10 Questions Reveal Trustworthy Leaders
Be trustworthy if you aspire to matter in the world.
“Earn trust, earn trust, earn trust. Then you can worry about the rest.” Seth Godin
10 questions:
How do your team members answer the following questions when they think of you?
- Would your team members recommend you as a boss for a family member?
- Can people count on you to have their backs?
- Do you understand each team member’s aspirations and goals?
- Will you show up when someone needs you?
- Are people confident you protect their confidence?
- Do people believe you are fair?
- Will you freely share information?
- Do you have a hidden agenda?
- Are they sure you will never throw them under the bus?
- Will you give them credit for their ideas?
I prefer questions that begin with “how” or “what”. But trust is fundamentally a “yes” or “no” issue. You either trust someone or you don’t.
5 Simple ways to be trustworthy:
#1. Listen to people.
The best way to be trustworthy is to understand people. Let them know you’re listening.
- Calm your spirit when others are talking.
- Indicate you’re listening, nod and look at them.
- Give your attention. Turn off distracting notifications.
- Sit or stand with an open posture.
- Clarify understanding by repeating what you hear.
- Don’t interrupt!
- Listen to understand. Don’t judge.
#2. Under-promise and over-deliver.
Trustworthy leaders keep promises. Optimistic commitments make you untrustworthy.
#3. Stay within your strengths.
Own your weaknesses. Don’t pretend you know when you don’t. Don’t pretend you can when you can’t.
#4. Apologize.
Surprising sentences that convince people you are trustworthy:
- I was wrong.
- I screwed up.
- I made a mistake.
- I apologize.
- Will you forgive me?
#5. Love people.
Always strive to advantage others, even when it’s painful for them or you.
Which of the 10 questions do you find most revealing?
What suggestions do you have for being a trustworthy leader?
Still curious:
The Top 5 Tips for Building Trust and Multiplying Impact
Active listening helps people trust you
Dear Dan,
‘Listen to People’ can be the best way to get recognized as a trustworthy leader. Remain truthful and supportive to your team to win their confidence. The team will get committed to deliver once they find a good trust in their leader. However, the leader has to be consistent and caring to build the right spirit to perform and excel. It takes years to become trustworthy. May be a good transparency and consultation in official dealings help in winning the hearts of people.
Thanks, Dr. Asher. Your reflections are affirming and remind me of the challenge of being trustworthy. The word “earn” applies.
Trust is the coin of the realm – George Schultz.
Thanks, SJ. Your comment caused me to search for George Schultz. I cam up with this Washington Post article where the quote is mentioned.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/12/11/10-most-important-things-ive-learned-about-trust-over-my-100-years/
The article was dated 12/11/2020. Shultz turned 100 on 12/13/2020
I think #2, #8, and #9 are very powerful “trust builders.”
“Live my values” and follow through on my commitments” are the two foundations of trust for me.
My apology go-to is inspired by Homer Simpson – “D’oh!”, followed by, “My bad”. (And a forehead smack, at times.)
Great post about the importance and value of trust. To the point about it being earned and it taking years, the reverse is not true. How quickly trust can be destroyed if an answer to one of your 10 questions is insincere. It seems that a person’s values and character are intertwined with others ability to trust in them. Weak character – loss of trust when mistakes happen. Strong character – ability to continue to trust when mistakes happen.
For #2 and #3, the statement “I can’t [DO X] because [Y]” goes a long way in helping establish and maintain trust. It tells the other person what your limits are in an open and transparent way. It also keeps you from over-promising what you can’t deliver.
Thanks Dan, I appreciate this post. Trusted leaders get things done (through others). End of story. It’s as complex as this and as simple as this.
regards, Peter
ps: Thanks, as always, for all your work. For me, this is one of the best websites on the net.