Gratitude When You Don’t Feel It
Feelings aren’t the final authority on noble behaviors.
You do the right thing when you feel like doing the wrong thing all the time. For example, you want to share a piece of your mind you can’t afford to lose, but you don’t. That’s maturity, not hypocrisy.
Gratitude is a practice.
Express gratitude when you don’t feel it as long as you believe it’s the right thing to do.
4 ways to practice gratitude when you don’t feel it.
#1. Think about obstacles you have overcome.
The world’s leading expert on gratitude, Robert Emmons, says, “Remembering failures, sorrows, and other painful experiences is more beneficial to gratitude than recalling only the successes.”
Faking positivity hinders gratitude. Don’t forget the bad, remember how far you’ve come.
#2. Simplify a gratitude journal.
When I struggle to come up with five things to write in my gratitude journal it makes me ungrateful.
Don’t write five things in a gratitude journal, write one. If you want to challenge yourself, write one thing in the morning and one thing in the evening.
#3. Ask others about gratitude.
When you don’t feel grateful, ask others what they are grateful for. Better yet, ask, “Who are you grateful to?”
#4. Express gratitude.
Unexpressed gratitude is ungratefulness.
- Lower your expectations. Notice little things.
- Say, “I appreciate you.”
- Say, “I notice xyz. Thank you for doing that.”
What suggestions do you have for expressing gratitude when you don’t feel it?
Still curious:
7 Powerful Ways to Elevate Leadership with Gratitude
The Five Freedoms of Gratitude
A Little Gratitude Goes a Long Way
Good morning, not sure if this qualifies as being grateful or not. But, I sure do appreciate and enjoy these morning posts from Dan.
Seems good to me. I’ve read that the difference between gratitude and happiness is a desire to give back. When we are grateful, we go out in the world and return the gift we have received to others.
It’s important to note that when a giver demands response, it is no longer a gift. It’s offensive to say, “I have a gift for you. Now I want you to do X for me.” We all know that’s not a gift.
You probably didn’t want/need an answer to your question. However, if these posts help you serve others, it’s gratitude. 🙂
We schedule time at the end of meetings with the papers:cards to express gratitude. It helps reset a bit.
Brilliant! Thanks, Laura.
I don’t connect with the idea of practicing something that I don’t feel honestly. That being said, I find that there’s always (ALWAYS) something to be grateful for. Sometimes, it just takes time – sometimes, a very long time (!) – to recognize why.
: )
Thanks for jumping in, DJ. We are all living in this world as recipents of unearned kindnesses. As you say, there is always a reason to be grateful.
The idea that feelings are always trustworthy is perhaps where we differ. In any case, I’m thankful you contributed today.