7 Tactics to Solve Drama at Work
Troublemakers are smart, manipulative, and self-serving.
Drama at work means:
- Hot situations get hotter.
- Difficult situations become more painful.
- Confusing situations seem unsolvable.
It’s impossible to imagine the tiny offenses that bother thin-skinned dramamongers.
They say:
- He looked at me wrong.
- I can’t like you if you like him.
- Her work makes me look bad.
The ability to make molehills into mountains is a troublemaker’s delight.
People at the center of drama at work:
- Weaken relationships. Dramamongers use conflict to strengthen their power.
- Take offense quickly, easily, and frequently. The person you’re dancing around uses drama at work to control you.
- Gather allies and expect you to choose sides.
- Pretend they love you when they hate you.
- Manipulate behind the scenes instead of speaking up.
- Recruit the gullible to do their dirty work.
- Smile in your face and secretly tear you down.
- Suck the life out of hard-working team members.
- Seduce you to speak ill of the boss and tell the boss what you said, for example.
- Expect others to change but never change themselves.
7 tactics to solve drama at work:
- Notice energy drains in your organization.
- Don’t ignore recurring tensions. Anticipate problems. Act quickly.
- Record their complaints for a month and repeat the list in their 1:1. How would you like to address this?
- Don’t negotiate with backstabbers. They’re glad when you look bad.
- Go public. Dramamongers love secrecy.
- Maintain a solution-orientation.
- Isolate troublemakers if you can’t remove them.
Tips:
- Everyone who feels upset isn’t a troublemaker.
- Healthy disruption is a good thing.
Forgiveness isn’t a strength for thin-skinned people. Normal people get upset from time to time but work through it.
If a troublemaker isn’t stirring the stink now, they’ll be causing drama soon.
What do you notice about drama at work?
What are some ways to deal with troublemakers?
Still curious:
Drama and Who Broke the Media Projector
Stop Workplace Drama – Marlene Chism
Hey Dan: If you want to know if this is a timely topic — it’s 7:15 a.m. here in NY and this is the 3rd article I’ve read this morning about conflict at work. Having just come off such an HR Investigation, your observations and tips are spot on!. Assume every statement has a bit of truth, a bit of stretch, and some a bit of larceny. Mgmt. can’t tell staff to ‘work it out among yourselves, you’re all grown-ups’ — we need to end it. Hopefully we resolve the situation so there is, minimally, professional interactions among staff, or else we need to take steps that preserve the workplace. Have a wonderful weekend!
Thanks Mary. One thing is sure. If you ignore it. Conflict goes viral. Telling some people to work it out on their own is like telling a group of hungry toddlers to share one ice cream cone. It aint gonna be pretty and most of the ice cream will be wasted.
Dan, I’m concerned that many of the behaviours you list are in fact valid ways to respond to micro-agressions based on race, ethnicity, gender and more. Sometimes people who have faced discrimination every day of their life seem to be over-reacting to what others see as minor. Labelling them as trouble-makers is a way for the others in their organization failing to fix their biased culture.
Thanks for jumping in, Jane. You bring up an important topic.
Your comment reminds me that organizations are better when they equip people to disagree constructively and create environments where it’s safe to speak up.
Making allowances for people who don’t know how to respond to micro-agression may be necessary in the short-term It seems short-sighted as a long-term strategy. It feels better to bring it up, train people – leaders/managers in particular – to communicate well.
All my posts are inadequate. The best I could do here was say everyone who feels upset isn’t a troublemaker. Frankly, disruption is healthy and necessary.
Complaints, unlike wine, don’t improve with age. Many drama mongers are rehashing perceived slights from years ago. Which you can’t fix. Unless you own a time machine. (If you do, let’s talk, I have some thoughts about how to use it better than fixing the drama mongers’ perceived slights.) Letting them vent accomplishes nothing. So don’t let them.
Thanks Jennifer. I love a well-turned phrase. “Complaints, unlike wine, don’t improve with age.”
The difference between venting and moving an issue forward is night and day.
What if the “Dramamonger” is our HR at our location? How do you stop that? She has continued to drag the Branch manager and all managers into her drama? She loved me going public, so she could drag more trash out the history bag to make sure you were the bad person. I refuse to play, that only angers her more. Now what?
Hi Dan,
Thanks for the reminder that I will not miss dramamongers (love that, BTW) when I retire in less than 35 weeks!
Congratulations Civil! I wish you well in the next chapter of your life.