The Secrets of Imperfection
You might think it’s awkward but I asked anyway.
“What makes me think you can be a leader?” The person I asked is in their early 20’s with many leadership accomplishments.
Maybe it was part humility, part fear of saying the “wrong” thing, or part sincerely not knowing, eventually they said, “I don’t know.” I said one word, “dissatisfaction.”
Dissatisfaction makes me believe
you could be a successful leader.
Why I said dissatisfaction:
- I wanted to take something others might see as a weakness and make it a component of strength.
- A person satisfied with the present can’t lead. All leaders want to make things better.
- I wanted to encourage them.
Not enough:
Dissatisfaction is the beginning of leadership; it doesn’t guarantee you’ll lead. Many dissatisfied people remain stuck. They never change anything. They comfort themselves by blaming others.
Dissatisfaction destroys people
unless they take responsibility for change.
Make your move:
- Focus on things you control. Move from dissatisfaction with current conditions to identifying and taking imperfect steps toward change.
- Build imperfect relationships and alliances. Make it easy for people to join you. Dissatisfied people aren’t always fun to be around. Our dissatisfaction gets old. Being dissatisfied and feeling alone is nearly unbearable.
- Develop imperfect solutions. The trouble with dissatisfaction is there’s never a satisfying solution.
- Celebrate imperfect progress. If you don’t celebrate imperfect progress, progress always ends. Forget the magic pill. It doesn’t exist.
Don’t let go of dissatisfaction; embrace it.
Deal with an imperfect world, imperfectly,
if you don’t, you’re doomed to become what you despise.
Related post: Walking the Leadership Tightrope
What role does dissatisfaction play in your life and leadership?
How do you deal with dissatisfaction?
I’m going to remember this: Dissatisfaction destroys people
unless they take responsibility for change. Thanks.
Thanks Red, Have a great day.
I have really been working on the “developing imperfect relationships and alliances.” I have been taking more risks recently to reach out to people who seem to share the same passion for leadership and writing… I think I was too scared before that I wasn’t ready enough… or seasoned enough… nothing was “perfect.” What I am finding is that so many people feel the same way and it is much more fun to work together on getting better. We are working on being imperfect together… and in partnership everyone moves more quickly in that direction.
Thanks for sharing your story Karin. I’m learning so much from you and your blog.
Love the expression, “working on being imperfect together.”
Dan,
#4 speaks to me today. If we can’t celebrate imperfect progress, progress always ends. I needed to hear that. In the midst of our work, it seems sometimes like we are going nowhere. It is tempting to throw up our hands and quit. I have to look back a year to recognize that progress has been made. There is that dissatisfaction again.
Dauna
Maybe one of the hardest things to do is celebrate. We don’t see enough progress. We fear celebrating creates complacency. Done well, celebrating fuels progress.
Imperfect progress is better than no progress at all. Your reference to imperfect steps brought to mind the first tentative steps a child makes. They don’t wait until they can walk perfectly to walk; they get up, take a few imperfect, wobbly steps, fall down, get back up and so on until they can walk and then run. Perhaps reverting back to childish behavior now and again is a good thing!
Powerful stuff: “Dissatisfaction destroys people unless they take responsibility for change.” It is the fuel that ignites and powers the leadership engine, but it can also quickly turn to bitterness and victimization if not paired with responsibility. I love this dynamic…it’s like a leadership epoxy 🙂
Thanks, Dan!
Thanks Dan. I love the concept of imperfectly doing imperfect things. I have for years referred to myself as a “recovering perfectionist” and sometimes people look at me and wonder where the recovering is. I guess I’m doing that imperfectly too! So many of my clients are held back from their goals and dreams because of their need to “get it right the first time.” What freedom they find when they allow themselves to take an (imperfect) step and see their movement. Thanks again!
Dear Dan,
I appreciate your concept of dissatisfaction. It is naturally true. While we visualize future by being dissatisfied, we never be satisfied after achievement. It means we make our world in our imagination and make effort to achieve that. In the process, we are dissatisfied unless we achieve it. I appreciate your point about the the secrets of imperfection. Making effort to achieve perfection leads to progress. But when we stop making effort assuming that perfection can not be achieved, leads to frustration. So, the distinguishing factor between frustration and dissatisfaction is direction. Former is backward directed whereas later in forward directed. And effort makes all the difference.
I deal with the dissatisfaction by analyzing my potential and exploring opportunities where I can use my potentials. I also analyze and anticipate the limitation of body and mind. We should understand our imagination has no limitation. So, making imagination real is what leadership all about.
I think your initial statement is right on. A leader is dissatisfied with the current status of things. And he or she will have a vision of how it could be better.
Excellent points, all of them. I also agree with the comments posted by readers. I would add that when you attempt to change due to dissatisfaction, you need to be willing to admit mistakes without blaming other people or things. Only then can you move on. Blaming others is a way of avoiding responsibility. Mistakes (imperfection) are building blocks to success but repudiating them can make you look weak.
Good points. If we are to grow, we need to take responsibility for where we are now and what we want out of life. Then we have to do something about it.
Imperfection,is revered in Japanese culture and termed Wabi Sabi. In art, writing and life in general. Fascinating concept. Respectfully suggest you wiki the term Wabi Sabi. It is a actually a powerful way to live and lead
Great post. “A person satisfied with the present can’t lead. All leaders want to make things better.” There is no such thing as “status quo,” a person, a group or an organization is either getting better or getting worse. Everyone in our organization must be leaders and therefore, can’t be satisfied with the present. Thanks for the great post.
Then what are the essential or core characteristics of highly effective leaders that we need to look for in youth if we want to identify a cadre of high potential distinguished future leaders? Here is our short list of the five signature characteristics that we believe are indispensable characteristics in kids that predict to later success as leaders: keen problem solving ability; comfort with ambiguity, stress, and anxiety; skill in managing conflict, disagreement and differences of opinion among peers; honesty; willingness to work harmoniously with others, including kids from different backgrounds and dissimilar viewpoints; and openness to experience. We want and expect our leaders to inspire trust, be principled, get us through difficult times and situations, solve highly complex and seemingly irresolvable and hopeless crises, and keep us on a chartered path toward a better life. Courageous and brilliant leadership does not require Einstein-level creativity or IQ. But it does necessitate a person who is curious and is open to experience and different points of view before making decisions that touch the lives of very many people.
Reread this post this morning and I’m glad I did. It’s a wonderfully succinct description of the differentiating characteristic of the best leaders I’ve experienced in my career. I think everyone’s dissatisfied at some level. The good leaders use that to make change. The poor ones allowed it to make them bitter, or to make others bitter. Well done.
Thanks for the good word, Mike. Best wishes for today’s journey.