How To Overcome Four Common Challenges To Become A Better Communicator

“Raising your game as a communicator is one of the best ways to make a difference in the world, but it takes courage to open up to others and invite others to open up to you” says Michelle D. Gladieux, author of the new book, Communicate With Courage: Taking Risks To Overcome The Four Hidden Challenges.

Gladieux explains that those four hidden challenges and sneaky obstacles that can keep you from becoming the best communicator you can be are:

Hiding—Fear of exposing your supposed weaknesses.
Defining—Putting too much stock into assumptions and being quick to judge.
Rationalizing—Using “being realistic” to shield yourself from taking chances, engaging in conflict, or doing other scary but potentially rewarding actions.
Settling—Stopping at “good enough” instead of aiming for something better in your interactions.

According to Gladieux, these challenges all have something in common. They require taking risks—to reveal yourself, question your beliefs, take a leap of faith, or move out of your comfort zone.

Fortunately, each book chapter includes a real-world practice called a Pro Move and an exercise, both carefully crafted to help you overcome hang-ups and take more joy in communicating.

Effective and courageous communication requires self-knowledge, practice, and a desire to grow. It is a full-body, full-mind, and full-heart effort. This book is like having a caring, expert coach along with you for the journey.

Today, Gladieux shares these insights with us:

Question: Of the four obstacles, which one is typically the most challenging for communicators and why?

Gladieux: The four hidden challenges are sneaky obstacles the keep us from becoming the best communicators we can be. In my teaching and coaching practice, I've named them Hiding (fear of exposing supposed or actual weaknesses), Defining (putting too much stock into our assumptions), Rationalizing (shielding ourselves from taking chances by focusing too much thinking on what might go wrong), and Settling (stopping at "good enough" rather than striving toward deeper, braver, more meaningful interactions).

Which hidden challenge is most relevant and difficult to overcome for communicators will vary by person, since we all have unique upbringings, strengths, weaknesses, and experiences in the world.

I've noticed that once I gain ground in seeing and coping with one challenge (whether I'm working on myself or helping a coaching client grow), another may rear its head and require attention to be overcome. It's also worth noting that we may find a challenge we believe we've conquered can emerge again as life tests us in new ways as communicators.

Many coaching clients find that they need to give Rationalizing a rest before they can engage in potentially rewarding communication, because pessimism certainly has power to limit our opportunities as communicators in our personal and professional lives.

And, if we're Settling, right out of the gate we know we won't be striving to reach our communication potential in any way.

Readers can find Pro Moves and do-able exercises delivered with love and strategy throughout the book to help them take small steps toward facing all four hidden challenges and their communication fears.

Question: At what point or stage in a person's career is your book most helpful and why?

Gladieux: Communicate with Courage was built to help young adults through seniors make a difference in the world as communicators.

As long as you're breathing and can speak and/or write, you can strive to summon courage to grow as a message sender and receiver. It's been wonderful to hear about people gifting this book to their 87-year-old grandmother and to their graduating high school senior. Throughout adulthood, we need to keep questioning our beliefs, sharing about ourselves in ways that can be helpful to others (as we help ourselves), and taking leaps of faith in communication.

Michelle Gladieux

Michelle Gladieux is President of Gladieux Consulting, a Midwest-based team known for the design and presentation of seminars in communication and leadership topics around the U.S.

She facilitates strategic planning and executive coaching for clients in diverse industries, in governments, at non-profits, and in academia. She has 18 years of collegiate teaching experience at three universities. She's worked as a Human Resources and Training Director in the cold storage, robotics, and construction industries and enjoys visiting conferences as a keynote speaker and workshop presenter.

Thank you to the book’s publisher for sending me an advance copy of the book.

Comments

The Benefits Of When Everyone Leads

It’s only January and the new book, When Everyone Leads , could likely be my pick for the best new leadership book of 2023. It’s that good. There’s still nearly a whole year ahead of us so we’ll see what other books debut. In the meantime, add this book to your must-read list. You’ll learn that: Leadership is an activity, not a position. Leadership is mobilizing others to make progress on the most important challenges. Leadership is interactive, risky and experimental. Leadership comes in moments. Leadership is always about change. When Everyone Leads , by Ed O’Malley and Julia Fabris McBride , presents a revolutionary approach to leadership; not based on position or authority, but an activity that anybody can undertake by learning to spot opportunities for improvement and taking the initiative to engage others. “It can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but in a culture where everyone leads, organizations start to make progress on their most difficult problems,” explain t

Effective Listening: Do's And Don'ts

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman's book, The 11 Laws of Likability . They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

Five Must-Read Business Books To Read This Summer

Stumped for what business books to add to your summer reading list? Here are five must-read books for leaders well worth adding to your list: Lead With A Story -- A Guide To Crafting Business Narratives That Captivate, Convince, and Inspire . Author Paul Smith explains why storytelling has emerged as a vital skill for every leader and manager. In the book, you'll find over 100 ready-made stories you can use as templates to tell your stories. Stories are so powerful because they are simple, timeless, demographic-proof, contagious, easy to remember and inspiring. Most important, they put the listener in a mental learning mode. What's The Future Of Business? (WTF?) -- Changing The Way Businesses Create Experiences . This book, by Brain Solis, details the incredible transformation happening in business today, driven by new social and mobile technologies. And, he explains how experience design helps your business and how you can harness its power for business growth. This book

How To Make The Leap To Becoming A Leader

Here’s another must-read book to add to your list as you transition from manager to leader. It’s The Leap to Leader , by Adam Bryant . As the creator of the iconic “Corner Office” column in the New York Times , Bryant has spoken with more than a thousand leaders over the years about the challenges and nuances of leadership. Many of his discussions are included in his interview series on LinkedIn. “The goal of this book is to provide an intensely practical guide to making that transition by sharing insights, stories, and approaches from hundreds of leaders to build the skills you will need to make the leap to leader,” explains Bryant. He adds that the book is useful to everyone who is interested in leadership, regardless of where they are in their career. The book covers: The central paradox of leaders: selfless vs. self-centered. How to perfect the do-to-say ratio. Ways to navigate office politics. Tactics to making better decisions. The crucial art of compartmentalizati

Seven Tough Questions To Ask Your Team

High-functioning teams can disagree and still produce excellent products and results. Team members can also disagree and still care about each other. And, they can challenge each other to think differently. Best-selling leadership book authors Scott J. Allen and Mitchell Kusy recommend that leaders ask seven tough questions of their teams to help maximize their results. Here are those questions to ask each team member: What are some obstacles affecting this team? What are opportunities we could take advantage of that we have been largely ignoring? Where can you take greater ownership on this team? Where have you let this team down ? Compared to other teams with which you are familiar, how are we doing ? When was the last time you complimented the team or one of its members? How open are you to giving direct feedback to team members?

How To Listen Effectively

Here are some great tips from Michelle Tillis Lederman 's book, The 11 Laws of Likability . They are all about: what to do and what not to do to be a leader who's an effective listener : Do : Maintain eye contact Limit your talking Focus on the speaker Ask questions Manage your emotions Listen with your eyes and ears Listen for ideas and opportunities Remain open to the conversation Confirm understanding, paraphrase Give nonverbal messages that you are listening (nod, smile) Ignore distractions Don't : Interrupt Show signs of impatience Judge or argue mentally Multitask during a conversation Project your ideas Think about what to say next Have expectations or preconceived ideas Become defensive or assume you are being attacked Use condescending, aggressive, or closed body language Listen with biases or closed to new ideas Jump to conclusions or finish someone's sentences

How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated To All In

Here is a book that provides workplace leaders an urgently needed methodology for helping companies to reduce worker loneliness, and it delivers a blueprint for building strong, high-performing workplace teams. The book is, Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated To All In , by Ryan Jenkins and Steven Van Cohen . “72% of workers suffer from loneliness. And, what was once a simmering problem shifted to a crisis when COVID-19 and the sudden transition to remove work isolated workers from each other as never before,” report the authors. “Loneliness is the absence of connection,” explain the authors. “Loneliness is not defined by the lack of people, because someone can be lonely even while surrounded by others. We require more than the presence of others. We require the presence of others to dream, strategize, and work toward commons goals.” Furthermore, “workplace loneliness is defined by the distress caused by the perceived inadequacy of quality connection to team

The Benefits Of When Everyone Leads

Today's FLASHBACK to earlier in the year: It’s only January and the new book, When Everyone Leads , could likely be my pick for the best new leadership book of 2023. It’s that good. There’s still nearly a whole year ahead of us so we’ll see what other books debut. In the meantime, add this book to your must-read list. You’ll learn that: Leadership is an activity, not a position. Leadership is mobilizing others to make progress on the most important challenges. Leadership is interactive, risky and experimental. Leadership comes in moments. Leadership is always about change. When Everyone Leads , by Ed O’Malley and Julia Fabris McBride , presents a revolutionary approach to leadership; not based on position or authority, but an activity that anybody can undertake by learning to spot opportunities for improvement and taking the initiative to engage others. “It can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable, but in a culture where everyone leads, organizations start to make progress on

A Playbook For How Women Advance Within Business

Describing the new book, In Her Own Voice , by Jennifer McCollum , Anne Chow (former CEO of AT&T Business) says that “for women, the book does a beautiful job of explaining not just what to do to advance in your career, but also what to expect. For leaders, it helps you recognize the gap between what you think women seeking advancement want and what they really need.” Chow adds, “the book is based on the experiences of tens of thousands of women, with guidance that is applicable to every one of us, no matter where we are on our own unique journey.” McCollum divides her book into three parts: Understanding the hurdles to women’s advancement Overcoming the hurdles Eliminating the hurdles She professes that women have unique gifts and abilities. “Businesses need talented women, now more than ever. We need to do everything possible to engage, develop, and inspire them—and to advance them into leadership roles, all the way to the C-suite and board positions, if they so c

How To Be An Inclusive Leader

“No matter your title, or how advanced you already consider yourself to be as an inclusive leader, I believe this book will help you evolve and motivate you to take action,” says Jennifer Brown about her book, How To be An Inclusive Leader: Your Role In Creating Cultures Of Belonging Where Everyone Can Thrive . The book is the second edition of the bestselling title from 2021. This newest installment includes a new introduction and addresses challenges posed by the pandemic—including remote work, flexibility, and mental health. “It also gives increased attention to embedding equity, empathy, and anti-racism in the inclusive leader framework,” shares Brown. “I’m proud that this second edition will help leaders and organizations respond to the changes unfolding around us in relevant, culturally competent ways and take action to address systemic inequities that persist in the workplace.” In her book, Brown explores how power and authority are changing fundamentally. She explains tha

Eric Jacobson On Management And Leadership

Search This Blog