Influence Yourself

With the advent of social media came a new communication reckoning. A more fluid path to share ideas, opinions, experiences & observations. We wrote, we read, we liked, we shared, we commented. We opened ourselves to being influenced in ways we had never imagined. Yet, one area still seems largely impervious to change; remaining petrified and impervious.

We still fail to recognize that changing how we view ourselves is vital.

We crowdsource that opinion from every point in the social media universe.

And fail to acknowledge that we are the expert.

Ultimately, we still fail to influence ourselves (about ourselves).

It’s an old mistake; but one wholly amplified by the new zeitgeist. Over time, we have become so accustomed (possibly committed) to being noticed by others, recognized by others, made relevant by others — that we fail to shift our own perspectives of us. This limits our potential in so many aspects of our lives. Everything seems to land at our doorsteps; all of the bits if knowledge & advice. Yet we don’t seem to budge. Even when we are actually the experts on us.

I’ve often thought that therapy is one of the only methods to address this fact. There is something vital about someone skilled to navigate our moments and misconceptions alongside us. Yet, even with that exercise, we are often left standing at the proverbial bus stop waiting for a change in opinion that never fully manifests.

We struggle (famously so) to actually apply what has been brought to our attention.

It seems that changing our self-perception is almost a microscopically slow process of growth & evolution. It behaves in a similar manner to concepts such as confidence or falling in love. You shift slowly, until one day the entire universe of awareness suddenly washes over you. Yet, until that very moment that shift is silent, but all the while dividing, growing.

The way we stumble on that shift is somewhat of a mystery. We are often mired in a dated assessment of ourselves, long after that summary is invalid. Yet, I cannot think of a better investment of focus.

What holds us back is a lack of commitment. A lack of vision. Maybe even a lack of hope.

So. I dare you.

Influence yourself.

Have a thought on this topic? Share in comments.

Dr. Marla Gottschalk is an Industrial/Organizational Psychologist who focuses on bringing core stability to our work lives. She is a charter member of the LinkedIn Top Voice Program. Her thoughts on work & life have appeared in various outlets including the Harvard Business Review, The Muse, Brit & Co, Talent Zoo, Forbes, Quartz and The Huffington Post.