early in my career, I worked in the plastics industry as a process and product development engineer. At the time, I had a degree in chemical engineering, and I had just completed service as a nuclear engineering officer in the U.S. Navy.

Six Questions to Make Sure You Have Communicated Effectively

The Recovering Engineer

The communication process really should be easy. You say something to another person. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. And, it’s not quite that easy.

You Have to Have a Goal to Achieve a Goal

The Recovering Engineer

One January day about thirteen years ago, I stepped on the scales in my bathroom, and I did not like the feedback I received. I was at the highest weight I had ever been in my life. My clothes were starting to get a bit tight, and I was feeling uncomfortable in them.

Goal 191

People are a Package Deal

The Recovering Engineer

Nearly everyone irritates me to some extent. Even the people close to me — my wife, my kids, my friends, and my professional colleagues — irritate me from time to time.

Using Apology to De-escalate a Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

Apology is a powerful — and often under used — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits fault for the conflict or reveals a weakness.

Tools 225

Five Questions to Make Sure that You Understand Others Correctly

The Recovering Engineer

Have you ever taken an action – either immediately or at some later time – based on what you heard someone say only to find out after you acted (or spoke) that you did not accurately understand their statement or request?

Shaw 268

Four Ways to Improve Your Communication

The Recovering Engineer

If you want to become more effective as a leader, more successful in meetings, or more confident while resolving conflicts, become a better communicator.

Shaw 260

Learning to Embrace Messiness

The Recovering Engineer

Sometimes, life gets messy — as shown by the picture of the living area in my home this morning. When I first walked through this area on my way to get a cup of coffee and some breakfast, I felt a bit stressed. My family was still asleep, and I had a full day of work planned in my home office.

Three Clues You Can Use to Find What Motivates Another Person

The Recovering Engineer

Two questions I often get in workshops, from coaching clients, and in consulting engagements is: How do I work with an unmotivated person? How do I motivate someone to work harder? Here are the quick answers: There is no such thing as an unmotivated person. Everyone is motivated to do something.

Conflict De-escalation Strategies: Control Your Tone and Body Language

The Recovering Engineer

The perception of threat is the primary cause for conflict escalation. The most important word in the previous sentence is perception.

A Simple Model for Understanding What Drives Behavior

The Recovering Engineer

The diagram above shows a simplified model for better understanding what drives behavior. Since people often spend their lives studying and understanding what really drives our behavior, I am pretty confident that I cannot hope to fully cover the topic in this short post.

FAQ 277

A Collection of Conflict Resolution Quotes

The Recovering Engineer

I love quotes. They often capture big concepts in only a few words. They give me “thought anchors” to help me collect and focus my thoughts. This is a quick video I put together to capture some great conflict resolution quotes that help and inspire me.

Listening as a Tool to De-escalate Conflicts

The Recovering Engineer

Recently, I read this statement: “They keep yelling at me that I’m not listening.” ” I would love to give credit to the person who said it, but I’ve lost the source. I think I saw it as a tweet in my twitter stream. I’m just not sure of that.

Tools 219

Assume Benign Intent

The Recovering Engineer

My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward.

Applying the DISC Model: Breaking Through A Common Frustration

The Recovering Engineer

Today, I led a DISC communication skills workshop that ended with a role-play exercise to allow participants the opportunity to practice the skills we had been discussing.

FAQ 262

The Leadership Secret to Getting More Done

The Recovering Engineer

One of the things I notice as I work with new leaders is a tendency to accept work practices and processes as fixed entities. In some cases, company procedures, processes and work practices are mandated from a level far removed from the front-line supervisor, and they are relatively fixed.

You Cannot Sell What You Do Not Own

The Recovering Engineer

One day John, a newly promoted supervisor with Fictional Products, met with his boss, Bill, to discuss a new procedure recently mandated by a change to company policy. John was not happy with the change because he knew that his team would not like it.

Morale 199

Employee Motivation: Compliance or Commitment?

The Recovering Engineer

Whether you are trying to resolve a conflict, coach an employee, or correct your child’s behavior; you have to wrestle with your real goals. You have to ask yourself, “Do I want compliance or commitment?&#.

Seven Reasons to Develop Conflict Confidence

The Recovering Engineer

At one time, I thought I taught conflict resolution. Over time, I have come to realize that I don’t really teach conflict resolution as much as I teach conflict confidence. To resolve a conflict, you need the other person’s cooperation.

Task-Oriented vs People-Oriented: A Common Source of Conflict.

The Recovering Engineer

The difference between task-oriented people and people-oriented people can often be the source of conflicts

FAQ 283

Using the DISC Model: How to Create Stress for Other People | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

If you really want to stress someone out, just use these tactics in your communications with them

Stress 272

Three Things to Consider Before You Start Writing

The Recovering Engineer

Ignore these critical considerations when you write, and you could invite a communication disaster. Written messages just might be the most dangerous form of communication. There are so many ways that they can go wrong and lead to miscommunication.

Letter 239

Employee Motivation Tips: The Why Matters

The Recovering Engineer

There are two musical instruments I would like to play. One is the saxophone and the other is the guitar. When I was in the fifth grade, my parents placed an order to rent a saxophone for the following school year so that I could join the band and learn to play.

Question What You Know Is True

The Recovering Engineer

When you know that something is true and someone says something to contradict that knowledge, you will likely reject what they said without giving their statement serious consideration. After all, you already know that they are wrong. Sometimes, though, what we know is not necessarily based in fact.

Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, Task-Oriented People.

The Recovering Engineer

Remember these suggestions the next time you interact with people who are fast-paced and task-oriented, and you will improve the odds that they listen

Tips 284

Using the DISC Model: Focus on Needs More than Behaviors

The Recovering Engineer

The DISC Model of Human Behavior is, as the name implies, about behavior. And, to apply it well, I suggest looking beyond behavior to the needs behind the behavior to really use it to connect and communicate with other people more effectively.

FAQ 254

Three Words to Guarantee Conflict Escalation

The Recovering Engineer

I tend to notice how people respond to certain words. I guess that’s something of an “occupational hazard” for me. As I watch how people respond, I look for patterns.

The 7 Deadly Sins of Conflict Resolution | Guy Harris: The.

The Recovering Engineer

Learn the 7 deadly sins of conflict resolution so that you know what NOT to do when conflict strikes

FAQ 277

Data Tells and Stories Sell

The Recovering Engineer

Early in my career, I worked in the plastics industry as a process and product development engineer. At the time, I had a degree in chemical engineering, and I had just completed service as a nuclear engineering officer in the U.S. Navy.