Between Stupidity and Wisdom
There’s a name for people who are too stupid to know they are stupid. The Dunning–Kruger effect. Incompetent people are blind to their own incompetence. People who haven’t led think leading is easy. (David Dunning and Justin Kruger were smart enough to research this in 1999.)
You haven’t learned anything unless you’re a fool. Wisdom is always learning. We live between stupidity and wisdom, always.
Wise practices:
#1. Repeat stupidity.
Don’t correct people when they say stupid things. Repeat it. If they see how dumb they sound, there is hope. Try saying, “Maybe I’m missing something. (Repeat their suggestion.) Ask, “How does what you said solve the issue we’re working to resolve?”
#2. Patience isn’t endorsement.
Believe people can be better. Don’t affirm incompetence. Try saying…
- You have more in you.
- That’s good, you can do better.
- What else might solve this?
- If you couldn’t do that, what might you try?
#3. Wisdom speaks with confidence not bravado.
Experience never pretends hard things are easy. Braggarts lead people into disaster.
Confidence is quiet. The voice of experience knows we rise after stumbling.
The voice of experience instructs, protects, affirms, challenges, and smacks you in the face (sometimes all at once).
#4. Folly obsesses.
Wisdom sees its own warts and moves on. We waste away cowering to a loud inner critic.
It’s easier to honor others when you accept your own warts.
#5. It’s about you.
Your responses are about you, not others.
Things that delight you reveal you. Things that irritate you expose your values.
Connect your attitudes and behaviors to the quality of your life. Don’t blame others for the misery you carry. People influence the quality of your life; you determine the final outcome.
Which of the above principles seem most applicable to you today?
Still curious:
How Fools and Novices Gain Wisdom
How to Stumble Toward Wisdom and Find Success
Techniques To Develop Wisdom Over Time
John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. I’m offering a bonus for people who preorder.
The timing of the content in your posts is usually perfect, thank you! I needed this one today.
Thank you, Brenda. Just goes to show if you throw enough stuff against the wall something is bound to stick. 🙂
On #2, I try to start with the assumption that no one wakes up in the morning planning on being an idiot. They have a reason for what they say and do. It may not be a great reason, but it is at least a reason. If I can understand that, I can work with them. And who knows? Maybe their reason is a great one, and I am the one who is off base.
Thank you, Jennifer. You expanded this beautifully. “Maybe they are right!” Now there’s a thought.
I love the idea of repeating stupidity to see if a light bulb goes off or if there is an abyss of darkness. Thank you for this great post.
Thank you, Philip. Better to have someone realize their own stupidity than trying to convince them that their suggestion is stupid. 🙂
Perfect post for a Friday – good time to reset a bit.
Thank you, Karen. A reset helps us begin again and that’s helpful.
The most applicable principles for me today are #3: Wisom & #4 Folly: recognizing the difference. I have yet to meet a good leader who doesn’t struggle with imposter syndrome. I have to constantly battle my inner critic as there is more out there I do not know.
I find that leaning into others is mutually beneficial. Particularly with my direct reports, I find they appreciate discovering where we each have gaps that we can help fill in and where we need outside resources.
Thank you, Ryan. The Imposter Syndrome needs more attention! Transparency and vulnerability combined with forward-facing aspiration offsets the Imposter Syndrome and builds energy and camaraderie.