Our workplaces are full of colliding personalities, some of whom chafe us to our wit’s end. In the best of scenarios, we can have civil conversations with those whose quirks are irritating and help them become more aware of their (likely unintended) effect. And we certainly hope others would do the same for us, giving us the opportunity to change otherwise annoying behaviors.
Forgiving a Difficult Colleague
Make peace with their flaws — don’t stockpile resentment.
March 21, 2023
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Summary.
Forgiveness is a complex and often misunderstood concept. Theologians and philosophers have discoursed for centuries on what it is, when to offer it, and why it’s good for us. But what about those times when someone’s aggravating or offensive behavior is unlikely to ever change? It’s one thing to extend forgiveness to someone who is genuinely remorseful and asks for it, but it’s quite another to impart it to someone who’s not sorry and is likely not going to change. And yet, that may be the most important time to forgive. Because when we harbor resentment, spite, and other negative emotions, the person at whom we aim them isn’t suffering (and is likely oblivious to our feelings). The only one suffering is us. If you need to shore up your capacity to forgive, here’s how to begin.