5 Simple Rules for the Day
Treat yourself with more respect than a squirrel. Stop chasing the next nut.
Squirrels wake up thinking about nuts. If you love jumping from one thing to the next, rise above distraction. Choose five simple rules for the day.
You’re a nut when chasing the next nut dominates your mind.
5 simple rules for the day:
#1. Don’t interrupt.
Listening is hard work for you, but it feels like respect to others.
Many leadership struggles vanish when people feel heard. Every time you interrupt someone you make leadership more difficult.
#2. Don’t finish sentences for others.
Smart people need patience to listen. You know what someone is going to say before they say it. Or at least you think you do.
You don’t look smart when you finish someone’s sentences. You actually seem disinterested and impatient.
#3. Ask a question before you make a statement.
Change the reason you listen. Most listen to respond. Listen to ask a question that moves the conversation forward.
- Gentle curiosity proves you’re interested in people. When you’re interested in others you become interesting to others.
- Listening to ask a question forces you to pay attention.
- Curiosity is a platform for powerful responses.
#4. Confirm you understand by summarizing and restating.
Do things that help people feel heard. When people feel heard they feel…
- Respected.
- Understood.
- Supported.
- Motivated.
People feel good about themselves AND you when you pay attention. You seem smart when people feel you hear them.
#5. Smile, breathe, and notice the person standing in front of you.
Emotions are contagious. When you relax the people around you tend to relax.
Tip: Introverts look way too serious when they think. Try to lighten up a bit. Perhaps smile once in awhile. Nod. Raise your eyebrows.
Warning: A listener who is too relaxed seems disinterested and overconfident.
Which simple rules seem most important to you?
What simple rules might you add?
Still curious:
4 Steps to Manage a Manager Who Can’t Communicate
Leadership Communication: 10 Reasons to Shut Your Mouth Before it’s too Late
Tune into my Recent Feature on the Remarkable Leadership Podcast!
I am a guest on The Remarkable Leadership Podcast, hosted by my friend and best-selling author, Kevin Eikenberry.
This podcast features guests who share inspirational advice and stories that help leaders see the world differently, lead more confidently, and make a bigger difference.
You can listen to the episode right now by visiting http://remarkablepodcast.com/episode402.
I enjoyed this opportunity to share my thoughts on leadership and I would love to hear your thoughts after you’ve had a chance to listen.
Be present.
Thanks, Paul. If being present is paying attention to what’s in front of you, it cures many ills.
mentally, physically and emotionally..
Maybe it is just because I am working with a group of colleagues where rapport has been built… but there are times where we really feel heard when our conversation buddy is able to finish our sentence, particularly when one of us is struggling to remember the perfect word and the other knows exactly what we are trying to say. It can be an exciting moment of being in synch.
Wonderful insight! There’s something useful about being with people who understand us and we understand them.
A wise woman once told me ‘be where your feet are’ it has stuck with me and I try hard to practice this every day.
Powerful strategy, db.
Shun grandiosity. Just working with big ideas doesn’t make me a big person.
Answer simply. Use the smallest words and metaphors needed to communicate, not entertain myself.
Thanks Robert. Perhaps we should say that big words reflect small minds. I know it’s not always true, but I liked typing it. 🙂
Don’t multitask during an in-person meeting. Your inbox can wait.
Thanks Rosemarie. Don’t come to the meeting if you plan to insult everyone by ignoring them while you do your own thing.
GREAT reminder!!!
Thank you, John.
Hello Dan,
What a great post. I must admit that I have made, and sometime still make many of these mistakes.
Thanks Jay. I hear you! Welcome aboard.