The #1 Thing Bad Bosses Teach Good People
A bad boss is a blindfolded monkey splashing poison. If you haven’t had a bad boss, you probably will. Blindfolded moneys are lethal.
Bad bosses:
- Stifle creativity.
- Increase stress at work.
- Undermine team confidence.
- Lower morale.
- Cause confusion.
- Pit employees against each other.
- Damage company reputation.
- Lose good people.
- Poison relationships.
- Take credit.
- Increase burnout.
- Use blame to prop up their ego.
The above items are painful pebbles on a mountain compared to the worst thing toxic bosses do.
Bad bosses make you forget who you are.
The #1 Thing a Bad Boss Teaches Good People:
Toxic bosses make you wonder, “Why bother?” You want to quit, but you keep going. One day you discover something more energizing than pleasing others.
First you begin pleasing parents, then it’s teachers, friends, and loves, later it’s bosses. People-pleasing turns you to congealed honey. Toxic bosses free you from people pleasing. You don’t care what they think. You learn…
You do what you do because it’s who you are.
You reach high because it’s in your heart.
The journey:
The journey of life is becoming who God made you to be – so you can share the honey.
Learning to become yourself warms life. You find joy in pouring yourself out. The Skin Horse explains the process:
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.”
Toxic bosses teach you to become yourself.
Still curious:
The Secret to Developing Authentic Leaders on Your Team is One Thing
Note: The sentence, “Bad bosses make you forget who you are,” troubles me because it gives bosses too much power. No one can make you forget. It’s better to say they create environments where people forget who they are, but that feels weak. I went with the punch.
This is so good Dan. I have had a poor leaders in my life at times, like we all have. It is those leaders who have helped me become who I am today. They have helped me be secure in who I am, because they are not most of the time, and most importantly, they have helped me to be self-reflective. It it is better for me to work on myself, strengthen my own character, or shed my own issues, then to focus on others. They have cemented in my heart it is far greater to be an example of goodness to those around me than to be like them.
I do appreciate your daily bites of wisdom, I glean so much from your posts. Please continue keep doing what you do, it is a blessing!
-Scott
Your addition of self-reflection is brilliant!! I continue to leader’s benefit from self-reflection practices. Thanks for the good word.
Just have to agree on being who you are…who you are made to be (whilst still looking to hone that). So easy to fall into the trap of comparison – the thief of joy!
Scott, I really loved your contribution to this post. Could not have said it better myself. Self confidence is key to building healthy relationships at work, although we may be challenged in who we are at times, this post was a great reminder of its importance. Additionally, it is amazing what taking a step back and self-reflection can do for us!
Thank you a great read, Dan!
-Megan
Dan this is point on. I had not just a bad boss, but a horrible boss. I experienced the stress, interrupted sleep, the team experienced the bad morale, I lost an exceptional nurse due to the pressure the boss place on this great nurse. BUT….. the team survived and remained committed to our goal, “provide exceptional care to our patients. Finally, the boss is gone but the team remains strong, there was a lot learned during that time. I knew who was my strength, and I knew he had a plan for me. I believe “all things work together for my / our good.” I knew there were things for me to learn and I did learn. I am blessed to lead a strong team, a team committed to each other and to the job we do. Thank you for the wisdom you share each day. Your email is usually one of the first I read each day.
Thanks for bringing up learning. What can we get from difficult situations if we refuse to learn? The lens of learning is useful in every situation, pleasurable or painfu.
It is never very bad or very good for very long. I have recited this many times in my 23 years in Corporate America. “just keep swimming’
As my farmer friend says, “Steady on.”
I needed this reminder today. THANK YOU!
Best wishes as you move forward. Cheers
My first boss was evil. I am grateful to have worked for him. He taught me so much about what not to do. He was aggressive, condescending, incompetent, and took credit for everyone else’s work. I have learned that good leaders are kind, respectful, highly competent, and give away all the credit when things go right and take accountability when they do not.
Just brilliant, John. We probably would do pretty well if we just did the opposite of bad bosses and didn’t do anything too stupid along wit that.
Excellent advice by all. I remember when I was young and had bad bosses and all I could think of was, “If I ever get to that position I don’t want to be ‘that guy!'”
I’ve worked for bad bosses. I learned to be a better boss when given my opportunity based on experiences with good bosses and bad bosses. “I’m going to be good boss like that one, or I’m definitely not going to be a bad boss like that other one.” We learn and develop from our experiences, but it’s important to know who’s a good boss and who isn’t and why one is good and the other isn’t. I’ve experienced the dilemma when some peers say “The boss is good” and others say “The boss is bad.” Who’s right? Good post. Thanks, Dan.
I am and have always been a people pleaser and confrontation defuser. My previous boss appreciated that and set me loose to do what I do best in our company-help others achieve in their jobs as well. Well, she retired. The new boss is the polar opposite-a micro-manager. He seems to resent my helpfulness, even to the point of sending out an email to the other managers to say I am too nice. BUT through the years I’ve learned that this is who I am. He may try, but he won’t change me. I needed this reminder today. Thank you!
Thank you, Dan, for a good post and a good reminder.
What are the four types of bad bosses?
How bad bosses ruin good employees?
Hi Rockee, if you don’t mind, how do you answer your own questions?