Feedback is Confusing to Get Right
Of all the challenges managers at all levels face, delivering constructive (and even positive) feedback is near the top of the list. There’s good reason—it’s a confusing topic that even the experts who study human psychology and neuroscience disagree on, despite mountains of research.
Before writing this article, I searched the term “feedback” at Harvard Business Review (tiered paywall) and found 724 articles “free with my subscription.’ After scrolling through several screens of article titles, it’s clear no one agrees on much of anything for this topic. And, for many reading this, I suspect you also have mixed feelings about feedback.
- Constructive feedback is challenging to deliver or receive.
- We fear adverse reactions or worry about damaging relationships when giving feedback.
- And, often, the feedback conversation is muddled, sandwiched, and generally so vague as to confuse the receiver.
- Trust is a factor, and if we don’t trust the feedback giver’s intentions, any potential value evaporates.
Yet, timely, behavioral feedback, delivered correctly in a dialog with clear positive intentions, is a powerful performance coaching tool. The challenge for you as a manager is to hit all those buttons. Here’s guidance to help.
Four Ideas to Help Strengthen Your Feedback Culture and Effectiveness
1. Create a Shared View of the Importance of and Expectations for Feedback
Quality feedback starts with managers building a healthy feedback culture across their groups. Spend time with your team members discussing the importance of feedback and why it needs to flow in three directions: up, down, and sideways.
- Ask your team members to describe how they want to receive feedback from you and each other and discuss the importance of positive intent and authenticity in feedback discussions.
- Let them know you need and want feedback to grow—and then be a model receiver of feedback.
- Develop strategies everyone can use when giving or receiving feedback to minimize emotional concerns and focus on behaviors that impact performance.
2. Agree on a Common Definition for Feedback
Feel free to use or adapt mine:
Performance feedback reinforces behaviors that lead to high performance and help individuals and groups change or eliminate behaviors that detract from high performance.
3. Learn and Use the BIT-Q™ Format
Every quality feedback discussion has a few basic building blocks essential for a successful outcome. My BIT-Q™ formula identifies these and serves as an easy mnemonic to help you plan for and engage in a quality discussion.
B=the observed BEHAVIOR. If you didn’t observe the behavior, don’t give feedback. You can discuss comments and observations from others, but don’t stray into the feedback category based on hearsay, or you’ll slide quickly down a slippery slope!
I=the IMPACT of the behavior on performance (or person).
T=answering the question: Is this the right TIME for this feedback?
4. The Q is Where the Magic Happens
Q=a forward-looking QUESTION to promote a DIALOG. With a nod to Marshall Goldsmith and his concept of feed-forward, the Q here needs to be a question that opens a dialog and, importantly, looks to the future.
One of my favorites guaranteed to defuse tension and move the view to the future is: The next time you encounter this type of situation, what will you do differently to get the outcome you are after?
It often makes sense to lead with: Did you get the results you were after?
This question gets emphasis off the archeological excavation of the past. Instead of the receiver growing defensive about what happened, you can work together to define the future.
The Bottom-Line for Now:
Investing time in educating team members on the importance of feedback to promote high performance and building a culture where it flows comfortably and authentically in all directions are great starting points. Teaching everyone on your team to construct their feedback discussions with the BIT-Q™ framework helps you tap into the positive power of this performance coaching tool.
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Feedback is one of the important topics covered in Art Petty’s Mastering Challenging Workplace Conversations Cohort + Coaching workshop programs. Check here for an upcoming session.
Loving this BIT-Q concept! The Behavior piece is always in my mind when in a feedback situation in my current role, which can be quite tricky. But this model will take those moments to a new level, with the deeper analysis of the situation and the individual involved in the feedback and how to make it into a growth moment. I can imagine it easily applied to planned feedback, but just as useful in those sudden and unplanned feedback moments, especially if practiced. I believe that the BIT-Q model can do wonders to the functionality and performance of our work teams, as it creates a sense of general respect and thoughtful interaction.