You Can’t Inspire Those You Look Down On
Feeling superior comes in many forms. All of them are justifications for looking down on others.
You can’t inspire those you look down on. Manipulate yes. Inspire no.
12 comparisons that lead to looking down on others:
- I’m more dedicated.
- I have more experience.
- I work harder.
- I’m more reliable.
- I have more responsibilities.
- I solve more problems than I cause.
- I give more help than I receive.
- I have more education.
- I’m more successful.
- I make more money.
- I have more friends.
- I have more talent.
Comparison:
You ARE more talented than others. You SOLVE more problems. You have MORE answers. Wow! You practically walk on water. (Sarcasm intended.)
Feeling superior requires making comparisons.
We can always find someone who is LESS than we are to prop up self-importance.
A husband who neglects his wife is a hero compared to a drunken wife beater.
Team leaders who work longer hours can look down on those who go home on time.
I’m a better driver than my 6-year old granddaughter. But I’ve still wrecked most of the vehicles I’ve owned.
4 Suggestions:
A life of constant growth and learning reflects humility.
- What new behaviors are you trying this week? If the answer is none, do you think you’ve arrived? Maybe you’re doing everything right?
- How are you stretching yourself? It’s fun to stretch others. What about stretching yourself?
- When was the last time someone else was right?
- When was the last time you said, “I was wrong.”?
Feeling superior is permission to stand aloof.
3 Tips:
- Compare yourself with your potential, not someone else’s performance.
- Use your ‘greatness’ to make others great.
- Show up to serve, not be served.
Attitudes and behaviors that create distance lower your ability to lead.
How might leaders practice humility on a daily basis?
Always be humble and kind.
Practicing empathy, for example putting one in another’s shoe.
Realising that ego is only in the mind. It makes one feel superior but it is actually a mirage.
Remember that you can’t do it alone. There is no place for arrogance in leadership. Someone once told me: “If you are going to ‘suck up’ you better ‘suck down’ as well.”
Take 5 minutes to think about the fact that you could never get anything done if you didn’t have the help of the people “beneath” you.
I work with a manager who will not recognize accomplishments, but make it a personal challenge to out do you. Everything is a competition. It wears you down as you try to be your best, but at the end of the day, you will never succeed due to this mind set.
I tend to always think of how much there is to know in the world in a given subject. The gap between what I know and all that is in the world is extremely humbling. In light of that, how could I ever look down on anyone?
Great post, Dan!
To paraphrase the late Dolores O’riordan song, the people you meet on your way up are the people you see on your way down. Most everything has a cycle to respect. Also have noted that if you knock people down to build yourself up, you have a false foundation and others will notice.
Take the 12 comparisons and substitute the word “need” for “am/have/do” and you have
the most productive, effective and sustainable attitude/approach to humility
(and best defense from our inner gremlin’s natural tendency toward self-absorption/narcissism):
“I need more talent …
I need more experience …
I need more education …
I need more help …,” etc.
We all need more friends like this.
Always work on what you are NOT good at (you’ll always be compelled to do what you are already good at anyway – the inner gremlin will insist upon it to the point of extremism).
Leaders aim to persuade, managers merely manipulate.