How Powerful Feedback Really Works
Feedback is often code for criticism.
Improvement requires feedback but you clench when someone says, “I have some feedback for you.”
Feedback puts you on edge when it’s judgement.
How powerful feedback really works:
#1. Feedback isn’t advice.
Feedback focuses on the past. You see what you did. Advice is about the future.
Lousy advisors are saying, “Be like me.”
You might seek advice after receiving painful feedback.
Always use “s” when seeking advice. What are some way(s) to delegate, for example. Don’t give the impression you’re going to do everything someone suggests.
#2. Feedback requires observation.
If you didn’t see it, you can’t provide feedback. You can repeat what others say, but that’s hearsay and gossip.
If you haven’t seen it, don’t enable gossip to govern your input. Yes, reports from experienced team members can be useful, but don’t call it feedback. Say, “This is what I was told.”
Hold the mirror…
- Your transitions helped me follow the theme of your presentation.
- I noticed you looked at your feet when you introduced yourself.
- You frowned when you brought up a difficult topic.
- You interrupted people during the meeting.
- You delegated a task that didn’t get done.
- You were late for our meeting.
- You spoke freely when responding to questions.
#3. Feedback isn’t evaluation.
Feedback enables improvement. Evaluation assesses performance based on established expectations.
Feedback enables informed decisions because it helps us see ourselves.
A friend said, “When you looked down during your presentation, I felt disconnected from you.” Before presenting I told him I was working on connecting with the audience. After the presentation I asked what he noticed that helped him feel connected with me. I also asked what I did that didn’t serve my goal. I received his feedback years ago, but I always remember it during presentations.
Everyone who pursues excellence craves feedback.
What makes feedback work?
Still curious:
Feedback: Solving the Most Common Failure in Leadership
Feedback: Do These 3 Things Before You Say a Word
5 Reasons Why Feedback is Important
The Vagrant provides structured self-reflection exercises that smooth the path forward for leaders. Order your copy today:
Excellence topic and really hits home with me. “Excellence crave feedback” but I think some of us all crave it at some point. I have a new manager that has been with our department for a little over a year now and she never gives direct feedback which can be frustrating. I’ve never experienced this before from a leader and it can be very frustrating. She told me in one of our 1:1’s that I am the type of person that wants feedback and doing an excellence job in my role but, I’m looking for more than that. Any suggestion on how to pull more out of her??
Aspiration chafes at stagnation. You ask a great question. Here are a few thoughts.
1. Tell her something you’re working to improve. Pick a skill or behavior that propels you forward. Or pick a skill you can use today but has even more relevance if you are promoted.
2. Ask her to notice your performance in that specific area. Explain that in your 1:1 you’re going to ask her what she noticed that about your performance in that area. What did you do that didn’t serve? What did you do that did serve? You could ask for advice also. What suggestions do you have that might move me forward.
3. During 1:1s tell her what your working on again and ask her what she noticed. If you says something like, “You’re doing great,” ask, what am I doing that makes you say that?
4. Seek feedback from colleagues. Go through the same process as listed in numbers 1 and 2 above. You won’t have 1:1s with colleagues but you can set a time when you are going to seek their feedback.
All you’re looking for is their reactions to your actions. Whatever they share is the truth from their point of view. It might not be useful to you, but it’s their reaction.
5. Seek feedback from customers or people you serve.
Improvement requires feedback. We must see how we did and adapt based on that. When we don’t see how we did, improvement is a shot in the dark.
Dan, your comment makes for a separate very useful blog entry!
I especially like your point #3, to ask “what am I doing that makes you say that?”