4 Questions that Guide Your Most Important Conversation
Quality of conversations predicts quality of life.
I talk to strangers even though momma said not to. You talk to dogs, babies, team members, bosses, family members, neighbors, and store clerks. Some talk to God. Others talk to nature. But the most important conversation you have is the one you have with yourself.
You guide action with words.
The quality of your leadership is directed by the conversation you have with yourself. Action begins with thought. Thoughts are words you say to yourself.
4 questions that guide the most important conversation:
Two of my clients reflect on the way home. One said he replays the day like a movie in his head. You probably do the same thing but haven’t noticed.
Brains run to dark places without direction. Tell your brain what to think about when you reflect. Self-defeating behaviors take root in gray matter.
Use structure to protect yourself from an angry inner critic. Guide self-reflection with established questions.
- What are you glad you did today? You hate work if you aren’t happy about things you did.
- How did people feel when your conversation with them ended? Anyone can beat down. Leaders energize action.
- What did you plan to do today? What actually got done?
- How did you serve your future self today?
Quality of questions determines quality of self-reflection.
Talk to action:
One leader said he calls people when he feels uncomfortable about a conversation. He doesn’t wait to get home. He calls them on the drive home. “Sometimes people say what they really think on the phone. It feels less confrontational than face-to-face.”
He might say, “I don’t feel good about our conversation.” This leads to reflecting on original intent and evaluating outcomes. He’s owning it, not blaming.
What questions for reflection do you suggest?
Still curious:
The Most Powerful Words You Hear
5 Ways to Expose Your Inner Critic
Don’t Underestimate the Power of Self-Reflection
20 Dangerous Traps Intelligent Leaders Stumble into by Accident
Dan, I love this, “The quality of your leadership is directed by the conversation you have with yourself. Action begins with thought. Thoughts are words you say to yourself.” I have seen this played out to detriment in business and in personal lives multiple times. In both scenarios I have recommended personal counseling. Sometimes we need help to take control of our self-talk. If not properly dealt with, it can be self-defeating both in business and in relationships.
Self-reflection plays a crucial role in personal growth and development, allowing individuals to understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors better. It helps in identifying areas of improvement and setting goals for the future.
For those interested in learning more about how to self-reflect effectively, visit the following blog post: “How to Self Reflect” (https://productive.fish/blog/self-reflection/). And remember, self-reflection is an essential tool for individuals who seek to understand themselves better, become more effective leaders, and lead a more fulfilling life.