15 Questions that Change the Way People Think
Life begins to change when you change the way you think.
- Change the way you think about yourself to extend your potential.
- Change the way you think about others to increase your impact.
- Change the way you think about managing to achieve new results.
- Change the way you think about the future to clarify purpose.
Delayed resistance:
The discomfort of new behaviors drives you to eventually return to familiar habits.
Change feels good – at the beginning – because you haven’t felt the pain of letting go.
It feels good to choose a new direction when you haven’t taken the first step. Eventually, change feels like shoes that don’t fit. Rather than pushing through, we lace up old shoes.
Returning to old habits is circling back to familiar discomforts.
15 Questions that Change the Way People Think
Questions that challenge assumptions change the way people think.
When they say … you ask:
- I’m falling short… What didn’t you do to get here?
- I don’t like them… How might you be like them?
- I can’t… If you could?
- I don’t know… If you did know?
- They screwed up… What if you screwed up?
- They’re wrong… How so?
- I don’t think so… What if you thought so?
- No, you can’t do that… What happens if you say yes?
- I need help… What have you tried?
- It won’t work… What do you want?
- I’m afraid… What’s the bravest thing you can do?
- I’m nervous… If you had confidence, what would you do next?
- There’s too much to do… What are your priorities?
- I plan to do X… How will that help you accomplish your goal?
- Life is out of balance… What does a balanced life look like?
Pushing through is better than retreat, even if it hurts.
What helps people change the way they think?
What’s your favorite question in the above list?
Long ago, I attended a leadership seminar that focused on implementing change. One of the speakers expounded on the “Beckhard change equation,” emphasizing that it is vital for those affected by change to understand the need for change, have discomfort with the status quo and grasp the “vision” of how things will be better, on order to minimize and overcome me resistance to change. The importance of successful “first steps” was also stressed. It is surprising how much our perspective can shift if we just ask -or are asked- the right questions!
Thanks Jim. Love that you shared the Beckhard Change Equation. I’ve seen those steps but never heard the name.
Cheers
My favorite questions from a leadership perspective are:
What have you tried?
Where do you want to end up/What do you think this should look like?
Both questions force people to examine their choices and actions along with their goals.
Thanks Josh. I’m with you on, “What have you tried?” Whenever someone comes for a solution, the question is, “What have you tried.” Another question might be, “What’s the real problem?”
It’s important that we allow people to own their own situation instead of riding in like a savior on a white horse.
OK, you change your shoes. The reason they feel like they don’t fit is because you are wearing two left shoes, both in the wrong size. All the pushing through in the world won’t make this change into an improvement. Know when continuing to push through with the pain of a change is part of the wearing-in process or further steps on the road to crippling yourself.
That’s so true. Glad you added your insights, Mitch.
“My shoes are too tight. But it doesn’t matter, because I have forgotten how to dance.” — Londo Mollari (character from a TV show called Babylon 5).
Good morning folks, Great post today. Dan, the toughest challenge I have is getting everyone on board with the idea that we must make changes to improve. Some like it “as is”. One reason I love these daily posts is the motivation I get from them. Thanks,
That’s true
What a great list of questions. im saving these!
Almost all of them are interesting. It helps me to restructure my cognition. Thank you!