The Recovering Engineer

Emotions are the Greatest Barrier to Change

The Recovering Engineer

I often say that facts dictate the need for change and emotions create the barrier to it.

Data Tells and Stories Sell

The Recovering Engineer

Early in my career, I worked in the plastics industry as a process and product development engineer. At the time, I had a degree in chemical engineering, and I had just completed service as a nuclear engineering officer in the U.S. Navy.

Three Ways to Deal with an Angry Person

The Recovering Engineer

How do you like dealing with an angry person? If you’re like most of the people I know, you hate it. And, you occasionally have to do it.

Three Communication Strategies Guaranteed to Irritate Others

The Recovering Engineer

In workshops and coaching conversations, I receive many questions about the right way to communicate an idea. Sadly, I cannot define the absolutely, most correct, “right” way to communicate an idea – particularly if the idea is communicated during a conflict conversation.

Five Ways to De-escalate a Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

Reversing the course of an escalating conflict is a topic that surfaces frequently in my work with coaching clients and workshop participants. I have received emails, blog comments, and twitter requests for help with this topic.

What a Diverted United Airlines Flight Can Teach You about Conflict Resolution

The Recovering Engineer

Shock and dismay are the best words I can use to describe my initial response to the news that a United Airlines flight from Newark to Denver had been diverted to Chicago due to a dispute between passengers over leg room.

Five Common Responses to Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

In my work with clients of all kinds, I have noticed five basic types of response to conflict. I see people who are… Conflict Rock Stars. Conflict Rock Stars are almost always in control of their responses. They know how to communicate calmly and assertively in nearly every situation.

You Have to Have a Goal to Achieve a Goal

The Recovering Engineer

One January day about thirteen years ago, I stepped on the scales in my bathroom, and I did not like the feedback I received. I was at the highest weight I had ever been in my life. My clothes were starting to get a bit tight, and I was feeling uncomfortable in them.

Goal 149

The Leadership Secret to Getting More Done

The Recovering Engineer

One of the things I notice as I work with new leaders is a tendency to accept work practices and processes as fixed entities. In some cases, company procedures, processes and work practices are mandated from a level far removed from the front-line supervisor, and they are relatively fixed.

Three Power Phrases to Disarm a Verbal Aggressor

The Recovering Engineer

When you feel that you have been verbally attacked, it is incredibly difficult to think of the right words to calm the situation and disarm a verbal aggressor.

Power 207

The Difference Between Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication

The Recovering Engineer

Communication breakdowns are a common cause for conflict, and poor communication strategies can lead to rapid escalation. Likewise, effective communication strategies can help you correct these miscommunications to move conflicts quickly towards resolution.

Conflict De-escalation Strategies: Control Your Tone and Body Language

The Recovering Engineer

The perception of threat is the primary cause for conflict escalation. The most important word in the previous sentence is perception.

Six Questions to Make Sure You Have Communicated Effectively

The Recovering Engineer

The communication process really should be easy. You say something to another person. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. And, it’s not quite that easy.

Six Questions to Ask for Successful Collaboration

The Recovering Engineer

The biggest problem with collaborative problem solving is the collaborative part. Many new leaders became leaders because they know how to get things done.

A Collection of Conflict Resolution Quotes

The Recovering Engineer

I love quotes. They often capture big concepts in only a few words. They give me “thought anchors” to help me collect and focus my thoughts. This is a quick video I put together to capture some great conflict resolution quotes that help and inspire me.

New Supervisor Skills – People Must Feel Empowered to Act Empowered

The Recovering Engineer

Empowerment is a great thing. Empowered employees show greater commitment, stay more engaged, and create better results. Empowered employees take more initiative and get more done than employees who work in a fear-based, command-and-control environment.

Skills 143

People are a Package Deal

The Recovering Engineer

Nearly everyone irritates me to some extent. Even the people close to me — my wife, my kids, my friends, and my professional colleagues — irritate me from time to time.

You Cannot Sell What You Do Not Own

The Recovering Engineer

One day John, a newly promoted supervisor with Fictional Products, met with his boss, Bill, to discuss a new procedure recently mandated by a change to company policy. John was not happy with the change because he knew that his team would not like it.

Morale 154

Using Apology to De-escalate a Conflict

The Recovering Engineer

Apology is a powerful — and often under used — conflict resolution tool. One reason for not apologizing that I often hear in my work with clients is the concern that apologizing either totally admits fault for the conflict or reveals a weakness.

Tools 159

Learning to Embrace Messiness

The Recovering Engineer

Sometimes, life gets messy — as shown by the picture of the living area in my home this morning. When I first walked through this area on my way to get a cup of coffee and some breakfast, I felt a bit stressed. My family was still asleep, and I had a full day of work planned in my home office.

Three Clues You Can Use to Find What Motivates Another Person

The Recovering Engineer

Two questions I often get in workshops, from coaching clients, and in consulting engagements is: How do I work with an unmotivated person? How do I motivate someone to work harder? Here are the quick answers: There is no such thing as an unmotivated person. Everyone is motivated to do something.

Five Questions to Make Sure that You Understand Others Correctly

The Recovering Engineer

Have you ever taken an action – either immediately or at some later time – based on what you heard someone say only to find out after you acted (or spoke) that you did not accurately understand their statement or request?

Shaw 187

A Simple Model for Understanding What Drives Behavior

The Recovering Engineer

The diagram above shows a simplified model for better understanding what drives behavior. Since people often spend their lives studying and understanding what really drives our behavior, I am pretty confident that I cannot hope to fully cover the topic in this short post.

FAQ 198

Use the Right Style at the Right Time

The Recovering Engineer

Every stage of team development has different characteristics. These different characteristics mean that every stage calls for leaders to behave in different ways to support team growth.

Four Ways to Improve Your Communication

The Recovering Engineer

If you want to become more effective as a leader, more successful in meetings, or more confident while resolving conflicts, become a better communicator.

Shaw 177

Listening as a Tool to De-escalate Conflicts

The Recovering Engineer

Recently, I read this statement: “They keep yelling at me that I’m not listening.” ” I would love to give credit to the person who said it, but I’ve lost the source. I think I saw it as a tweet in my twitter stream. I’m just not sure of that.

Tools 154

Task-Oriented vs People-Oriented: A Common Source of Conflict.

The Recovering Engineer

The difference between task-oriented people and people-oriented people can often be the source of conflicts

FAQ 205

Applying the DISC Model: Breaking Through A Common Frustration

The Recovering Engineer

Today, I led a DISC communication skills workshop that ended with a role-play exercise to allow participants the opportunity to practice the skills we had been discussing.

FAQ 180

Communication Tips: Connecting With Outgoing, Task-Oriented People.

The Recovering Engineer

Remember these suggestions the next time you interact with people who are fast-paced and task-oriented, and you will improve the odds that they listen

Tips 207

Using the DISC Model: Four Steps to Success with Others

The Recovering Engineer

The video pretty much says it all for this post. It quickly gives you four steps for applying the DISC model for success with others. In a nutshell, the four steps are… Understand the DISC model. Understand your style (where you fit in the model).

FAQ 163

Assume Benign Intent

The Recovering Engineer

My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward.

The DISC Model of Human Behavior – A Quick Overview | Guy Harris.

The Recovering Engineer

As a teenager and young adult, I thought people were totally irrational and unpredictable. In my thirties, I learned about patterns of behavior that people tend to follow in many areas of their lives and in many situations

FAQ 207

Using the DISC Model: How to Create Stress for Other People | Guy.

The Recovering Engineer

If you really want to stress someone out, just use these tactics in your communications with them

Stress 192

Question What You Know Is True

The Recovering Engineer

When you know that something is true and someone says something to contradict that knowledge, you will likely reject what they said without giving their statement serious consideration. After all, you already know that they are wrong. Sometimes, though, what we know is not necessarily based in fact.

The 7 Deadly Sins of Conflict Resolution | Guy Harris: The.

The Recovering Engineer

Learn the 7 deadly sins of conflict resolution so that you know what NOT to do when conflict strikes

FAQ 199

Change Your Delivery

The Recovering Engineer

If you lead others, you are in the change business. When you are in the change business, you will eventually have to deal with resistance to your ideas, the direction you want to go, the new behaviors you are expecting, and more. Dealing with resistance is a normal part of leadership.

Seven Reasons to Develop Conflict Confidence

The Recovering Engineer

At one time, I thought I taught conflict resolution. Over time, I have come to realize that I don’t really teach conflict resolution as much as I teach conflict confidence. To resolve a conflict, you need the other person’s cooperation.

Employee Motivation: Compliance or Commitment?

The Recovering Engineer

Whether you are trying to resolve a conflict, coach an employee, or correct your child’s behavior; you have to wrestle with your real goals. You have to ask yourself, “Do I want compliance or commitment?&#.

Dealing with Creative Block

The Recovering Engineer

Two big ideas that have huge implications for you as a leader are swirling in my head. I am struggling valiantly (at least in my mind) to align the ideas in a way that briefly and meaningfully conveys them.

Employee Motivation Tips: The Why Matters

The Recovering Engineer

There are two musical instruments I would like to play. One is the saxophone and the other is the guitar. When I was in the fifth grade, my parents placed an order to rent a saxophone for the following school year so that I could join the band and learn to play.