Everyone Wants 5 Things
At the core, everyone wants 5 things. The only difference is how we describe and pursue what we want.
Everyone wants 5 things:
1. Everyone wants to feel good about their life.
You might feel good about your life because you feel superior. You’re prettier, thinner, smarter, or more successful.
You might feel good about your life for noble reasons. You care about people, or you show up to serve.
Even Stoics, who believe the good life is about logic, feel good about the logical life.
2. Everyone wants to enjoy their work.
I know you want to enjoy work when you’re frustrated that you hate work. One reason you change jobs is the desire to enjoy work.
3. Everyone wants to matter.
You didn’t get up this morning thinking, “I hope I don’t matter.” One reason people contemplate suicide is they feel they don’t matter.
4. Everyone wants fulfilling relationships.
When you feel joy, you want someone to share it with. When you feel angry, you want to tell someone who understands.
You want people to know your name and understand what matters to you.
5. Everyone wants to achieve something.
Gamers want to win. Managers want results. Parents want to raise happy kids. Even Buddhists want to eliminate craving.
Application:
Leaders succeed when they help people get what they want.
“You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Zig Ziglar
Everyone prioritizes the above list in personal ways. Achievement means more to some than others, for example. But everyone wants 5 things.
What would you add to the above list of Everyone wants 5 things?
How might life change if you worked to help others get what they want?
Still curious:
3 Ways to Do What Matters Today
7 Relationship Building Rules for Results-Driven Leaders
The PERMA Model: Your Scientific Theory of Happiness
Absolutely brilliant! A perfect summation of human nature!
Thanks for jumping in this morning Bob. I’ve been reading and learning from your daily emails for a long time. I appreciate the good word.
Dan, Thank you for sharing this thought. It is a brilliant reminder of what we all want and what we can all do for others in a direct and simple format. Here we speak to and work at putting “people” at the center of everything we do, serving as our North Star, and this is a refreshing reminder for our purpose on our journey. I appreciate a good/kind thought to start my day. Best.
Thanks Frank. When I started this post, I wanted to write about the things that we all share. When I got to the end, the Zig Ziglar quote came to mind. Then the lesson hit me. Glad you found it useful.
And yet, Augustine was correct: “Thou movest us to delight in praising Thee; for Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee. – Confessions 1,1.5
This is the underlying want that too many people miss. They think a satisfying life can be achieved apart from the God who made us. Not so.
It comes to mind…when we serve other others we serve ourselves. Many of these 5 are hinged on just that. How much better and happier we are helping than focused on “me”. Love your posts.
Thanks Nancy. Isn’t that great. Life is about contributing. We make our own lives better when we contribute to others.
There is a spiritual component to man. Thanks for bringing that to the conversation.
Great topic! I would further refine to 3 things: 1) Voice: everyone wants their voice to be heard and/or to be allowed to have a voice. 2) Clarity: everyone wants to have clarity and not be confused or in in the dark. 3) Contribution: everyone wants to be allowed to contribute and their contribution to matter.
Thanks for sharing this great insight. I think all of them are interlinked and could be summarised in a sentence. We feel good about our lives when we have a purpose, knowing that we matter to someone, and our thoughts and effort matter. For some, they may somewhat segregate their personal and work lives while others as a whole and could link to their spirituality.
Thanks for summarizing these ideas. I’m always looking for ways to be clear and concise.