Dear Dan: Am I Helping or Hindering
Dear Dan,
I am new to a leadership role. I am always trying to determine if I am really helping or hindering my direct reports.
I want to be a successful leader and help people grow, but if they don’t, how do I determine if it is because I am failing as a leader or they are not interested in growing?
How do you fire people without it reflecting on your leadership skills? As in, I couldn’t lead them to success?
Sincerely,
SB
Dear SB,
Great questions. Hiring is one of the most challenging things leaders do. I also respect your concern about the negative perception of terminating an employee you hired.
Helping or hindering:
“How can you tell if someone is failing because you failed, or they don’t have interest in growing?”
#1. Notice patterns.
Do you consistently fail when you help people grow? If you do, then you are the issue. A pattern of success is encouraging. When failure is an exception, you may need to learn how to deal with different kinds of people.
#2. Seek feedback.
When growth seems slow, seek feedback from the person you’re working with. Say, “If you don’t mind, I have some questions about our approach to your development.”
- What am I doing that seems to help you grow?
- What could I do to accelerate your growth?
- What am I doing that seems to hinder your growth?
- What can you do to accelerate your own growth?
Remember their growth is their responsibility, not yours. You can’t grow for someone.
Seek feedback from people you have helped grow. You could use the above questions in the past tense. “What did I do that helped you grow? What did I do that hindered your growth?” You might phrase the developmental question, “What could I have done differently to help you grow?”
Keep your boss informed. Explain your plans. Seek advice.
#3. Avoid distraction.
Sometimes, sincere, caring leaders spend too much time on poor performers. Keep your eye on people who are thriving. Encourage and support them. Things don’t always work as we hope.
Note: When, after reflection, failure to help people grow is a pattern, go back to the drawing board.
Terminating someone without hurting your reputation:
Regarding your reputation as a leader. A track record of success is built over time, don’t worry about an isolated event. If someone brings it up, listen to their concerns. Ask for suggestions. Don’t be defensive. Learn and improve.
Reputation building:
One of the best things you do for your leadership reputation is handle failure skillfully. Overreacting reflects insecurity. Underreacting reflects arrogance. Stay curious and open. Move forward with confidence.
You have my best,
Dan
How can leaders determine if they are helping or hindering?
Still curious:
Solution Saturday: Hired to Get Them In Shape
When Development Works and When to Let them Go
5 Answers for Resistance to Development
How To Terminate an Employee (And What Not To Do)
Author’s note: I suspend my 300 word limit on “Dear Dan” posts.
Comment related to a past post – I realized my new Bombas socks are labeled right and left. I was putting on two Ls and laughed, thinking of your post, and then realized they were mediums. Had to “re-pair” them. Thought you’d get a kick out of this!
That’s funny, Others have shared stories of L/R socks with me. I still laugh at that moment when it hit me. They were large, not left. 🙂
Thanks for spreading the joy.
Another suggestion: get a second opinion. I have twice been in the position of having to consider terminating someone. The first time, I arranged for a peer whose opinion I trusted to review the person’s work and let me know whether I was being unreasonable in my expectations. (Spoiler alert: I wasn’t.) The second time, the office transferred the person to another supervisor along with a corrective action plan that the three of us (the person, me, and the new supervisor) worked out together.
Now, where I work, we have a probationary period of 1 to 2 years (depending on the position and the person’s background). Our HR unit has said time and againt that the probationary period is part of the hiring process. In other words, just because someone passed the interview and was offered the job doesn’t mean they are a good fit for the position or for the company. And you aren’t doing anyone any favors by keeping someone on who isn’t a good fit. Including them.
Thanks Jennifer. It’s good to remember that hanging on to the wrong person is more painful than letting them go.
The second opinion is particularly important. f
The first time I went through this, my supervisor at the time asked me one very important question: Are you okay with this person being your legacy to the office? It helped me put everything into perspective.
I still ask that question whenever I am in the situation of dealing with an employee who isn’t meeting expectations. If I can work with them and answer the question yes, then the investment of time and effort is worthwhile. And so far, the answer has almost always been yes.
Dan,
This is great! Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions! I really value these daily blogs and I have followed for years, even before I was in a leadership role. Your advice is really appreciated!
Hi SB. Thanks for the question. It’s important.
And thanks for your participation and support.
I wish you well.
SB-I really appreciated your question. As an Executive Coach I really love working with leaders who ask the question “How Do I Become a Better Leader?”
Great points! Something I was always taught and came to believe in is that “good organizations know to separate people”. Unless you’re terminating an awful lot of people there is no need to feel bad when someone is separated. Oftentimes it is to their benefit also – they weren’t a good fit for the job. I had a person thank me for terminating her once because she couldn’t bring herself to quit despite the fact that she knew she wasn’t cut out for the job. I was a reference for her in other jobs that were more in line with her skills, plus she was a great person.
Learn to realize you can’t fix everyone! Some people can be coached and taught, others not so much!
Unless you are having major issues with turnover rates ignore the little feuds and win the big picture!
Surely everyone counts unfortunately they also may not feel the same!
I hear the voice of experience, Dale. Always do what’s best for your organization and employees. When someone is cut lose make sure that it’s an expression of serving them as well as the org.