Happiness isn’t Apathy – How to defeat the Beast of Dissatisfaction
“Management’s overall aim should be to create a system in which everybody may take joy in his work.” Dr. W. Edwards Deming
7 reasons for dissatisfaction:
It wouldn’t surprise me if you’re dissatisfied right now.
- Lack of opportunity – feeling stuck.
- Too many monkeys – feeling frantic.
- Low pay – feeling underappreciated.
- Lack of development – feeling hopeless.
- Poor performing individuals or teams – feeling undermined.
- Pressure from above – feeling misunderstood.
- Internal dissatisfaction – fear of enjoyment.
The unvirtuous cycle:
Every opportunity for improvement is an accusation when dissatisfaction drives achievement.
Nothing is good enough when dissatisfaction drives achievement.
You never find satisfaction when you fear that enjoyment leads to apathy. Your internal monster devours every glimmer of joy the moment it appears.
Reaction:
Dissatisfaction is an emotional distraction. You typically react to judgements, not events.
- Event. You didn’t make the numbers.
- Judgement. You call yourself a loser. (Some expression of emotional dissatisfaction.)
- Reaction. Beat yourself up. Pressure people to work harder.
Remove emotional judgment from the above sequence and respond to realities. You didn’t make the numbers. Now what?
Drama distracts you from responding to actual events. Instead, we respond to emotional judgements.
Three questions that drain the drama:
- What happened?
- What do we want to happen?
- What’s the next step?
Enjoyment:
The opposite of dissatisfaction isn’t apathy. It’s enjoyment.
Dissatisfaction is painful motivation. Enjoyment is energy without pain.
- Enjoy past progress. Celebrate just for a moment.
- Enjoy today’s opportunity. It may not be the opportunity you hoped for, but don’t let it slip through your fingers because it’s not the perfect opportunity.
- Enjoy making a difference for someone. The world isn’t as it should be, but you can serve someone. Enjoyment includes thinking beyond yourself.
Happiness is energy, not apathy. You work hard at what you enjoy. Dissatisfaction is energy too. But nagging dissatisfaction creates an unvirtuous cycle that eventually drains energy.
Where might you find enjoyment today?
How might you create an environment where enjoyment is more likely?
Job satisfaction: How to make work more rewarding – Mayo Clinic
Dr. Deming’s Joy at Work, Happiness & the High Performance Organization | IndustryWeek
I think your comment is especially relevant to those with professions that identify them as essential workers during the pandemic. More than ever, their output is expected to be at peak performance while managing added stressors and increased expectations. Teachers, nurses, market cashiers are just some of the professionals that feel the enormous weight of dissatisfaction that could be abated by proper leadership.
Thanks Dana. You hint at the power of leadership to influence satisfaction on the team. You can’t force someone to be satisfied but you can make it more likely. Leaders might try vulnerability – be open with your own battle with dissatisfaction. Gratitude – walk around noticing good. Celebration – enjoy completing a day before you head home.
Dan, as a school administrator, we have tried vulnerability, gratitude and celebration. What I have found is that many teachers, our best, in fact, put much more pressure on themselves to achieve than we could ever put on them. They are discouraged by the number of remote students that are not engaged and parents that refuse to answer the phone. Even if 90% of their students are working hard and growing despite the difficulties, the 10% that are not engaged consume their energy. Our support staff is working overtime trying to meet student and teacher needs. Couple that with the ever-present social distancing and safety measures we keep at school for the Face-to-Face students and we have stressors that never let up. Despite all this, I see tremendous growth in my teachers this year, but they hesitate to recognize it for themselves.
Great layout and powerful approach to looking around with a bright flashlight – using part of this in 30 minutes – some employees really dissatisfied with who got the promotion – thank you Dan
Thanks Scott. Best wishes for your meeting.
Celebrating progress is the key. It doesn’t happen often enough. “Great job…. do better next time” does not bring satisfaction.
Thanks Pat. Inner dissatisfaction prevents people from celebrating. It might help to remember that celebrating doesn’t have to cost anything.
Love the three questions to drain the drama. . .
Thanks Caroline. so glad to be useful.
I always used to try to go to work each day with an attitude that I called, “the anticipation of excellence.” I have seen far too many folks in leadership positions (and their followers) toiling unproductively under the yoke of constant -or at least persistent- dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction can certainly serve as a reminder of the need to do better, but it is a poor leadership strategy.
Dan,
“You can’t please everyone, but you have to please yourself”. So in life if we aren’t happy how do we change? What do we change? Why change? All come to mind!
Finding enjoyment today comes in many forms, as mentioned above the “Pandemic workers” surely stands out up front as of late, these people find joy with a success getting through a day.
Look at getting things accomplished that works for you, everyone has different obligations to perform daily in life and work, so for leaders they need to have the vision what it takes to run a successful Business, Classroom, medical facility, etc., and how they will get there.
My parents had an approach to dissatisfaction then went along the lines of “shut up or I’ll give you something to be unhappy about!” The form of words used in the workplace is “You have no reason to be dissatisfied or disheartened, it could be much, much worse”. Just because it could be worse doesn’t mean it’s actually good, or even acceptable, at present. You’re right that happiness is the opposite of dissatisfaction, but an approach an approach where you threaten people with being LESS satisfied isn’t the same as making them happy!
This is a great ppost