Shaping Influences Make You
Everything you will become began with others.
Your parents are the first shaping influence in your life. Many others followed. Teachers, friends, coaches, mentors, bosses, co-workers, even brief interactions with strangers contribute to who you are becoming.
Shaping influences:
#1. You are who you are in relation to others.
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;”
#2. You are who you are because of your response to others.
Responses to wrongs and offenses shape you. Forgiveness enlarges you. Resentment diminishes you.
Even the people you don’t like shape you.
Your response to praise tests you. Taken poorly, praise grows into the illusion of self-sufficiency. You begin thinking, “I’m ‘all that.’”
Your response to challenge strengthens or weakens you. Turn from challenge and you grow a little weaker. Habitually turn from challenge and apathy sets in.
Responses shape you.
#3. You are who you are because others saw something in you.
There was a time in your life when the confidence of another set you free. They helped you dare.
Confidence is connected to the crowd that stands with you.
#4. You are who you are because someone corrected you.
The lens you use to see yourself is foggy and distorted. Perhaps you magnify your self-importance, or you dimmish yourself.
If you’re fortunate, someone cleaned your lens and helped you see yourself more clearly. They brought up self-defeating behaviors or confronted inconsistencies.
You need others to see yourself.
Made rich:
I’m reflecting on the people who make me rich. Some are local and long-term friends. Others I’ve never met in person. One is my high school sweetheart.
Becoming your best self is done in connection, not isolation.
How have others shaped you?
How might you contribute to the shaping of others?
You are so correct, Dan! Everyone we met/interact with in our lives contributes to who we are, who we will become, and how we treat and serve people. And we have the same effects on them! Thanks you for all you do, all you post and all your answers to our responses! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your Family!!!
Tremendous post Dan. I have a mentor that I have met in person maybe a dozen times over the years. The days we met online, I awake with anticipation “what will I learn today”. Pondering this post, a second grade teacher that gave such positivity comes to mind also. Merry Christmas
Dan, so many in my life who have made me but the most influential was my Maternal Grandmother Elizabeth. At age 8 in 1920 she lost her twin Brother and her Mother to the Spanish Flu epidemic. She never wavered or gave up because of that and always had a close fulfilling relationship with Jesus and she shared that with her three daughters, one grandson (me) and two granddaughters along with any people she knew in the community. She and Grandpa Simon welcomed everyone including my other Grandparents Anthony and Maria. She was always so positive and always had reading material ready for me when we visited (Readers Digest, Guideposts Magazine and all the books of Norman Vincent Peale). After I graduated HS (1975) until her Death in 2003 she would hand write me a letter every quarter telling me about life at home and how she was praying for me and my family and how her relationship with Jesus formed her life’s journey. After her death I found out she had started praying for her future Husband, Children, and Grandchildren daily shortly after her a brother and mothers death in 1920. She was and will always be the number one rock behind me and my family. I feel her today and will be honored to flee into her arms upon the next time I meet her.
Dan, this is powerful. It reminds me to consider (and be thankful for) all the influencers in my life, past and present. It also gives me pause as I consider who/what I will invite into my life in the future. And then it leads me to consider how I influence others – how do I speak into the lives of others? Is it encouraging, strengthening, confidence-building? Do I set others free? And then how do I correct others when such is needed? I’m afraid sometimes I’ve been overbearing, short, and ill-timed. But God can even use my shortcomings for the good of another.
Thank you for your influence in my life. Merry Christmas!
How have others shaped you?
Many have taken time to teach me, with the return in seeing me mature.
Parents, Grandparents, Cousins, eachers, Clergy, Freinds and anyone I missed.
Their patiance and guidance have made life a great journey.
How might you contribute to the shaping of others?
Always be humble and kind!
Maintain your values learn humility and Candor along the way.
“Tell it like it is” as a straight shooter will earn Respect frrom those you associate with.
If you make a mistake “Own it”, then fix it> (We all make them)
Always “Be Prepared”, ever so thankful to muy Boy scout days, the lessons never stop.
Thank you to my cross country coach “relax and oush” will get you through any trying day.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and others.
May your celebration in your beliefs be joyous.
Dan, Love your comment, “Forgiveness enlarges you. Resentment diminishes you.”
How might you contribute to the shaping of others?
–Be a positive role model
–Ask the right question to frame the right problem or opportunity
–Help people clarify their goals
–Set high standards
–Practice continuous improvement–keep learning
–Be an encourager and cheerleader
–Remove obstacles and distractions
–Celebrate small and big successes
–Hold people accountable
Merry Christmas! Wishing you a Happy and Healthy 2022.
I love this, but from a diversity and inclusion perspective. We are quick to judge others without understanding their story. That story was shaped by the people they’ve interacted with throughout their life. If you’re not willing to invest in their story, to understand what may have shaped their behavior or opinions, you’re robbing yourself of challenging your own perspective, thus avoiding an opportunity to potentially reshape your own personal story.
I absolutely LOVE this! This time of the year is a great time to reflect on the gift of mentoring that others have given us over the year! I think you absolutely nailed it with all four points! I would offer one other consideration!
I believe at the moment of conception that a loving Creator rolled His thumbprint across our being, creating a spirit who is uniquely “me” in every situation… and with that special creation God creates a platform, a foundation or canvas for others to continue to add to as the person grows, learns and matures!
On a side note, I was able to call MY mentor this morning and thank him for all he has done over the years to pour into my life and ministry! Because of his influence in my life, 20 years ago I began a project, a workbook for more experienced ministers to use in a weekly or monthly meeting with a younger, less experienced minister. I dedicated the book to his investment in me… it took me 20 years to complete it, but hopefully it will be a resource that will enhance ministry in churches and ministries for years to come!
I’m not sharing the title because I’m not trying to take advantage of the blog for personal purposes… I just wanted to celebrate mentoring, and encourage others to invest in others… Someone invested in you!
At 78, really much to ponder and review as to myself. Thank you for these thoughts.
Leadership Freak has been thought provoking and in many ways was timely in many aspects.
Thank you to the Author and the Team for sharing your thoughts that have been very helpful in 2021.
Looking forward for the new year 2022.
Regards.
“How have others shaped you?”
By leaving scars on my body, mind and spirit. Best lesson from it? Maybe don’t shape others the same way.