16 Ways to Give Constructive Feedback Like a Human
Constructive feedback is a gift few leaders enjoy giving. Done carelessly it quenches enthusiasm.
Before feedback people struggle. After constructive feedback people feel confident.
Successful feedback sharpens someone’s axe.
16 ways to give constructive feedback:
- Build trusting relationships. Don’t show up to hammer people and saunter back to your easy chair like you’ve done something spectacular. Do people believe you care about them?
- Speak to career goals. When you don’t know their goals, the first step is to learn them.
- Always seek to advantage others. There is no exception to this rule.
- Use the lens of career goals when explaining negative behaviors. “Interrupting people in meetings doesn’t improve your communication skills.”
- Encourage more than correct.
- Build on strengths.
- Focus on one concern. Old habits are like gum on your shoe. We change slowly.
- Express issues in one or two sentences. The more you talk the worse it is. “I notice (fill in the blank with specific behaviors.)
- Give examples. “When you….”
- Relax. You’re here to help.
- Speak directly and with kindness.
- Provide adequate time and privacy.
- Avoid but. “You’re doing a great job, BUT…” Don’t dilute affirmation with correction.
- Don’t interpret intentions or motivations. Ask about them. “What are you trying to accomplish when you…?”
- Collaborate on solutions and develop a path forward. Spend more time talking about solutions than problems.
- Follow-up with progress reports.
4 tips:
Optimism is essential when giving constructive feedback.
Avoid giving feedback until you believe growth is possible.
If growth isn’t possible, redesign their job or manage them out.
Sit on the same side of the table, when possible.
What have you learned about giving constructive feedback?
What do leaders do wrong when giving feedback?
Still curious:
Feedback: Solving the Most Common Failure in Leadership
3 Ways to Give Feedback that Works
Humility and self-reflection strengthen leaders for the battle. Click here to check out, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. It’s a wonderful tool for leaders facing challenges.
Onlong the lines of, ‘Sit on the same side of the table when possible’. I may add my own story; share one of my own past situations where a coaching opportunity could be inserted.
Wonderful, Melanie. Your suggestion feels like empathy when done humbly. Thanks for jumping in today.
Today’s blog feels like you were reading my mind. I’m getting ready to do my first year end reviews as a leader and I am nervous about providing feedback in a good way. This is great and will be saving these for when I need them!
Giving feedback an “interesting” challenge and opportunity. Easy to screw up. A few simple practices makes it go better. Working with people is interesting.
I wish you success, SB.
Excellent post. I am about to start the annual performance review process at my organization and will have the opportunity to use this information when I meet with my direct reports. I will surely use #4, the lens of career goals when explaining negative behaviors.
Thanks Rosemarie. We all need to see why something matters to us. You know what matters to you. The key is what matters to them.
I really appreciate that you started with building trusting relationships. Whether it’s leading a team or raising our kids, a trusting and safe relationship is such a key to influence! I don’t do this well when I am frustrated in the moment and find it’s usually best to give myself some time and space to process to make sure my motive is truly for their best interest and that I’m not just venting my frustrations. Thanks for these great reminders!
Brilliant insight, Brian. When emotionally charged, give yourself time to get centered. Check your motives. You said give yourself time to evaluate if your emotions are aligned with your intentions.
How to deal with critical and harsh feedbacks? Also what I have observed it few colleagues escalate on issues directly rather than speaking to the concern person first. How to handle that as well?