Don’t Rush to Set Personal Goals for 2024
It’s a waste of time to set personal goals before you define personal success. Goals need to serve something higher than achievement.
Define personal success:
The biggest failure in goal setting is making a bunch of goals. Goals are a collection of ‘shoulds’ when made before you define success. My coach tells me to stop ‘shoulding’ on myself.
What is success for you? Forget about your inner critic for a minute. Forget about doing stuff. How do you define meaningful living? Here’s a hint. A meaningful life is more than money, fun, and losing weight.
Pursue meaning if you want to be happy.
Choose personal goals that affirm who you are:
Relationships matter to you, set relationship goals. Date your spouse twice a month, for example. If you’re an introvert quiet-time goals make sense. If you like organizing your life, make long-term plans. If you are spontaneous, don’t lock yourself down too much.
Goals that align with character energize.
Choose personal goals that express who you aspire to become:
Who you become is more important than what you do.
Listen to your inner critic for a minute. Is she shouting that you’re too stressed? Make aspirational goals about dealing with stress. (Click here before you make a dumb goal about less stress.) Is your inner critic saying you worry too much? Set a goal that answers worry. How will you learn to trust people?
Aspirational goals require discipline.
The worst thing you can do is ask what you want to do before you define who you aspire to become.
Before you set personal goals for the new year:
- Define personal success.
- Choose goals that affirm who you are.
- Choose goals that express who you aspire to become.
Do you set goals for the new year?
What process do you use?
Still curious:
4 Ways to Lead Yourself into a New Year
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Thanks, Dan.
Can you share some question / coaching prompts you use with people who struggle formulating goals?
Happy holidays!
Hi Joe, You ask an interesting question.
It would be useful to explore the struggle before setting out to solve it. I might begin by asking, what’s important about not setting goals for you? Some people value spontaneity. You might explore goals that facilitate spontaneity.
Possibilities beyond loving spontaneity might be fear of failure or fatigue.
Another avenue might be working on a personal definition of success and then tracking goals to that definition. This little exercise might help.
Imagine 2024 is over. You’re leaping with joy. 2024 was a stunning success. Your hands are raised. You’re having a party with your closest friends. All your friends are cheering your great year.
Who is at the party?
What are they saying to you?
The above exercise gets people out of their own head.
Another version of the exercise would be to exclude all the party goers and exploring how you might congratulate yourself.
One final thought on the above exercise. Don’t rush. Get into the feeling of a great year. Perhaps do the exercise three times on three different days. Keep a notebook handy. Many people like to rush to conclusions. Sometimes my job is to help them slow down.
Just a few thoughts off the top of my head.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family.
Set personal goals that are yours, not what someone else thinks you ought to have as goals.
Absolutely. The voice in our head is often someone else telling us to do something. Seems like a formula for disappointment.