It may not pay to be nice in the workplace. A new study finds that agreeable workers earn significantly lower incomes than less agreeable ones. The gap is especially wide for men.
The researchers examined "agreeableness" using self-reported survey data and found that men who measured below average on agreeableness earned about 18% more—or $9,772 more annually in their sample—than nicer guys. Ruder women, meanwhile, earned about 5% or $1,828 more than their agreeable counterparts.
"Nice guys are getting the shaft," says study co-author Beth A. Livingston, an assistant professor of human resource studies at Cornell University's School of Industrial and Labor Relations.
The study "Do Nice Guys—and Gals—Really Finish Last?" by Dr. Livingston, Timothy A. Judge of the University of Notre Dame and Charlice Hurst of the University of Western Ontario, is to be presented on Monday in San Antonio, Texas, at the annual meeting of the Academy of Management, a professional organization for management scholars, and reported in The Wall Street Journal on August 15,2011. The study is also forthcoming in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The researchers analyzed data collected over nearly 20 years from three different surveys, which sampled roughly 10,000 workers comprising a wide range of professions, salaries and ages. (The three surveys measured the notion of "agreeableness" in different ways.) They also conducted a separate study of 460 business students who were asked to act as human-resource managers for a fictional company and presented with short descriptions for candidates for a consultant position. Men who were described as highly agreeable were less likely to get the job.
For men being agreeable may not conform "to expectations of 'masculine behavior,'" the researchers write in the study. People who are more agreeable may also be less willing to assert themselves in salary negotiations, Dr. Livingston adds.
Since the culture at most companies has been shaped over time by male executives, women are at a disadvantage when it comes to gender-based differences in communication styles.
A report, "Women and Men in U.S. Corporate Leadership: Same Workplace, Different Realities?", by Catalyst, a New York-based nonprofit, found that 81% of women said that "adopting a style with which male managers are comfortable" is an important or very important strategy to advance one's career.
However, Pat Heim says, "You don't have to act like a man to succeed in business, for you will always be judged as a woman." If you're feeling incapable as a woman in the workplace these days, you're not alone.
Is gender really an issue that we should be discussing in the 21st Century? Are men and women really that different? Didn't the feminist movement that began in the 70s answer that question?
Yes, our gender, personality and communication style (developed over time as a mixture of genetics and experiences) has an impact on interpersonal relations at work. As Catalyst discovered, gender-based stereotypes in business continue to endure and limit opportunities for women to advance in the workplace or achieve their potential. We unintentionally respond to people in ways that elicit from them the very behaviors that confirm our stereotypes. One of the reasons is that what we look for, we find.
For example, if you are always nice in the workplace and agree to take on all the work that is sent your way, you may just receive even more work versus a raise in salary or promotion.
You Must Prioritize
Good managers of their time and energy know how to prioritize. What separates them from everyone else is their ability and willingness to define "what's important." Their answer offers a clear path of action. When we have a clear sense of our personal purpose, we can identify which things to say "no" to.
Communication styles rooted in childhood training or unconscious beliefs can be tough to change. A first step is becoming aware of how you talk and act at work. Here are some pitfalls that women especially can encounter in the workplace:
--using too many words to deliver serious messages
--downplaying your contributions
--using vague language
--phrasing statements as questions
--using an upward inflection at the end of statements, which indicates doubt.
Working with an executive coach can help you to be clear on the communication style at your level within the company and to confidently practice this style so you can remain nice but also be heard at work.
Since each of us has been given the gift of choice and the power to act, you are encouraged to take the time to complete a variety of workbook exercises which will help to determine your passions, purpose, and priorities in order to achieve the fulfilling life you want.
To reclaim your time and life: "When Doing It All Won't Do: A self-coaching guide for career women" by Barbara McEwen & John G. Agno.
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