How to Face Resistance to Your Great Ideas
When you face resistance:
#1. Relax.
Stress closes your mind.
#2. Don’t provide quick answers.
Explore their perspective. Seek input.
The worst thing you can do is answer resistance early in a conversation.
- Quick answers create adversarial relationships.
- Answers invite more objections when given to people who aren’t committed to move forward.
- Answers frustrate people who struggle to find a path forward.
#3. Answer hot emotion before solving difficult problems.
Frustrated people cling to the status quo. Stress makes us stupid.
#4. Open up – don’t dig in.
When you feel resistance, get curious. Defensiveness defeats you. Ask curious questions with an open heart.
- “Thanks for saying that. What brings this to mind for you?”
- “What’s important to you about that?”
- “What do you think we’re trying to accomplish by having this conversation?”
- “I’m curious. Why are you asking?”
- “Your thoughts are important to me. What’s your viewpoint on…?”
- “I hear what you’re saying. What results are you working to achieve?”
- “Thanks for your input. What else comes to mind?”
- “It sounds like you have a viewpoint on this. What led you to your conclusions?”
- “Let’s imagine we adopt your suggestion. What needs to be true for your suggestion to work?”
- “What might make this idea more workable? Less workable?”
- “What’s one argument in favor of this idea? What’s one argument against?”
- “What alternatives might help us move forward, other than continuing to endure a dissatisfying situation?”
Soft landings:
Create a soft-landing strip for hard questions. The sentence before your question is a landing strip.
- Explain an intention. “The reason I’m asking is….”
- Practice gratitude. “Thanks for bringing this to my attention.”
- Summarize. “Here’s what I think you said. Do you think I get it? If not, what am I missing?”
- Notice the obvious. “It seems like you feel strongly about this.”
What are some reasons people resist new ideas?
How might leaders overcome resistance to new ideas?
Still curious:
How to Move from Stupid to Smart when You’re Stressed
Unraveling Resistance to Change
Thank you for the post and guidance. We have a new president that began last week, after our prior one retired following 26 years of service. Change is continuous, and I anticipate it will be very different ‘change’ than what we are used to experiencing (and I’ve been here 24 of those 26 years). As a mid-level leader I see my role as taking guidance from the top and sharing with those I support, and taking feedback from those I support to the top. As my leadership compass is North, I tend to swoop in and fix problems and/or answer/defend quickly. Not helpful in these moments. “Ask a question” will be my internal mantra as natural resistance/questions arise; your list of questions and thinkabouts will assist me in engaging in better and more effective conversations. Thank you!
I respect your intention. It sounds simple but it takes concentration and effort to break the old habit of responding with answers quickly. I ask questions for a living and still feel the impulse to jump in with a solution, even before I know what the real issues are.
One of our problems is thinking we understand the problem when we don’t. The right solution to the wrong problem doesn’t help (often makes things worse.)
Steady on.
Thank you. I needed to hear this. I sometimes provide quick answers as a strategy to redirect when I realize the listener clearly has a misunderstanding of the concept. Most often, when there’s a misunderstanding it makes sense that the whole idea makes no sense to that other person. My goal is to clarify where they have gone wrong in their assessment so we can get back on track – together. However, if there’s a listener who refuses to be wrong and isn’t a fan of asking questions to understand – it doesn’t matter how fast clarifying answers are provided.
You have early adopters, lagging adopters, and NO ADOPTERS.
When resistance is a symptom of an unwillingness to commit, it doesn’t matter what you say. The issue is commitment. Those are committed find a way. Those who aren’t committed find fault.
I was given an object lesson once upon a time… take your hand and put it in front of your nose. Try looking at it, then around it. Now move your hand about 2 feet away and try again. The point is, sometimes our “problems” create a blind spot and seem larger than they are. It takes a better perspective to see them.
I’ve had to learn (and am still learning) to recognize when my problems are too close to see properly. Your article reminds me to help others take a step back from their position. In doing so I can offer them a better perspective to see what is in the way.
Love the object lesson you shared, Ryan. Thank you. One tool for overcoming resistance is t explore multiple perspectives on the same situation. Reminds me of the three blind people feeling different parts of an elephant. Their explanations of the elephant reflect a perspective limited to the part of the elephant they are feeling.
Hello Dan,
Thanks for this article! I loved how succinct, but poignant the points about how to deal with resistance in meetings-it’s certainly something that happens in many businesses!
I have a question regarding your article that, when you have the time, I’d like for you to answer. What do you do if before the change is made, workers are okay with it, but after the change is made, the amount of resistance grows? What can you do besides backpedalling the change that created the resistance in the first place? I’m asking this since I’m currently learning about human performance and improvement in my class and it seems to be something that is common in the industry!
Great job again with your article!
-Liz