The Recovering Engineer

Three Communication Strategies Guaranteed to Irritate Others

The Recovering Engineer

In workshops and coaching conversations, I receive many questions about the right way to communicate an idea. Sadly, I cannot define the absolutely, most correct, “right” way to communicate an idea – particularly if the idea is communicated during a conflict conversation.

Three Power Phrases to Disarm a Verbal Aggressor

The Recovering Engineer

When you feel that you have been verbally attacked, it is incredibly difficult to think of the right words to calm the situation and disarm a verbal aggressor.

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The Difference Between Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication

The Recovering Engineer

Communication breakdowns are a common cause for conflict, and poor communication strategies can lead to rapid escalation. Likewise, effective communication strategies can help you correct these miscommunications to move conflicts quickly towards resolution.

The DISC Model of Human Behavior – A Quick Overview | Guy Harris.

The Recovering Engineer

As a teenager and young adult, I thought people were totally irrational and unpredictable. In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas of their lives and in many situations

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A Simple Model for Understanding What Drives Behavior

The Recovering Engineer

The diagram above shows a simplified model for better understanding what drives behavior. Since people often spend their lives studying and understanding what really drives our behavior, I am pretty confident that I cannot hope to fully cover the topic in this short post.

FAQ 101

Don't Use an Illness Description for a Normal Behavior | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

Last week, I saw a report on television about the number of children that have likely been misdiagnosed as ADD/ADHD. As I watched the television piece, I was reminded of a common problem I see when people start to apply the DISC model

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Conflict Resolution Lession: Recognize Redirected Aggression | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

Under stress cats can redirect their aggression towards you. So can people. Learn a lesson in dealing with redirected aggression from our cat, Merlin

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Six Questions to Make Sure You Have Communicated Effectively

The Recovering Engineer

The communication process really should be easy. You say something to another person. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. And, it’s not quite that easy.

Five Questions to Make Sure that You Understand Others Correctly

The Recovering Engineer

Have you ever taken an action – either immediately or at some later time – based on what you heard someone say only to find out after you acted (or spoke) that you did not accurately understand their statement or request?

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Learning to Embrace Messiness

The Recovering Engineer

Sometimes, life gets messy — as shown by the picture of the living area in my home this morning. When I first walked through this area on my way to get a cup of coffee and some breakfast, I felt a bit stressed. My family was still asleep, and I had a full day of work planned in my home office.

You Cannot Punish People into Good Behavior

The Recovering Engineer

In a recent post, I presented a simple model for understanding what drives our behavior. According to the model, punishments (negative or unpleasant consequences) can reduce the likelihood that a behavior will repeat in the future.

Emotions are the Greatest Barrier to Change

The Recovering Engineer

I often say that facts dictate the need for change and emotions create the barrier to it.

Decision Making 101 – Check Your Emotions Before You Decide | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

How we feel when we make a decision one time can impact how we make a similar decision in the future

FAQ 81

The 7 Deadly Sins of Conflict Resolution | Guy Harris: The.

The Recovering Engineer

Learn the 7 deadly sins of conflict resolution so that you know what NOT to do when conflict strikes

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Employee Motivation Tips: Their Personal Life

The Recovering Engineer

Many leaders struggle with finding ways to motivate people to higher level performance. I have already written that you cannot motivate another person.

One Way To Guarantee That Your Suggestion Is Ignored

The Recovering Engineer

I have noticed one behavior many of us use that almost guarantees that our suggestions, solutions, and opinions will be ignored when we offer them: We tell people what to do before we have heard their whole story

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Conflict Resolution Tips: Don’t Assume You Know What Someone Will Do

The Recovering Engineer

Have you ever seen or been involved in a conflict conversation where one person said: “I knew that you were going to say that!&#. If you have, you probably noticed that the conflict intensity escalated from that point forward. This type of statement is aggressive.

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Employee Motivation Tips: The Why Matters

The Recovering Engineer

There are two musical instruments I would like to play. One is the saxophone and the other is the guitar. When I was in the fifth grade, my parents placed an order to rent a saxophone for the following school year so that I could join the band and learn to play.

Effective Communication Skills: How to Quickly Guess a Person's.

The Recovering Engineer

Effective communication skills start with understanding the other person's perspective. This posts offers a simple way to gain better understanding

FAQ 74

Conflict Resolution Mistakes: Stating Opinions As Facts | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

Stating opinions as facts can be a subtle and insidious conflict conversation practice. It can sneak into your communication patterns in little ways

FAQ 78

The Two Sides of Trust

The Recovering Engineer

Like so many words we use commonly, trust has many layers of meaning. While most of us have similar general perspectives about what it means to trust another person, there are some subtle differences in how we view this simple word.

Three Clues You Can Use to Find What Motivates Another Person

The Recovering Engineer

Two questions I often get in workshops, from coaching clients, and in consulting engagements is: How do I work with an unmotivated person? How do I motivate someone to work harder? Here are the quick answers: There is no such thing as an unmotivated person. Everyone is motivated to do something.

Group Problem Solving - Give People a Chance to Talk | Guy Harris.

The Recovering Engineer

Until people talk through their perspectives to the point that they feel heard and understood, they will find it difficult to come to a collective decision that they can all live with and act upon

FAQ 70

Being Too Nice Can Hurt You | Guy Harris: The Recovering Engineer

The Recovering Engineer

Being nice and helpful is a good trait. Carried to an extreme though, it can back-fire and harm you in the workplace

Rules Without Relationship Breed Rebellion | Guy Harris: The.

The Recovering Engineer

You can and should set and enforce rules. And, to achieve better leadership success, you should develop a relationship before you attempt to enforce them

FAQ 69

How to Tell If a Conflict is Good or Bad | Guy Harris: The.

The Recovering Engineer

Not all conflict is bad. Sometimes it can be good. Here are three ways you can tell the difference

Better Relationship Tips For Task Oriented People: Redefine Your.

The Recovering Engineer

How you view or define a task can cause you to struggle in your relationships. Try redefining the task to stay focused on the other person

Using the DISC Model: How to Create Stress for Other People | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

If you really want to stress someone out, just use these tactics in your communications with them

Effective Communication Skills: You Don't Know Until You Ask | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

You never know another person's intentions until you ask. A story about how assumptions can escalate conflict

Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, People-Oriented.

The Recovering Engineer

Remember these suggestions the next time you interact with people who are fast-paced and people-oriented, and you will improve the odds that they list

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Three Critical Factors to Consider Before You Choose a Communication Technique

The Recovering Engineer

Before you start looking for the right communication technique or words to use to convey an idea, you must consider three critical factors. They are not complicated. They are important. Failure to include them in your thinking, could lead to a failed communication.

Using the DISC Model: Focus on Needs More than Behaviors

The Recovering Engineer

The DISC Model of Human Behavior is, as the name implies, about behavior. And, to apply it well, I suggest looking beyond behavior to the needs behind the behavior to really use it to connect and communicate with other people more effectively.

FAQ 59

Why Your Natural Response to Conflict is Probably Wrong and What.

The Recovering Engineer

Most people's natural response to conflict begins with this perception of threat. This perception triggers our "fight-or-flight" response, and our adr

FAQ 66

Employee Motivation: Compliance or Commitment?

The Recovering Engineer

Whether you are trying to resolve a conflict, coach an employee, or correct your child’s behavior; you have to wrestle with your real goals. You have to ask yourself, “Do I want compliance or commitment?&#.

It Takes a Team

The Recovering Engineer

From Bud to Boss I've been traveling to lead workshops, on vacation (sort-of), and working hard with my co-author and colleague, Kevin Eikenberry, and the rest of the Kevin Eikenberry Group team to get ready for the launch of our book

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Three Words to Guarantee Conflict Escalation

The Recovering Engineer

I tend to notice how people respond to certain words. I guess that’s something of an “occupational hazard” for me. As I watch how people respond, I look for patterns.

The Positive Runs Out

The Recovering Engineer

This afternoon, I recorded a webinar on employee motivation techniques. During the webinar, I discussed a model of human behavior that helps to explain why people do what they do. The main learning point from this model is that people

Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, Task-Oriented People.

The Recovering Engineer

Remember these suggestions the next time you interact with people who are fast-paced and task-oriented, and you will improve the odds that they listen

FAQ 64

Why I Use The DISC Model

The Recovering Engineer

People frequently ask me why I use the DISC model in my work. Today, I’ll offer some of my reasons. I use the DISC model because: It is simple enough that… I can work with someone for only a few minutes and help them gain perspective they have never seen before.

FAQ 58

Employee Engagement: Lessons From Our Book Launch

The Recovering Engineer

What creates engagement? How do you build it, spread it , and maintain it? I don’t propose that I know the definitive answer to these questions. I do have an observation… People get engaged and enthusiastic about something they believe in.