From Boss to Leader: How Perspective Taking Energizes People
Taking perspective is more important than giving perspective when leading. Gain influence by learning how others see the world before explaining your way of seeing.
Perspective taking is at the heart of servant leadership.
Positive influence:
A person’s perspective is the right perspective from their point of view.
In one way or another we long to be seen. When we feel understood we feel…
- Energized.
- Respected.
- Grateful.
- Connected.
- Empowered.
- Motivated.
- Willing to listen.
Leaders have thin influence when they give perspective but don’t take it. Perspective giving apart from perspective taking is command and control. Servant leaders help people flourish by seeking to understand how others see the world.
Influence demands perspective taking.
How to practice perspective taking:
#1. Stop fixing.
The #1 behavior that prevents leaders from coaching people is fixing. You rush to give your perspective on someone’s situation. You disempower people when you jump to advise before taking perspective.
Practice taking their perspective before giving yours.
#2. Indicate interest.
People are fascinating.
Perspective taking begins when you ask, “What’s going on for you?”
Express interest by saying…
- What are you trying to accomplish when you…?
- Would you help me understand how you feel about…?
- What do you want me to understand?
- Could you tell me more about…?
You know someone when you understand their perspective.
#3. Learn stories.
The way people see the world is best understood through their stories.
Explore another person’s…
- Experiences.
- Upbringing.
- Values.
- Influential friends.
- Cultural surroundings.
- Personal goals and priorities.
- Faith/religion.
- Education.
- Current needs.
- Priorities.
Which perspective taking approach could you practice today? (Stop fixing, indicate interest, learn stories?)
What would you like to add to this post?
Still curious:
A New Question That Invites a Story
The Power of Perspective Taking
Perspective is often garnered when the “aha moment” is surrounded by silence, as clarity sinks in. Ask moments later, what is the silence about?
Thanks, Norm. A pause is good in both directions. When someone pauses, let them. Love the idea of exploring what’s happening for them.
When you pause it indicates you’re talking someone seriously. So powerful.
The challenge is being comfortable with silence.
Thanks again. Your comment got me thinking about pauses.
I learned today! I am going to begin to learn “stories” of my friends, staff and colleagues.
Thanks for sharing your journey. I wish you success.
Dan at business meals, with shareable dishes, I would often volunteer to serve the food. If anyone commented I would say I was practicing serving so that someday I could lead. A fun thing with a message. Brad
That’s a powerful way to model the way. Last week I read an article on HBR mentioned a leader who showed up at a site and served the team breakfast.
Dan, this is a great message. It reminds me of a wonderfully amusing and insightful video called “It’s not about the nail.” You’ve probably seen it, but here’s a link in case you aren’t familiar with it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
Les, that video cracks me up! Thanks for sharing the link.
I have this feeling that I saw it years ago, but the illusion of knowledge is deceptive.
I’ve never seen the Nail video . . . now THAT’s funny!
I am a reformed “fixer” and my life is sooooo much better for it!