Solution Saturday: Dealing with a Takeover
Dear Leadership Freak,
I started a group for professional men.
While I was away from the group recovering from surgery, two members took over the group. I’m not sure how to handle such a brazen take over. I’m just now getting healthy enough to do something about it, but I’m not sure how to handle this situation.
Help?!
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your email. Here are some suggestions.
#1. Ask yourself who you want to be with this situation in mind. Use this negative situation to bring out your best, not your worst. Sadly, we are often at our worst when we should be at our best.
The first question of leadership concerns being, not doing.
#2. Describe the perfect outcome to this situation. Aim for a clear target.
#3. Define behaviors that move you toward your preferred outcome?
Focus on things within your control.
#4. Define behaviors you want to avoid.
#5. Assume the best, not the worst. What if the takeover was motivated by helpfulness? You make yourself look bad when you assume the worst.
#6. Assume you are still the leader. Send an email to the group, thanking the people who “took over.” Publicly thank them, at the first meeting you are able to lead. Then assume the role you had before your surgery.
#7. Determine how you want people to feel. What behaviors are most likely to illicit those feelings?
#8. Reflect on your journey. What does this situation tell you about you?
#9. What behaviors will make you proud when looking back on this situation?
#10. Transitions in leadership are inevitable. Are the people who stepped in better at leading the meetings? Then, perhaps they should continue. What if your gift is starting things, not necessarily running them?
You have my best,
Dan
What suggestions do you have for Anonymous?
*Some facts have been changed in the content that Anonymous sent.
I would meet with the two individuals. Thank them for their help while you were away. Discuss your plans for moving forward and what roles they might play. There may be parts of meetings or specific topics where each could take a lead role.
Let us know what you do and how things turn put.
Thanks Paul. Wonderful addition to the conversation.
Paul, hit the nail on the head! Meeting the individuals and discuss their intentions. There could be a misunderstood picture being perceived, what they planned and what you perceive as their plan. Ask them straight forward what they would like you to do, are we a team of Leaders or a flock of wandering sheep?
Dear Dan,
I think you have described almost every aspect of taking over leadership role. Yes, behavior is the most important. The reason is simple- it is in our hand, and it shows our intention. Outcomes are assumed in different scenario. Many times, such outcomes tend to deviate from the assumption. But behavior is the indication of system in place. It shows the path and criteria expected from people and leaders.
I would like to add one component here- describe behaviors that are not desirable. More importantly, what behavior attract punishment and in what form. It provides strong message to people. It also provides clear focus and direction. And I always believe in keeping leadership intention very honest and focused. It should be communicated to each and everyone in the system.
Thanks Dr. Gupta. I appreciate your focus on behaviors. I think we often get lost in intentions and forget to focus on things we can actually do.
Dera Dan,
While appreciating the role played by two individuals and thanking them in public, it is necessary to take back the charge. If their intentions are good then their support can be taken further with defined responsibilities. If not some tough actions will be needed with appropriate steps for the desired correction.
One might be required to communicate well and bring the conviction in them to gradually withdraw their level of activities voluntarily. In business kind of situation, one should take the legal support while acting tough.
Thank you Dr. Asher. Thanks for adding your suggestions to take positive action.
The first thing that went through my mind is if you feel the need to lead, you are not the group’s leader. Go back to why you started this in the first place. I assume a “professional group for men” means it is some kind of networking, mentoring or some other kind of support group. If any part of the purpose was to create kinship, leadership and professional standards I’d dare say you accomplished your goal.
Rather than be troubled by it, I’d celebrate it. Invite the two men out for a coffee and thank them for picking up the pieces while you were gone and congratulate them on meeting the mandate of the group and showing leadership. Be genuinely happy for them – and grateful for yourself as you did something right to create an environment where they stepped up. Now that’s leadership!
From there, ask how they see you being involved. Share with them that since they are now leading, and seemingly capable of it, is now the right time for you to take a step back and help the group to get to yet another level. If so, maybe you can work on helping develop others so that they are ready to lead at a future date. You can also discuss with these two gentlemen their own thoughts on how to circulate leadership and create succession plans. After all, now that you’ve demonstrated you can step back they will need to acknowledge they will have to one day as well.
You may need to let it go, to let it (and yourself) grow. Good luck in your journey.
Thanks Alf. Written like a true developer of people. 🙂
Thank God for the recovery.
Thanks Gretiana.
If you hadn’t created it, they couldn’t have taken it over. Sometimes the person who has the idea/starts the project/sets it up isn’t the one to take it forward. Is there another group that needs YOU to start it?
Thanks Mitch. On this note. I’ve noticed that the people who are around the table when something starts may drop out in a year or two. They are replaced by a second group.
Great points. Really helpful tips for budding entrepreneurs like me. 🙂
Thanks Prerak. Best for the journey.
Dear Dan and Gupta
Thank you for your comments as soon I will be taking over an office as a station manager, this will help me in my new office.
Dear Anonymous, I feel your pain but it may not be as bad as you think. Part of leadership is going with the punches, especially when we think something should go one way but it turns another for the good. We have to quiet our ego and ask what’s best for the situation and people involved. You’ll be amazed with the satisfaction you’ll sense if you take the high road with this and support the new leaders. On the other hand if the group is not what your’re looking for, you have the option of starting another one.
I do not think that one should fret over it. The two gentlemen in question might have take over the role to ensure continuity. There is also a possibility that the group could have got a better direction to run .This is not to belittle anonymous. This is also a time for reflection and thanks giving to the two gentlemen who so responsibly discharged the duty. Post surgery , the strength of the body takes time to recover and depending on the condition may not be able to perform at the same level. This brings to the fore the need for developing a good second line while one is at it. There will be no hard feelings thereafter.
I always think your health is your wealth first and foremost. What a wonderful idea you had to start a group for professional men and then in their professionalism they “took over” in your absence ! I think the time has come for you to thank them at your next meeting for stepping up to the mark in your absence and ensuring the group run as normal. That they have shown exemplary leadership traits and now you would like to take the reins back and over an agreed amount of time taking into consideration your full rehabilitation to full health yous will all work on a handing over of the mantle of the group back to yourself with the knowledge that you are working with the most professional of people ……. hopefully 🙂