5 Ways to Help Teammates Navigate Butt Kicks
We all encounter arrogant leaders. You might be one. You probably have one on your team.
Butt kicks are a wake up call for arrogance.
You might be arrogant if:
- Listening is something others should do.
- You’re always right. (Who can always be right? Seriously!)
- You interrupt.
- You reflect on others, not yourself.
- Intolerance is a virtue.
“…Leaders get the most profound, enduring, and transformative leadership lessons from their leadership blunders.” Bill Treasurer, author of, A Leadership Kick in the Ass.
The entry point of humility:
Bill Treasurer says, “Humiliation is the entry point of humility.”
You receive a wake-up call – a butt kick – about who you are and who you want to be. Often it’s an event brought on by your own behavior.
Bill Treasurer – how humiliation transformed a leader:
Anatomy of a butt kick:
#1. Comfortable oblivion – you don’t see yourself.
#2. Startling kick – you receive a wake-up call.
- Negative feedback.
- Demotion.
- Losing good employees.
- Overlooked for promotion.
#3. Choice – you move in one of two directions.
- Entrench and defend – double down on being right and they’re wrong. You try to change them and refuse to change yourself.
- Open and willing – consider your contribution to the butt kick.
#4. Transformation – you change and grow.
The anatomy of a butt kick:
5 ways to help teammates navigate butt kicks:
- Hold the mirror up. Help them see themselves. You might say, “My sense is that you’re frustrated about this. What’s going on for you?”
- Step away from the intensity of the moment. Come back when the person seems more open.
- Reflect on humble leaders they admire.
- Share your own butt kick story.
- What it cost you.
- How you became receptive.
- How it transformed you. Let them know that it’s OK.
- Point out that this is essential to their leadership growth.
How to help teammates navigate butt kicks:
How might leaders successfully navigate their butt kicks?
How might leaders help others navigate butt kicks?
About Bill Treasurer:
In the past two decades, thousands of executives across the globe have attended Bill’s keynotes and workshops. Benefiting from the concepts first introduced in Bill’s bestselling books, participants come away with stronger leadership skills, improved team performance, and more career backbone.
Follow Bill on twitter: @btreasurer
Yep. Good stuff. And it is amazing how people can simply be oblivious to the nature of how they act and the responses it generates. Take our current President, please. How many butt kicks for the lies and distortions are needed in order to generate a change in behavior. DO recognize that there are sociopathologies that underlie many behavioral traits, things that DO make the person insensitive or uncaring as to the results or impacts of their behavior on others.
The reaction of most people to be caught in a lie is to stop. That is not always the case, though.
IN the words of Joseph Heller, “Nothing made sense, and neither did anything else.” (Closing Time)
Thanks Dr. Scott. It is fascinating how difficult it is to see ourselves. I think of my own journey. I think it took half a lifetime to just catch a glimpse of myself. Perhaps the most surprising thing is others often see us more clearly than we see ourselves.
I have been in both roles and can relate to the steps summarized in the post. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Ryan. Yes, I think the only people who don’t see themselves in this post are the ones who are oblivious. Bill has written about a universal leadership experience.
True, I can see myself on both sides of this fence from time to time, or with certain people. This is one that I know will help a lot of people. Thanks !
Dave
Very important post for most of us to understand and cope (for self and for our co-hearts(!))
I constantly year on boss thriving on “giving butt-kicks” – it is definitely not a leadership trait. Success seem to reinforce their tactic of giving more butt-kicks. How can anyone ever give feedback to such persons ? (and should one even attempt? the strategy to cope is (1) to leave the toxic environment or (2) pray a change for boss. the middle path of better alignment is only possible when the butt-kicking boss listens!!
advice?
please ignore mis-spelling:
READ ” I constantly year on boss thriving ”
AS ” I constantly HEAR on boss thriving