Advice to My Younger Self
You see who you are by reflecting on who you were. One way to practice self-reflection is to give advice to your younger self. I’ve done this a few times over the years. I do it to comfort myself by feeling smart.
My self-counsel retains a consistent theme even though time passes.
Advice to my younger self:
#1. Knowing
I’d give advice to my younger self, but it would be futile. He didn’t listen to anyone because he knew everything. And the things he didn’t know didn’t matter. But if I felt foolhardy, I’d say to my thick-headed younger self, “You don’t need to be the smartest most talented person on the field. In fact, you aren’t.”
Confidence with openness surfaces when you get over yourself.
Openness lifts you higher than over-confident knowing.
#2. Winning
My first time at bat was a disaster. I hit a line-drive homerun. After that, I always batted in the top of the hitting lineup. Usually I hit fourth, clean up. I was lucky my first time at bat in Little League. I didn’t learn how to hit until I became a Little League coach.
Don’t swing for a homerun every time.
The need to excel at everything is a leech. The honest way to say you need to be the best at everything is to say you need to be better than everyone.
You carry the indelicate smell of skunk when you must win everything you play.
#3. 10x living
Everything isn’t a competition, but if you must compete live a 10X life.
- Express gratitude 10x when you receive it 1x.
- Show honor 10x when you receive 1x.
- Give love 10X when you receive 1x.
What have you learned with the turning of the calendar?
What I Would Say to My Younger Self
What advice would you give parents of a child or children who are like you were? I have a niece who plays tennis and is very competitive in every aspect of her young life (14 yrs old right now). Studies more than anyone I’ve known, etc. How do you coach or parent on this attribute for best quality of life in the future? Or do you just let them be? After all, you seemed to turn out pretty good! 😉
What a great question. The first thing that comes to mind is sideways, not head-on. When I think about high achievers, you don’t want to drain the drive to excel from anyone. You want them to let themselves be happy.
I wonder if creating a fun graph would bring this to the surface. For a week, keep a record of fun. Record your “fun number” from morning to lunch, from lunch to dinner, and from dinner to bedtime. Use any set of numbers you like. 1-5 or 1-7, or 1- 10.
Noticing fun might bring the topic into richer conversation. What makes something fun? Who are you with, or are you alone? What does fun feel like to you? What does that say about the kind of person you are? Hope to become? How much fun would you like to have on a regular basis? What are people who don’t have fun like? What are their lives like? (I better stop, I’m sure you have a long list of question that come to your mind.)
Feel free to substitute meaningful, or fulfilling, or joyful, or rewarding, for fun.
Just something to think about.
In my own life, reflecting on the quality of my life was an important factor to seeing how I was sabotaging myself.
Hey Dan,
When I think of 10x, I think of my performance or effectiveness.
I love how you’re turning it outward.
In his book “It’s Not About You,” Tom Rath said, “What you put back into this world is built one interaction at a time.”
10x’ing any gratitude, honor and love we receive is a great way to execute that idea.
Hey Abe, Thanks for dropping in today. Your encouragement feels like a warm sun on a windy day. Steady on, my friend.
Another great post about self-reflection! Hitting a home run the first time at bat is usually a one and only…it takes time to have perspective on that!
Thanks Amy, I bet we all have “First time success stories” that were followed by reality. 🙂 … good motivation to stay humble. I will add, motivation to stay humble and practicing humility are connected loosely at best.
Dan,
A question worth considering may be, “What if I’m wrong?” This allows me to pause and consider other points of view and wrestle with them.
Sadly though, my younger self would have scoffed at rhe idea.
The school of hard knocks has been necessary to allow room for such
said considerations.