Be a Leader in Two Seconds
The more you’re respected the less you need to say and the more power you have.
You can earn respect while you’re speaking if you speak with compassion, integrity, and competence.
People feel compassion when your words align with their needs. People see integrity when they believe you’re speaking for the good of others. People see competence when you answer challenges with selfless finesse.
A tiny sentence spoken by a respected person powerfully changes things. For example, two words composed of 6 letters – “You can” – both, energize and enable.
It takes less than two seconds to say, “You can.”
I’m scheduled to call Doug Conant CEO of Campbell’s Soup – January 2002 to July 2011. He’s widely heralded for turning around Campbell’s during its declining years. Doug’s book, TouchPoints, advocates for the power of brief, carefully structured, highly focused exchanges.
Sometimes a few words spoken in a few seconds make all the difference.
Last night, I watched Doug’s 12 minute video, “My Most Memorable TouchPoints.” In it, Doug explains how ten brief encounters changed him. He lists 10 phrases – 59 words – that made all the difference.
- You can do better.
- Welcome to Minnesota.
- Give it all you’ve got.
- You should look for another job.
- I’m so proud of you.
- Your job has been eliminated.
- How can I help?
- He never knew when he was licked so he never was.
- I’m here.
- How is your pain?
You matter. Your words matter.
Speak with compassion, integrity, and competence. If you do, regardless of your position, title, age, gender, or race, two words describe the result – you’ll lead. (Does a contraction count as two words?)
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What brief encounter changed you?
What short expressions do you use to encourage or challenge others?
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Come back tomorrow to learn from Doug Conant.
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Funny how few words really can make the difference. I remember going in for a job-performance review, when I was a project lead for a civil works project to repair a dam. I had prepared a long laundry list of things that I wanted to accomplish to discuss with my boss. After I had finished reviewing the list with him, he said, “I want you to put at the top of the list, Fix The Dam!” I was taken aback, but realized that I had left that out! Those words surely brought a singular focus to my project. I will never forget it.
I think this post is so powerfully true because we under-estimate how much time our people spend interpreting what we say. Sometimes they disect and discuss what was simple a casual comment, looking for meaning. Clear, concise, unambiguous statements carry a punch because they don’t require reading between the lines.
I remember a time when a team came down from headquarters to inspect my company. We received bad marks in one area, due to an under-performing soldier. The colonel in charge of the inspection team pulled me aside and said one thing: “Son, keep fertilizing the garden, but sometimes you have to pull the weeds.” I took his advice, transferred the soldier out, and saw an immediate improvement. I had one “weed” who was choking the performance of my good soldiers.
A line I use frequently when supervisors complain: “I’d be worried if I didn’t have you here to handle it.” It’s just a little reminder of my confidence in them, and that problems are their job.
Dear Dan,
You are important. It is the powerful motivator to people. I agree that words are powerful motivator, but when actions are aligned with words, then it has multiplier impact. There are many brief encounter in my life, that influenced me positively, Some of them are related to my perception and fear. When people reacted me opposite to what I usually had perception, that influenced and changed my perception. It was positive and negative both.
I challenge others by supporting their views and ideas. I encourage them by showing belief in them. I encourage them by saying that ” You are important”. etc.
I believe it is all about showing belief in others. People have leadership attributes. They need support, appreciation of others. The most important element of leadership is creating trust in the transaction. When you are able to create trust, it becomes easy to transform others.
Ajay, I think your words “You are important” hits right at the heart of the most basic need people have: To feel like they matter and what they are doing matters. Thanks for the reminder.
I really like Doug Constant’s list. It’s so true – words speak volumes.
I have always responded well to , “You go, girl!” or a simple “WOO! HOO!” to a success. And ” Thank you for your wisdom.” I have said the same things to others and have observed the same sort of positive impact on them.
Great post Dan and sounds like another great book to read and will definitely watch the video. I am keeping this post as I love all of the phrases including the one Greg mentioned since my wife and I love to garden! 🙂 A phrase one might add that I use with a lot of regularity when I have issues with one of my “soldiers” and you have heard me say this before is: “I have a problem and I need your help.” This has served me well on more than one occasion. Another two phrases also mentioned in the past are : “It takes ten years to build trust and 10 seconds to lose it.” and lastly “It is easier for me to climb a hill than a mountain.” This last statement I share with all new recruits to encourage them to bring me issues earlier better than late and not to let anything fester. Lastly and again to encourage folks that “failure is only a stop to success” as someone else said, “there is no such thing as negative feedback.” Cheers, 🙂
Al, you remind me of another of my favorites from another great military mentor: “It’s only failure when you don’t get back up.” Of course, he also was fond of saying (tongue in cheek), “It only takes a minute if you leave it to the last minute.” He usually said that to let us know he knew how little effort we’d put into something.
“It only takes a minute if you leave it to the last minute.” That one is a killer…………..thanks for sharing.
Great post! Thanks for posting it. Just took two seconds in an exchange with a colleague of mine following your advice and found the approach to be extremely rewarding for both of us. The “You Can” suggestion goes a long way when facing a challenge that seems a bit too big for comfort.
Something I learned a few years ago – perception is reality.
It took me awhile to realize that the power rested with me…I had to change how others perceived me. Only I could do that.
“Suck it up”. It hurt when it was said, but it was deserved. I was whining about some inconsequential thing between classes in university and a friend of mine said it to me. I was mad at the time, but it has stuck with me. I’ve never really had the need for a “pity party” since.
Heh, my boss has been known to say that to me.
Excellent video Dan, thanks for the connection! This also speaks to the power of a word or two. At the same time, speaks to the visual power of the spoken word. While written here, definitely has an impact, the video takes up a few notches…
Particularly connected with touchpoint #3 because he elaborated with ‘lean in with intensity’ We can always lean in to a conflict, issue, opportunity, but to lean in with intensity speaks to so many underlying strengths…passion, commitment, integrity…
Great way to start the day!
(Being ever so concrete, I even got a chuckle out of your line, “I’m scheduled to call Doug Conant CEO of Campbell’s Soup – January 2002 to July 2011.” I imagined you talking to Doug for 9+ years.)
This was really wonderfull, Don! Thank you – thank you – and one more time – Thank you! Just what I needed. It alligned so perfectly with my day at work. It’s devine.
Dan: As always, a great post. My favorites are “How can I help?” and “I am here.” The first lets people know that I genuinely care, and the second let’s them know that I’m not going away – when they choose to come to me, I will always be there. These phrases have served me well at work, and at home.
I enjoyed this post. For short expressions, I try to point out the little things for which people may not earn a certificate, trophy, or BIG recognition, but things that will help them know I noticed and appreciated, such as a customer service person who was particularly patient or expressed enthusiasm about their product.
I suppose a brief encounter that has stuck with me over the years (and continues to mystify even though I liked it) was a priest I met when I was in college. He didn’t speak English as a first language, and I don’t recall what brought us together, but he looked me in the eyes and said, “you have a gentle spirit.” That’s a good thing but at times in my career when I have needed to be more forceful or confrontational, a little voice in the back of my head sometimes says, “why try? you know you are gentle by nature.”
Very enlightening video.. I plan to use the lessons shown (a couple of which I already knew but had forgotten about!), and also look forward to identifying my own personal touchpoints and remembering to use them too….
Dan:
I’m intrigued by this sentence: “People see integrity when they believe you’re speaking for the good of others.”…Left my brain itching.
My gut says people see integrity when the tongue in your mouth and the tongue in your shoe are aligned. When they feel in their gut that one is credible and what one says is true and aligned with who one is being, then they see integrity.
Believe may be the operative word in your sentence. I realized during my brain itch that I believe in another’s integrity when they reveal WHY they are doing something for the good of others. Understanding another’s self-interest, especially when they are willing to reveal it, does more to presence integrity than just about anything else a person can do in regards to others.
At least for me, it does. How about you?
Athena,
Love your metaphor of mouth and shoes and agree. Integrity is the alignment of our mouth with our actions.
The idea I focused on was more about the intention behind our words. People question our integrity when they wonder if we are acting out of self-interest at the expense of others.
I think we are on the same field perhaps looking from different ends.
I’m thankful you jumped into this conversation to add your thoughts and insights.
Best,
Dan