13 Ways to Overcome Timidity and Fuel Boldness
Stagnation emerges where uncertainty prevails. Fear pulls back and congeals the past. But, boldness builds the future.
Boldness is the belief that hard work works.
Bold teams achieve; timid teams survive.
Lousy leaders inspire uncertainty.
Timid environments reflect fearful leaders.
Bold leadership:
- Boldly engage in behaviors you expect from others. Don’t stand on the hill yelling for people to come up and join your team. Come down and join theirs. Organizations where leaders expect everyone to get on their team are limited by their leaders. Organizations where leaders get on everyone else’s team are limited only by the potential of teams.
- Don’t punish wave-making; honor it.
- Have their back. Simon Sinek masterfully explains the power of pulling together in, “Leaders Eat Last.” Listen to Simon explain the development of bold teams (4:20):
Building Boldness:
Repeating the same behavior over and over is running in circles. Boldness is the result of succeeding at something new.
- Invite coaching, mentoring, and training. Those open to coaching are teachable. They haven’t arrived. Every loser believes success is easy.
- Try something new. Boldness grows as you improve. Improvement is the result of stepping into untested behaviors. Repetition reinforces; trying something new grows.
- Solicit feedback.
- Adjustment.
- Trying something new again.
- And so on…
Four Boldness tips:
- Focus on making things better for others. Insecurity grows when you focus on yourself. Focus on your own performance as it relates to making things better for others.
- Go with your highest point of confidence. Don’t wait for absolute certainty.
- Commit. Uncommitted people end up timid and unhappy. Uncommitted people find reasons why it’s dumb to commit. Excuses and boldness don’t mix. Commitment fuels energy, creativity, and resolve.
- Adjust your path not the destination.
Added resources:
Ten Powerful Strategies to Build Your Confidence
How to Bring Caution and Courage Together
How do leaders create fear and uncertainty?
How can leaders inspire boldness?
Note: Winners of “One Word” have all been notified.
The message each day inevitably stirs something inside; the associated picture each day inevitablly makes me smile. Thanks for the stir & the smile.
Thanks Gerry. A good word is always appreciated. Cheers
Well said Gary! Totally concur on both points.
Great. Thank you for this post.
You are welcome.
Excellent and convicting. The leader standing on the hill saying join me was convicting. My new thing this year–Join their team and commit!!!
Thanks
Thanks J. One of the fundamental leadership shifts that hit me a few years ago was this idea that I need to get on their team before asking them to get on mine. It’s a major shift. Best wishes.
Great job Dan. Loved your insights. There aren’t enough wave-makers out there. Many times they get beat down and not honored. As a wave-maker, I will honor other wave-makers! Thank you for encouraging leaders around the world!
Thanks Dan. Glad you jumped on the wave-maker idea. Usually, as you indicate, these folks get beat down. But in reality, they often represent our future.
One of your best post ever…I love the marine sound byte!
Thanks Bob. My conversation with Simon was wonderful. Glad you enjoyed his insights. The “turn the collar down” story got to me. 🙂
We need teams that “turn each other’s collars down”
I always enjoy your selection of picture that typically is situationally appropriate. I can’t say that I see the correlation with the obese rodent, though.
I see Leaders create fear and uncertainty most often by giving more time and energy for those above them (or peers) rather than those on their extended team. Sort of a “kiss up, Ignore down” tactic. It’s often not a conscious decision of malice or self-serving, but instead more like they just subscribe to an older school of hierarchy and task oriented leadership; not realizing the untapped potential and energy they are neglecting.
Thanks James. That one really stings! We wrongly think if we spend more time with those above that we will do better. But, as you indicate, it demotivates those who report to us. Bingo!
Simon Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!! Cool stuff Dan! Thanks
If one makes their WHY big enough they will be driven all day every day.
It is biological.
SP back to getting my stuff done because my WHY is as big as the Grand Canyon.
Thanks Scott. Yes he does!
Great post, Dan. For me the takeaway is the aspect of Commitment. This shows up our inner intention to put the rubber on the road so to speak.
Shakti
Thanks Shakti. Glad you pointed this out. The principle that those who aren’t committed find fault and those who are committed find a way explains a lot about organizational life.
I especially love the Boldness Tips. Being a shy person, sometimes I’m unsure how to be bold without being considered forthright, or worse…. it’s a journey and I appreciate the guidance on the path.
Thanks Shari. Sadly, one of the untapped resources in many organizations are the “quiet people.” Wise leaders make it easy for introverts to contribute without unnecessarily making them uncomfortable.
For those who are quiet, it’s important to find comfortable ways to express their voice and make contributions.
Best
I gain inspiration whenever I read your blogs. Your thoughts are like lifeboats in the sea of fear … and fear is a powerful controller in North American society. The trick is to hang on to what should be common sense. Leadership doesn’t have to be hard … believe in people, don’t hurt people, and help encourage people to do their best. By all means help bail out the waters of fear when they splash into one’s lifeboat.
Thanks Michael. What an evocative comment…filled with imagery. Thanks. A good word is a beautiful thing. Thanks again.
Thanks for the blog! Like some others who commented, I am exceedingly shy. For the new year, I’ll take some of these tips. Such as acting at the highest point of confidence, that way I won’t have time to question myself.
Thanks Rachel. I’m hopeful that you find ways to contribute and make a difference that you find joyful and fulfilling.
Thanks again for a great blog. I am challenged with the statement “have their back”, as I know I can improve on this.
Thanks Corbin. I like that idea as well. We can ask ourselves,
1. who’s back do we have?
2. who has our back?
3. What can we do to inspire more “having each other’s backs”
When I think of this post on BOLDNESS and continue to see Sinek’s book title “Leaders Eat Last,” I’m reminded of my mom. There was 13 of us brothers and sisters, and when mom and dad would take us for a drive in our station wagon and drive up to a hamburger stand–mom would first give dad his burger and fries first, and then pass them out to all of us. By the time it was time for her to eat, dad
was finished and would take a few fries from mom.
Now, while I am certain mom was not consciously thinking about either leadership, boldness or success of any kind, perhaps subconsciously there was something special about her love: My dad did do well in farming, and 9 out of 13 of my brothers and sisters went on to serve in various professions. And, wow, were they ever
bold, leaders and they did well by doing good.
Solid Rick, solid, thanks for sharing!
This is pretty amazing, but I also was thinking of families reading this blog. So often we have to be leaders in small situations like this and mothers are such a great example of it! Thank you!
Great points and supports for somebody like myself who grew up from oriental culture and need to accept some boldness to achieve a higher level in my career and life. Thanks for sharing!
Dan-Great post. Thank you. I was struck how you noted two kinds of timidity. The first kind seems to be in one’s DNA–like many of the others who commented and me. Clearly, you’ve given us a challenge and a path forward.
The second seems to have evolves from “the coasters.” Those who don’t want to risk what they’ve earned–salary, title/position, power. Thanks for reminding them that boldness may be how they got there in the first place.
Hey Dan, with the boldness tips, would you pair up highest point of confidence AND passion or maybe highest point of passion with relatively high level of confidence for the early wins? And your final bold point is so spot on…it’s the journey not the destination…true in work, true in life.
I would like to hear more about this: “Don’t stand on the hill yelling for people to come up and join your team. Come down and join theirs. Organizations where leaders expect everyone to get on their team are limited by their leaders. Organizations where leaders get on everyone else’s team are limited only by the potential of teams.”
Leadership is figuring out what your teammates want and helping them achieve it. It’s helping them do what they want. Part of the process is aligning what they want with what organizations need. For example, some people want to develop skills. As a leader, frame your conversations in the context of skills development. Others want to get ahead. In that case, get on their team by helping them get ahead as they serve the organization.
I used to think leadership was about getting people to do what I want them to do. Now it’s more about getting them to do what they want to do.
There is always a component of, I need or want something from you. People are eager to do what we want when they believe we are helping them get what they want.
Dan, thank you for this post. This is an amazing parallel to the Undercover Boss TV episode that aired within the past two weeks. Per the format of the show, the CEO’s that left their isolated offices experienced an almost magical transformation. Employees became associates, real people. The experience reshaped CEO perspectives on who matters most within the organization. Changes included a broad range of new investment in associate development forging mutual appreciation, respect, friendship and teamwork. The most tangible takeaway for me: The CEO’s invested time to listen to their associates, recognized their own shortcomings and unexpectedly became engaged leaders on one, united team.
Leaders create fear and uncertainty when they become “situationally shy.” There are times when you wonder is this the same person that was just reading me the riot act and now I hear crickets??? Timing is everything and leaders identify and seize moments which make a difference. This example, when encouraged and guided helps develop the leadership instincts of others.
Reblogged this on Living Success 3D and commented:
It takes courage to boldly lead into uncharted waters …. excellent post.
I love this quote “Commit. Uncommitted people end up timid and unhappy. ” So true! I never thought about it before but in my recent analysis of my life this applies so well! THANK YOU SO MUCH!
As always, excellent points to being a leader and building the future.
“Stagnation emerges where uncertainty prevails.”
Stagnation plants the seeds of boredom for your older self.
Uncertainty feeds fear.
Freddy just farted, its disgusting.
Boredom clashing with fear is death.
“Fear pulls back and congeals the past. But, boldness builds the future. Boldness is the belief that hard work works.”
Boldness is the belief that taking personal risks works (whether you succeed or not). “Bold people grow; timid people survive.”
Growth is life.
Life is exciting.
Dogs smell 🙂
I like these in the 4 Boldness Tips:
1.) Focus on your own performance as it relates to making things better for others.
2.) Go with your highest point of confidence. Don’t wait for absolute certainty.
3.) Commitment fuels energy, creativity, and resolve.
4.) Adjust your path not the destination.
This is a really good blog for me right now in the throws of a company and leadership change over the next six months. Thanks for the encouragement!
Overcomming fear and timidity needs commitment and determination, because is only when you determine to over come it, you can never overcome it, and to be bold you have to be sincere. thanks…
It is a good one i feel encouraged after reading