Reflect on Regret Before Making Resolutions

“No regrets,” is a self-destructive way to think about your past. Thankfully, Dan Pink trounced the “no regrets” way of reflecting on the past in his book, The Power of Regret.

4 core regrets:

#1. Foundation Regrets. 

“If only I had done the work.”

These regrets are about failures to be responsible, conscientious, or prudent.  Many foundation regrets involve finance and health.

#2. Boldness Regrets. 

“If only I had taken that chance.”

You tend to regret things you didn’t do, not things you did. Boldness regrets include starting a business, chasing love, learning a new language or learning to play an instrument.

Inaction regrets outnumbered action regrets by two to one.

#3. Moral regrets:

“If only I had done the right thing.”

These painful regrets include infidelity and bullying. You had the opportunity to do the right thing and did the wrong thing.

#4. Connection regrets:

“If only I had reached out.”

People regret not asking someone out on a date, letting strong relationships grow weak, and not restoring broken relationships.

Connection regrets are more pervasive than foundation, boldness, and moral regrets.

Regrets before resolutions:

“The pathway to new year’s resolutions is to think about our old year’s regrets.” Dan Pink

1. Look back on the previous year. New Year’s resolutions begin with old year’s regrets.
2. Fill in the blank: “If only I _______________.”
3. Make a long list of your “If only” regrets.
4. Pick the one — and only one — that bugs you the most.
5. Make that — and only that — your New Year’s resolution. Less is more.
6. Put an action plan into place by setting private commitments on the even-numbered days of January.
7. Tell others what you’re doing so they can hold you accountable.

What’s a regret you don’t want to feel when 2024 is over?

Dig deeper:

A CEO says “If I Could Do it Again …

Don’t Rush to Set Personal Goals for 2024